Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.
And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“I will crush him”
What a waste of a good drink.
Hey, Littering is BAD
The hooker becomes a pimp
I wonder if that’s a Hamm sandwich.
Ever since she left Seal, people have been dying to throw some sausage Heidi’s way.
Lovely
Indeed…
I’m reminded of a baby giraffe.
Erect I stood
Those are NOT Nipples; They Are Darts in the Dress (sewing term)
They’re causing a javelin in my trousers.
not a sewing term
I love this site, you people are hilarious!
“Murica is for white people!”
Up…you know, like the direction my nipples are pointing.
Charo!
Going for the AVN “Most simultaneous penetrations” award this year.
♫♫Para bailar la Bamba, se necesita una poca tiara. Una poca tiara con tu bebe.♫♫
Diary, Monday November 12, 2012:
Today, I threw my soy milk, double latte, 2 truvia frappuccino at this photographer…
That’ll teach ‘em not to mess with me…
When people mock his receding hairline, this is the look he gives before he shags your wife until she can’t breath properly. He always leaves with a classy “Good day to you Ma’am”
Hilaria Thomas is a funny name.
It’s totally Hilar.
That is one sexy chick…
So John Waters found the fountain of youth….
Middle-aged. Divorced. Broke. Unemployed.
According to IMDB, he has one movie completed this year, three in pre-production, and three in post-production. He’s not doing to bad in the employment arena.
Octomom?
This tranny knows how to work “her” johns. Going down on the dancefloor is an extra $25.
At first glance I thought that was Andy Dick and I couldn’t figure out which of them should feel ashamed.
Who? What? oh… right… Boobies… Carry on..
I can’t look at Stallone without hearing bill Burr’s Philadelphia rant in my head.
I can’t look at Stallone.
Fish, you gotta figre out a way to include these kind of exchanges on TMIP.
How nice. The folks at Chia Pet did a life-sized Wayne Newton.
A funny thing? I would say more than just one….
The grinch who scared the fuck out of everyone…
The takeaway here is that Reese Witherspoon is married to a pansy. Figures.
Chris just found out that Joe Simpson is available.
Will always be her most awesome angle.
this women just loves bending over. all her bikini pictures are of her showing us her bent over camel toe.
George Harrison looks good for a dead guy.
One of the best asses on the planet. Now with a tramp stamp!
I’m just curious how he fit into Peter Dinklage’s trousers.
Is this an audition for Dancing with the Stars?
Is this chick pregnant? ‘Cause if so, still hit it. If not…yeah, still hit it. DON’T JUDGE ME.
Same throwing style as Romo
This looks EXACTLY like the creepy Vietnam Vet/Ex Con that used to “hang out” by my grade school. They gave him a job as the crossing guard. It was a simpler time.
did he rape you?
I don’t think he was interested in boys. Or getting clean off the heroin.
Why are completely unknown people writing books and who in God’s name is actually buying them?
She starred in a show called “The Only Way is Essex” for sixty-five episodes, she has the Katie Price-esque glamour model look down pat, and she went through personal struggles.
Roll all of that together and you’ve got yourself a book deal.
She may very well be perfect. I can’t think of anything bad to say.
I can.
She doesn’t live with me. That’s pretty bad.
those poor girls…is this some sort of benefit for the facially re.tarded?
Just TRY to use the gauze to hold together the ass cleavage. IMPOSSIBLE
What did Larry David ever do to her?
Why not aim for the camera? Idiot.
B is for douche….
+ 1
Kathy Griffin is looking better…
I would say these are two shameless starfuckers, but then I would have to call this guy a “star”.
Welcome to Las Vegas. Please leave any self-awareness at the border.
Man, she’s got the tucking down to a science…
I can’t see what Eddie Murphy liked about her.
Prince Charles, on the Everlasting Random Shit World Tour.
Leave it to a Mormon to create a child porn inflatable.