The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.12.12

November 12th, 2012 // 665 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.

And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Sylvester Stallone Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship Match
    Commented on this photo:

    “I will crush him”

  2. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    What a waste of a good drink.

  3. Thomas Jane Hat Cigar
    Commented on this photo:

    The hooker becomes a pimp

  4. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if that’s a Hamm sandwich.

  5. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever since she left Seal, people have been dying to throw some sausage Heidi’s way.

  6. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    joe
    Commented on this photo:
  7. Gemma Arterton Cleavage Legs See Through Dress Place For Peace Dinner
    Commented on this photo:

    Lovely

  8. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m reminded of a baby giraffe.

  9. Miranda Kerr Nipples Tight Dress
    Dan Quayle
    Commented on this photo:

    Erect I stood

  10. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Commented on this photo:

    “Murica is for white people!”

  11. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Up…you know, like the direction my nipples are pointing.

  12. Rita Ora Cleavag MTV EMA
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Charo!

  13. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Going for the AVN “Most simultaneous penetrations” award this year.

  14. Lou Diamond Phillips Wearing Tiara Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    ♫♫Para bailar la Bamba, se necesita una poca tiara. Una poca tiara con tu bebe.♫♫

  15. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Commented on this photo:

    Diary, Monday November 12, 2012:
    Today, I threw my soy milk, double latte, 2 truvia frappuccino at this photographer…

    That’ll teach ‘em not to mess with me…

  16. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache Headphones Rise of the Guardians Rome International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    When people mock his receding hairline, this is the look he gives before he shags your wife until she can’t breath properly. He always leaves with a classy “Good day to you Ma’am”

  17. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Commented on this photo:

    Hilaria Thomas is a funny name.

  18. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one sexy chick…

  19. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    So John Waters found the fountain of youth….

  20. Thomas Jane Hat Cigar
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Middle-aged. Divorced. Broke. Unemployed.

    • Trek Girl

      According to IMDB, he has one movie completed this year, three in pre-production, and three in post-production. He’s not doing to bad in the employment arena.

  21. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    Octomom?

  22. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    Commented on this photo:

    This tranny knows how to work “her” johns. Going down on the dancefloor is an extra $25.

    • Dick Hell

      At first glance I thought that was Andy Dick and I couldn’t figure out which of them should feel ashamed.

  23. Claire Sinclair Cleavage Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    Who? What? oh… right… Boobies… Carry on..

  24. Sylvester Stallone Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship Match
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t look at Stallone without hearing bill Burr’s Philadelphia rant in my head.

  25. Wayne Newton Gang Signs Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    How nice. The folks at Chia Pet did a life-sized Wayne Newton.

  26. Peter Dinklage Erica Schmidt A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Cure Parkinsons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    A funny thing? I would say more than just one….

  27. Maria Shriver The Grove Tree Lighting Spectacular
    Commented on this photo:

    The grinch who scared the fuck out of everyone…

  28. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    The takeaway here is that Reese Witherspoon is married to a pansy. Figures.

  29. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris just found out that Joe Simpson is available.

  30. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Will always be her most awesome angle.

    • karlito

      this women just loves bending over. all her bikini pictures are of her showing us her bent over camel toe.

  31. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    GLT
    Commented on this photo:

    George Harrison looks good for a dead guy.

  32. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the best asses on the planet. Now with a tramp stamp!

  33. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just curious how he fit into Peter Dinklage’s trousers.

  34. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this an audition for Dancing with the Stars?

  35. Laura Chiatti Cleavage Rome International Film Festival
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this chick pregnant? ‘Cause if so, still hit it. If not…yeah, still hit it. DON’T JUDGE ME.

  36. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Commented on this photo:

    Same throwing style as Romo

  37. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks EXACTLY like the creepy Vietnam Vet/Ex Con that used to “hang out” by my grade school. They gave him a job as the crossing guard. It was a simpler time.

  38. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are completely unknown people writing books and who in God’s name is actually buying them?

    • Trek Girl

      She starred in a show called “The Only Way is Essex” for sixty-five episodes, she has the Katie Price-esque glamour model look down pat, and she went through personal struggles.

      Roll all of that together and you’ve got yourself a book deal.

  39. Miranda Kerr Nipples Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She may very well be perfect. I can’t think of anything bad to say.

  40. Charlie Hunnam Sons Of Anarchy Season Five Celebration
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    those poor girls…is this some sort of benefit for the facially re.tarded?

  41. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Just TRY to use the gauze to hold together the ass cleavage. IMPOSSIBLE

  42. Janice Dickinson Dancing
    Commented on this photo:

    What did Larry David ever do to her?

  43. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Commented on this photo:

    Why not aim for the camera? Idiot.

  44. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    B is for douche….

  45. Carrot Top Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Kathy Griffin is looking better…

  46. Charlie Hunnam Sons Of Anarchy Season Five Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    I would say these are two shameless starfuckers, but then I would have to call this guy a “star”.

  47. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Boating
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, she’s got the tucking down to a science…

  48. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome to Las Vegas. Please leave any self-awareness at the border.

  49. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Prince Charles, on the Everlasting Random Shit World Tour.

  50.  Marie Osmond Doll Signing
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave it to a Mormon to create a child porn inflatable.

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