The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.12.12

November 12th, 2012 // 665 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.

And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s rare to capture the first time a child sees Jon Hamm on film.

  2. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks more and more loser-ish everytime she trots him out for a photo op to further her name recognition.

  3. Peter Dinklage Erica Schmidt A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Cure Parkinsons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cure Parkinson’s, thousands of people died horrible deaths.

    well, I guess you had to be there.

  4. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t know what kind of sandwich it is. I just know the sound it makes when it kills a man.”

  5. Rita Ora Cleavag MTV EMA
    Sister Ray
    Commented on this photo:

    IHOP called, they want their flapjacks back.

  6. Peter Dinklage Erica Schmidt A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Cure Parkinsons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Erica Schmidt: “Now, honey…as soon as the light turns green, we can cross.”

  7. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    look at all the dust pouring from the cuff of the jeans! Eww!

  8. Gemma Arterton Cleavage Legs See Through Dress Place For Peace Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    the Place For Peace dinner to support the Peace Earth Foundation…so, they support what? Dinner?

  9. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    obviously the guy who recommended his
    plastic surgeon to kenny rodgers.

  10. Enrique Iglesias Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a half pack of certs in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?

  11. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the Brunin G dude from the Lexx series?

  12. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the Zoom function.

  13. Maria Shriver The Grove Tree Lighting Spectacular
    Commented on this photo:

    Be honest…for a split second you thought this was Brooke Shields.

  14. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, no…not ANOTHER celebrity sleeping with his maid!

  15. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there really that big of a demand for male sex dolls ?

  16. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember those dehydrated apple heads you made in second grade during arts & crafts. Yeah like that.

  17. Peter Dinklage Erica Schmidt A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Cure Parkinsons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch wore heels, ruined photo op.

  18. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Montana
    Commented on this photo:

    Congratulations on your victory in the Pon Farr! Judges, show him what he’s won…

  19. Claire Sinclair Cleavage Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    Those boobies!

  20. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    SURI: “Mommy. It was deadly, but it certainly wasn’t silent!”

  21. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember the fembots from Austin Powers? I rather meet those.

  22. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Original title: ‘The Only Way To Look Like Me Is An Uppercut’

  23. Sylvester Stallone Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship Match
    Commented on this photo:

    Stallone’s thought bubble: “So this guy was fucking Hayden Panettiere? So jealous!”

  24. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Jman
    Commented on this photo:

    If you’re going to get to the level of David Copperfield you clean up your appearance and get the number of his rug maker.

  25. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s very supportive of paralysis charities because his face has been stuck that way since 1981

  26. Sylvester Stallone Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship Match
    Commented on this photo:

    GUY IN RED SHORTS: “So Rocky…Who was that woman I saw you with last night?”
    STALLONE: “That was no woman, that was my wife!”
    GUY IN RED SHORTS: “Are you ready to sing your song while I drink this glass of water?”

  27. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m fucking Mila Kunis. I don’t have to try anymore!”

  28. Miranda Kerr Nipples Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit.

  29. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    But in all seriousness, do you think that when i squat down like this from some camera angles it looks like your fellating the royal royal jewels?

  30. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    The boob to waist ratio is WAY off here!

  31. David Hasselhoff
    Commented on this photo:

    Germans love David Hasselhoff!

  32. Isabell Fontana Butt Leather Pants MTV EMA
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    Hell yess!!!

  33. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Stephen Belafonte Shirtless Boating
    Lindsay Lohan Nicotine Lungs
    Commented on this photo:

    Honey will you stick that Renuzit up my ass so I don’t smell like a fucking nasty ashtray.

  34. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s made of many of the same materials as an F1 car.

  35. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Boating
    Commented on this photo:

    Ain’t nothing scary about that.

  36. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s be honest, he’s old enough not to give a fuck about anything anymore. He earned it.

  37. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know that Clay Matthews was his son.

  38. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    no

  39. Carrot Top Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo was taken just seconds after it was announced that the International Cycling Union was taking away all of his comedy awards.

  40. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Matt Lauer
    Commented on this photo:

    and the best part… not one of these suitors has an antique camera collection.

  41. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    If Liza Minnelli got impregnated by an orange, this is what the child would look like

  42. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache Headphones Rise of the Guardians Rome International Film Festival
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s looking the the picture of Laura Chiatti too.

  43. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Matt Lauer
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s turning into Marlon Brando… without the talent.

  44. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Moooooooo

  45. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Boating
    Lindsay Lohan Nicotine Lungs
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m spiritual I have a Dragon tattoo.”

  46. David Hasselhoff
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey good lookin’, We’ll be back to pick you up later!”

  47. Enrique Iglesias Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who said ‘penis’?”
    “Where?”

  48. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Alexis
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a/his maid

  49. Peter Dinklage Erica Schmidt A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Cure Parkinsons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHWHWHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHWAHHAHWHAHWHWHWHWHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA

  50. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like he is mounting her on the elliptical

Leave A Comment