Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.
And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
It’s rare to capture the first time a child sees Jon Hamm on film.
He looks more and more loser-ish everytime she trots him out for a photo op to further her name recognition.
she’s nothing short of a fame whore.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cure Parkinson’s, thousands of people died horrible deaths.
well, I guess you had to be there.
“I don’t know what kind of sandwich it is. I just know the sound it makes when it kills a man.”
IHOP called, they want their flapjacks back.
Erica Schmidt: “Now, honey…as soon as the light turns green, we can cross.”
look at all the dust pouring from the cuff of the jeans! Eww!
the Place For Peace dinner to support the Peace Earth Foundation…so, they support what? Dinner?
I support dinner at least once a day. Sometimes twice.
obviously the guy who recommended his
plastic surgeon to kenny rodgers.
Is that a half pack of certs in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?
Is this the Brunin G dude from the Lexx series?
Love the Zoom function.
Be honest…for a split second you thought this was Brooke Shields.
Yes. Yes, I did.
As did I.
Oh, no…not ANOTHER celebrity sleeping with his maid!
Is there really that big of a demand for male sex dolls ?
Remember those dehydrated apple heads you made in second grade during arts & crafts. Yeah like that.
Bitch wore heels, ruined photo op.
Congratulations on your victory in the Pon Farr! Judges, show him what he’s won…
Those boobies!
SURI: “Mommy. It was deadly, but it certainly wasn’t silent!”
Remember the fembots from Austin Powers? I rather meet those.
Original title: ‘The Only Way To Look Like Me Is An Uppercut’
Stallone’s thought bubble: “So this guy was fucking Hayden Panettiere? So jealous!”
Ironically, Milo Ventimiglia played his son in the last Rocky film, and he too porked the Panetierre
If you’re going to get to the level of David Copperfield you clean up your appearance and get the number of his rug maker.
he’s very supportive of paralysis charities because his face has been stuck that way since 1981
GUY IN RED SHORTS: “So Rocky…Who was that woman I saw you with last night?”
STALLONE: “That was no woman, that was my wife!”
GUY IN RED SHORTS: “Are you ready to sing your song while I drink this glass of water?”
“I’m fucking Mila Kunis. I don’t have to try anymore!”
Dammit.
But in all seriousness, do you think that when i squat down like this from some camera angles it looks like your fellating the royal royal jewels?
The boob to waist ratio is WAY off here!
Germans love David Hasselhoff!
Yeah…Not so much anymore
Germans loved Hitler, too.
Their taste in men leaves a little something to be desired.
Hell yess!!!
Honey will you stick that Renuzit up my ass so I don’t smell like a fucking nasty ashtray.
She’s made of many of the same materials as an F1 car.
Ain’t nothing scary about that.
Let’s be honest, he’s old enough not to give a fuck about anything anymore. He earned it.
I didn’t know that Clay Matthews was his son.
no
This photo was taken just seconds after it was announced that the International Cycling Union was taking away all of his comedy awards.
She’s never won a comedy award, silly!
and the best part… not one of these suitors has an antique camera collection.
If Liza Minnelli got impregnated by an orange, this is what the child would look like
He’s looking the the picture of Laura Chiatti too.
He’s turning into Marlon Brando… without the talent.
Moooooooo
“I’m spiritual I have a Dragon tattoo.”
Don’t forget the “Male” symbol above her ass cheek
“Hey good lookin’, We’ll be back to pick you up later!”
I see what you did there. Nice reference.
“Who said ‘penis’?”
“Where?”
she looks like a/his maid
I believe that’s what maggiore was alluding to. Nice try, though.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHWHWHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHWAHHAHWHAHWHWHWHWHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA
It looks like he is mounting her on the elliptical
Yep. Their ‘O’ faces aren’t very stimulating.