The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.12.12

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm’s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.

And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN