The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.12.12

November 12th, 2012 // 665 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.

And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Claire Sinclair Cleavage Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    When the cute wears off, the tits will be sagging. The market trend says to buy in early, and tread carefully long term waiting for the break point.

  2. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    He reached that point where the only way to look weirder was to look normal.

  3. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Stephen Belafonte Shirtless Boating
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, it slipped out again.. You gotta be more careful… They think we’re just a normal heterosexual couple on vacation”

  4. Lou Diamond Phillips Wearing Tiara Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    As a dad, I can respect this picture and this man.

  5. Lou Diamond Phillips Wearing Tiara Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “My daughter is a better, what?”
    “Actor!”
    Incredulous look + silence.

    Aaaannnnnd… SCENE!

  6.  Marie Osmond Doll Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy in the back is getting impatient waiting for his fucking doll to get signed.

  7. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfect amount for an airtight.

  8. Peter Dinklage Erica Schmidt A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Cure Parkinsons Event
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    “A funny thing happened when I put this man in the drier,” she said.

  9. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    With all her money, she can’t afford a mirror?

  10.  Marie Osmond Doll Signing
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    whatever this shit is, it needs a liberal dose of fire to correct.

  11. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Five big, dark sausages only for her? Heidi calls that “Dienstag,” bitches.

  12. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I do the same thing sometimes.

  13. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Commented on this photo:

    Usually a guy sporting a puffy vest, pornstache and US Flag hat would know how to throw a punch. It’s only in LA, where “men” throw their iced chai lattes and then run to the the safety of their Toyata hybrids.

  14. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Practice makes perfect.

  15. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know how he does it…. he just keeps getting douchier. And douchier.

  16. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    saavik001
    Commented on this photo:

    you are old, get over it lady…

  17. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is there an attractive women pictured on the cover of her autobiography?

  18. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Wide Shoulders? Check.
    No Hips? Check.
    Bad extensions? Check.
    Fake Tits? Check.
    Chin down to hide adam’s apple? Check.
    Man Face? Check.

    Yeah… this is a dude everyone. Right here… it’s a dude.

  19. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, her hairline is reced . . . wait, she’s which one?

  20. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Commented on this photo:

    Being rich is neat.

  21. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    Commented on this photo:

    Pippa?

  22. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    saavik001
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m your huckleberry… Didn’t know they were remaking Tombstone.

  23. Miranda Kerr Nipples Tight Dress
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    T.H.O. Alert!

  24. Laura Chiatti Cleavage Rome International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s beautiful. Who is she?

  25. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    Commented on this photo:

    At first I thought he was staring at some nudist chick’s baps. It took a while to sink in that he was ogling a naked man. Now it all makes sense.

  26. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Why don’t I have a book?

  27. Lou Diamond Phillips Wearing Tiara Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Ruth
    Commented on this photo:

    I miss SGU.

    DO NOT JUDGE ME.

  28. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    On the positive side, I found the upholstery from my couch. On the negative side, it’s all stretched out and smells like urine now (I bet).

  29. Isabell Fontana Butt Leather Pants MTV EMA
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate fringe, but it’s hard to argue with that ass.

  30. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Eet zose vienerz mit fraulein!

  31. Charlie Hunnam Sons Of Anarchy Season Five Celebration
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Quick, someone tell him that he’s not actually going to nail either of them!

  32. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Depeche Mode touring again?

  33. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was Andy Dick being caught in public with one of his Johns

  34. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw hell, couldn’t you wait til ya got on the fuckin plane….to eat that $10.00 Sub…

  35. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Ruth
    Commented on this photo:

    NEXT.

  36. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Commented on this photo:

    Born a woman.

  37. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    You know you’ve gone overboard with the photoshop when the coverphoto looks nothing like you.

  38. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    Still a jackass and a fake.

  39. Claire Sinclair Cleavage Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t this the girl Hef’s kid beat up? Oops. Here comes Chris Brown . . .

  40. Gemma Arterton Cleavage Legs See Through Dress Place For Peace Dinner
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Who would have thought that the Place For Peace dinner to support the Peace Earth Foundation was really just a ruse to dress fancy and congratulate other assholes for doing the same.

  41.  Marie Osmond Doll Signing
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Mustache Man is not impressed.

  42. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the little pig or his new wife? I can’t remember.

  43. Laura Chiatti Cleavage Rome International Film Festival
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    What does Chiatti mean in Italian? Big a tittie!

  44. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache Headphones Rise of the Guardians Rome International Film Festival
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    When did he morph into Phil Collins?

  45. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Do paps just fucking stand around in LAX waiting all day to take these useless shots?

  46. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    You there! We’re not in New Guinea, put a shirt on!

  47. Joey Lawrence Tight V Neck Shirt Perv Stache Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    At least this teen idol isn’t running around with claiming bananas are God’s proof he exists.

  48. Isabell Fontana Butt Leather Pants MTV EMA
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I appreciate a woman who brings her own bondage equipment. And has that ass.

  49. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude’s thinking, “If I can just slide a finger down the crack of that ass”

  50. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    She’ll do anything to get on the Larry David Show!

Leave A Comment