Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.
And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“You’ve got AIDS…You’ve got the AIDS…Not HIV but full-blown AIDS…”
“I believe it was right around there. Yes, that’s right, that’s where I peed in the pool. Sorry chaps. Just swim around it.”
You know, Enrique…that’s a pretty good Maria Shriver impersonation.
Its been a long year but finally someone has been able to fill in the great void of things being pointed at since Kim Jong-il left us in December of 2011.
This is fucking brilliant! Maybe my favorite non-titty/dick pic EVER.
Open the door
Get on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur
I thinks he is following some sort of bale method.
note to self: Smoking Sherm’s dipped in acid is cool again.
ооо…Vladimir Klychko… he is the very nice)) real man))) study for him, boys!! he is a clever, strong, beautiful and decent) champion….and free! Hayden, smoke in a side!
STILL. UTTERLY. HIDEOUS.
scairt me!
gad he’s turned into that cat lady thing.
Alec Baldwin wife call 911on me and use her fake name. USA Statement done with false identity are FELONY. I got 911 tape+ Hilaria will now teach yoga with no view in JAIL
Her real name is Hilary Hayward and all she say is LIES, I would never want to learn anything from a liar! It would all be false.
Whaaaaat?
If this is satire, it… no, I still don’t get it.
More unknown bolt-ons. Do none of these bitches know how to find a good plastic surgeon?
I fucking hate this guy.
Is it ever a good idea to pose next to a Photoshopped photo of yourself? Particularly when you are this broad?
“. . . to cure paralysis in Miami.”
Let’s hope they start with his head.
he’s either playing Charles Manson or John Holmes
Something’s wrong.. She looks great. She is usually a real butterface.
“Sorry Sir, but the contest for ‘Best Halloween Pumpkin Face’ was last week. You will have to leave now.”
He needs to go back to Demi and die quietly in her arms.
When I first glanced at this picture, I thought there were pins sticking out of his head, like that guy in Hellraiser.. Then I’m thinking, wow, dude grew hair, wtf?
Jeeze, Mel! You shat yourself again. I can’t take you anywhere, lay of the booze for Christ’s sake.
The thumbnail was telegraphing “emo Gabriel Byrne”. I should know by now when to leave shit unclicked, damnit…
Not even generosity comes through easily when you have a shitty pulse.
You gotta love this old guy and the truckful of fucks he refuses to give.
Needs more hamstring flexibility, the angle of her hips isn’t right.
After all these years fondling his nads, he finally discovered he has a butt too.
What, no stroke jokes?
I was so proud of myself for not clinking on the Carrot Top thumb, and what the flying fuck am I doing here!
“Turn onnnn, tune innnnn, cope a handfulllll….”
I question the sanity of adults who enjoy, own and/or collect dolls.
Action figures are fine. Dolls are not.
No mentions of Jon Hamm?
thought this was carly rae jepsen
oh my gosh, at first i thought it was a mutation of Lindsay Lohan/Katie Price
“Look at him! Isn’t he cute? I can fit him in my pocket!”
?
I can smell his sweaty “old man” smell from here. Blurghhh. Not enough money or fame could make me sleep with an old dude. Unless when I’m older than said old dude. I guess I’ll resign myself to that at some point.
How many of those wieners do you think she can fit inside her anus?
Don’t know who she is but she looks plenty good enough to bang or at least masturbate to.
Never seen that chick before but she’s cute. I would bang the crap out of her.
She’s amazing. I might even let her pee on me if that’s what it took to get to bang her.
I love that he’s going bald. Still hot, but now we know he’s actually human. I used to think he was too pretty to be real.
Why is every pic of her in mid-sentence? Everybody looks weird if you snap a picture of them talking.
Ugh. I don’t know who she is either but she’s got a terrible dye job, a terrible boob job, and a really terrible outfit. Somebody get this girl a cup of normal, asap.
I think he’s pretty hot.
I’d hate to have people following me taking pictures. That kid looks terrified.
Ew. Yuck. This guy is creepy.
Is this supposed to look hipster?
I bet her anus is glorious.