The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.12.12

November 12th, 2012 // 665 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.

And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    Schweddy Snatch
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’ve got AIDS…You’ve got the AIDS…Not HIV but full-blown AIDS…”

  2. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    Natty Ice
    Commented on this photo:

    “I believe it was right around there. Yes, that’s right, that’s where I peed in the pool. Sorry chaps. Just swim around it.”

  3. Enrique Iglesias Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Natty Ice
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, Enrique…that’s a pretty good Maria Shriver impersonation.

  4. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    Donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Its been a long year but finally someone has been able to fill in the great void of things being pointed at since Kim Jong-il left us in December of 2011.

  5. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    This is fucking brilliant! Maybe my favorite non-titty/dick pic EVER.

  6. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Open the door
    Get on the floor
    Everybody walk the dinosaur

  7. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    martian
    Commented on this photo:

    I thinks he is following some sort of bale method.

  8. Thomas Jane Hat Cigar
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    note to self: Smoking Sherm’s dipped in acid is cool again.

  9. Sylvester Stallone Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship Match
    Natali
    Commented on this photo:

    ооо…Vladimir Klychko… he is the very nice)) real man))) study for him, boys!! he is a clever, strong, beautiful and decent) champion….and free! Hayden, smoke in a side!

  10. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    sandycakes
    Commented on this photo:

    STILL. UTTERLY. HIDEOUS.

  11. Maria Shriver The Grove Tree Lighting Spectacular
    sandycakes
    Commented on this photo:

    scairt me!

  12. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    sandycakes
    Commented on this photo:

    gad he’s turned into that cat lady thing.

  13. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    genevieve Sabourin
    Commented on this photo:

    Alec Baldwin wife call 911on me and use her fake name. USA Statement done with false identity are FELONY. I got 911 tape+ Hilaria will now teach yoga with no view in JAIL

    Her real name is Hilary Hayward and all she say is LIES, I would never want to learn anything from a liar! It would all be false.

  14. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Shorty80
    Commented on this photo:

    More unknown bolt-ons. Do none of these bitches know how to find a good plastic surgeon?

  15. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    BillEBuoy
    Commented on this photo:

    I fucking hate this guy.

  16. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    Shorty80
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it ever a good idea to pose next to a Photoshopped photo of yourself? Particularly when you are this broad?

  17. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    BillEBuoy
    Commented on this photo:

    “. . . to cure paralysis in Miami.”

    Let’s hope they start with his head.

  18. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s either playing Charles Manson or John Holmes

  19. Miranda Kerr Nipples Tight Dress
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Something’s wrong.. She looks great. She is usually a real butterface.

  20. Carrot Top Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sorry Sir, but the contest for ‘Best Halloween Pumpkin Face’ was last week. You will have to leave now.”

  21. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    He needs to go back to Demi and die quietly in her arms.

  22. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Commented on this photo:

    When I first glanced at this picture, I thought there were pins sticking out of his head, like that guy in Hellraiser.. Then I’m thinking, wow, dude grew hair, wtf?

  23. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Stephen Belafonte Shirtless Boating
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeeze, Mel! You shat yourself again. I can’t take you anywhere, lay of the booze for Christ’s sake.

  24. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    The thumbnail was telegraphing “emo Gabriel Byrne”. I should know by now when to leave shit unclicked, damnit…

  25. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Commented on this photo:

    Not even generosity comes through easily when you have a shitty pulse.

  26. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    You gotta love this old guy and the truckful of fucks he refuses to give.

  27. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs more hamstring flexibility, the angle of her hips isn’t right.

  28. David Beckham Stretching Pink Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    After all these years fondling his nads, he finally discovered he has a butt too.

  29. Enrique Iglesias Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Commented on this photo:

    What, no stroke jokes?

  30. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    I was so proud of myself for not clinking on the Carrot Top thumb, and what the flying fuck am I doing here!

  31.  Marie Osmond Doll Signing
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    I question the sanity of adults who enjoy, own and/or collect dolls.

    Action figures are fine. Dolls are not.

  32. Enrique Iglesias Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    No mentions of Jon Hamm?

  33. Claire Sinclair Cleavage Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    thought this was carly rae jepsen

  34. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    ugh
    Commented on this photo:

    oh my gosh, at first i thought it was a mutation of Lindsay Lohan/Katie Price

  35. Sylvester Stallone Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship Match
    Timothy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at him! Isn’t he cute? I can fit him in my pocket!”

  36. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Devilish Diva
    Commented on this photo:

    I can smell his sweaty “old man” smell from here. Blurghhh. Not enough money or fame could make me sleep with an old dude. Unless when I’m older than said old dude. I guess I’ll resign myself to that at some point.

  37. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    How many of those wieners do you think she can fit inside her anus?

  38. Claire Sinclair Cleavage Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t know who she is but she looks plenty good enough to bang or at least masturbate to.

  39. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    Never seen that chick before but she’s cute. I would bang the crap out of her.

  40. Gemma Arterton Cleavage Legs See Through Dress Place For Peace Dinner
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s amazing. I might even let her pee on me if that’s what it took to get to bang her.

  41. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache Headphones Rise of the Guardians Rome International Film Festival
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    I love that he’s going bald. Still hot, but now we know he’s actually human. I used to think he was too pretty to be real.

  42. Maria Shriver The Grove Tree Lighting Spectacular
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is every pic of her in mid-sentence? Everybody looks weird if you snap a picture of them talking.

  43. Rita Ora Cleavag MTV EMA
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh. I don’t know who she is either but she’s got a terrible dye job, a terrible boob job, and a really terrible outfit. Somebody get this girl a cup of normal, asap.

  44. Thomas Jane Hat Cigar
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s pretty hot.

  45. Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hate to have people following me taking pictures. That kid looks terrified.

  46. Carrot Top Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew. Yuck. This guy is creepy.

  47. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this supposed to look hipster?

  48. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet her anus is glorious.

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