Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.
And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“TIMMONS! I said more collagen STAT!”
I wonder what they are allowing him to eat daily
It might be time to turn the heat up at that bookstore. Or not.
Learning how Tom Cruise feels everyday.
For my next trick, I’m going to transform into a raging homosexual.
Is he using Bon Jovi’s coiffure?
More like Kris Jenner’s…
No man-sexy mole? Then I don’t care.
John Holmes is looking good.
The highlander has assumed a new identity.
Now starring in The Bruce Jenner Story…….
Remember that soft porn movie he did?
Ye- n…o.
Jesus, that’s where boxing has fallen to. Stallone is the biggest star “in” the sport.
The fact that two unknown white guys are fighting was my clue.
Just because you don’t know who they are doesn’t make them unknowns.
Obviously wanker doesn’t know shit about boxing if he’s not familiar with the Klitschko brothers. I’ll never forgive Vitali for fucking Hayden Panettiere before I could get to her. I would have fought him for her favors except that was the weekend I had to wash my socks.
“I’ll never forgive Vitali for fucking Hayden Panettiere …”
….Wladimir …….)) not Vitali!
Do you honestly think she noticed the difference?
certainly))) Vladimir younger, more beautiful and more successful))….yes, and sexuality) this my opinion, as women!
Lou Diamond Phillips on the set of his new reality series, “Mommy, Why Is Lou Diamond Phillips Sleeping in Our Garage?”
I’ll take both of the girls. Guy can hold the camera.
Marie Osmond unveils her new “Sister Wives Pedophile Collection”.
I guess he’s bending it like Beckham, again!
See last weeks post….
Uh, Wayne. That shocker is going to be a little too shocking.
There goes $20 of Starbucks best.
One of those belonged to Seal.
Russell Brand cleans up nicely.
“So then he told I couldn’t fuck his dog, just his sheep, and I asked him “Do you know who I am? “
Why isnt he playing with some stupid Britsh Farm Animals…….
He’ll be visiting a deep country farming station soon enough, I assure you.
“Yeah, he’s a midget, but he’s got a giant…oh, who am I kidding. He’s a fucking midget.”
He’s NOT a midget. He is a little person suffering from Dwarfism. They’re not the same. Just ask your dick.
Vegas. Where you take your no talent ass-clown show when you realize it was never funny, never cool, and never successful. You can then make a lot of money off of people so stupid that they can’t calculate the odds on the penny slots.
Bill Cosby called and said… well, you know where this was going.
She’s beautiful.
i would still pound this monster.
Alec Baldwin and his future alimony payment recipient.
There should be a moratorium on boob jobs in the UK, until their surgeons get some much needed training.
Lesson number one: a woman’s breast does not begin at her clavicle.
#2: nor do they begin at his adam’s apple!
What does he see in her?
His head is at crotch level.
Her legs look great.
You’re the wrong gender if your trying to get Kevin Clash to stick something up your ass.
(clapping, cheering from audience)
“And now, for my next act, I’m going to insert my penis into this woman and simultaneously kiss her at the same time!! ”
(gasps, cries from the audience)
That’s hysterical! I can hear the audience now.
Did he import her from Guatemela or something?
Heidi was shocked to discover she was down to four.
“Soon He-Man will bow before ME!”
What’s with the picture of a baked potato topped with pubic hair, Fish?
I think he’s an awesome and underrated actor.
I was never particularly fond of him until he did some guest appearances on NUM3ERS. Recently he did a summer replacement series called Longmire, and he’s pretty damn good. He seems to have mellowed with age.
I loved Longmire. Wish they didn’t cancel Breakout Kings.
Wait, What? Breakout Kings is cancelled?
Checkers anyone?
That doll looks old enough to marry in Mormonism.
Wedding ring, pregnant, move along.
Really? It’s the wedding ring that means you don’t have a chance?
actually, it’s the vagina.
This girl was hot as hell in Quantum of Solace
James Bond nailed her ass within an hour of meeting her. Awesome.
At first I thought, you have to admire a guy who can bag Mila Kunis, even when he’s clearly a tool. Then I saw her track record with men. Mild admiration revoked.
First In!
Men In Black, Part Douche!
is this going to make him act better?
So men are doing the “over-the-shoulder-show-your-ass-to-the-camera” pose now? FML.
He should use pommade on that little clump of hair and turn it into a little horn. That’d be funny.
Katie, don’t make scary faces like this. It gives Tom a damn good excuse for a new custody hearing.
So what…I’m some kind of titty savant that has to be the one to point out that those are seams on her blouse, not nipples?
The Titty Savants will be doing their dissertations on this photo…Professor Smackup, class is in session.
Roll call!
Bueller?…Bueller?…bueller
Those seams are just giving back to us what the bra has so cruelly taken away. That’s what I call fashion justice.
Whatever you do, DON’T use the zoom function on this one.