The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.8.12

October 8th, 2012 // 545 Comments

What do you mean this isn’t an unedited photo of her in the morning? YOU LIE.

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you earlier than usual because we have hard, turgid, possibly purple-headed data (No idea why I just made that into a dick joke.) that says most of you have the day off today. So enjoy this random smattering of celebrity schadenfreude which actually has a Final Five that isn’t Rita Rusic or Scotty Pippen’s old lady because Elderly Week ended Friday with our annual “Mmmm, You Take Out Those Dentures” Festival. In fact, it’s Nicole Scherzinger who somehow looks more and more breastacular right down to the fifth shot. Trust me on this one.

Fall back into my arms and I will catch- Ooh, a quarter…

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Nipples No Underwear Maxi Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing MooMoo Couture from the Jennifer Love Hewitt collection.

  2. Sean Penn Hat Ponytail Sunglasses Checking Out Random Woman
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    He has finally turned into the creepy guy outside the convenience store who buys teenagers beer.

  3. Amber Rose Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor thing looks like she needed a $5.00 foot long.

  4. Halle Berry Cleavage 4th Annual Power of Women Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Sexy on the outside, batshit crazy on the inside.

  5. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot Topic just advertised a sale on ass-less chaps.

  6. Christina Aguilera Naked New Album Cover
    wonkydonky
    Commented on this photo:

    So the horror of her vazhjeen blew out all the highlights in the photo.

    You know how gigantic that thing has to be to create a lens-flare that big?

    I’ll give you a hint: Bigger than The Sun orbited by Planet Earth

  7. Rita Ora Signing Fans Butt Cheek
    Commented on this photo:

    “Exit Only!”

  8. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bro, you’ve got that remote-controlled vibrating butt plug turned up way-y-y too high…”

  9. Carl Weathers Fedora Charity Poker Tournament
    Commented on this photo:

    “So the first step is left foot pointed forward. Then what, left foot pointed back?”

  10. David Beckham Stretching
    Fingerogd
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dammit! I forgot to wear a tampon again. Look at my shoes, they’re ruined now!”

  11. Ashley Greene Cleavage 4th Annual Power Of Women Event
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fucking amazing in this pic…best photo of her with clothes on that I can remember seeing. (I really did like those SoBe ads she did.)

  12. Steven Tyler Scarf Gay Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon, Tyler, you’re giving old hippies like us a bad name.

  13. Daryl Hannah Blocking Construction Equipment
    Fingerogd
    Commented on this photo:

    Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is.

  14. Ali Larter Cleavage Winking
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she fell into a vat of Cheetos. I’m going to go over and lick that stuff off of her…

  15. Elijah Wood Sitges Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Elijah, fer fuck sake, you’re 31 years old. It’s time to stop dressing like an 8th grade nerd!

  16. Ali Larter Cleavage Winking
    Fingerogd
    Commented on this photo:

    “My last John got me in the eye. It stings like Hell but at least he paid double.”

  17. Elizabeth Hurley
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s Elizabeth Hurley 20 years ago, before she was the ravishing woman she is now. What exactly did she have done to achieve this beauty: nose job? eye brows? caps on her teeth? What…???

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/09/hurley-340_253.jpg[/img]

  18. Sofia Vergara Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit! Look at that butt. Look at those tits. I’m spent just looking at her.

  19. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at those lips…Hey, imagination, go to bed.

  20. Steve-O Naked Dick Pushed Between Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucking letdown. Must be time for bed.

  21. Steven Tyler Scarf Gay Friend
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Steven what time does Lane Bryant open again ?”

  22. Elijah Wood Sitges Film Festival
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    his mother still dresses him.
    you know his mother- that corpse upstairs in the rocking chair that is always telling him what to do and the proper way to do it.

  23. Heidi Klum Eating Popsicle
    Mickey01232000
    Commented on this photo:

    I am sure that isn’t the biggest thing she has ever had in her mouth.

  24. Peter Dinklage Yarmulke The Angriest Man In Brooklyn Set
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s why the Lannisters are the richest family in Westeros? They’re Jewish?

  25. Amber Rose Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone should tell her that dying her hair Brigitte Nielsen platinum blonde and getting an Irish tattoo won’t make her white

  26. Rita Ora Signing Fans Butt Cheek
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is putting “Stiffy” next to your butt crack like designating a parking space?

  27. Steve-O Naked Dick Pushed Between Legs
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    In an alternate universe, this is what became of Jerry Seinfeld

  28. Kim Kardashian Nipples No Underwear Maxi Dress
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    MMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  29. Kim Kardashian Nipples No Underwear Maxi Dress
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Theft and misappropriation of one Marquee.

    Mooooooo

  30. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    I call AIDS !

  31. Sean Penn Hat Ponytail Sunglasses Checking Out Random Woman
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s a khunt

  32. Elijah Wood Sitges Film Festival
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Surely the Sitges Film Festival is in Sitges, the gay capital of Spain, not Madrid.

  33. Elizabeth Hurley
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    A simple girl from Basingstoke has more class that Tamara “Spawn of Bernie”

  34. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s an entire bolt of gold braid trim. Must be a bitch to roll yourself up in. And dizzy.

  35. Christina Aguilera Naked New Album Cover
    You
    Commented on this photo:

    If you look at the cover for her single then this photo, you will notice her belly button changes positions on her abdomen, clearly photoshopped.

  36. Kim Kardashian Nipples No Underwear Maxi Dress
    dairyair
    Commented on this photo:

    The Cincinnati Reds want their tarp back.

  37. Kelly Brook Cleavage Legs Minidress Runway
    NekkidDawg
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the most womanly woman in womanesque curves I’ve seen in this joint. I’m going to print this photo with gummy bear flavored ink so I can lick it for the next couple of weeks.

  38. Christina Aguilera Naked New Album Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Incidentally, my vagina also makes me look radiant if you stare right into it.

  39. Christina Aguilera Naked New Album Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    this album cover is deeply symbolic, most of you probably just don’t appreciate the symbolism

    Her lower half is faded out to show her emergence from obscurity, appearing more focused as your eye travels up to her face as her voice is that which defines her

    The outstretched arms symbolize her welcome embrace, simultaneously offering her music as a gift to the world and accepting us all as the muse that inspires her

    Her white hair shows her reverence for Daenerys Targaryen

    The vacanat expression displays her inability to hold a coherent thought

    And finally, the full body photoshopping is a clear expression of the fact she’s greasy, fat, and unattractive

  40. Heidi Klum Eating Popsicle
    Commented on this photo:

    And now we know why Seal dumped her

  41. Daryl Hannah Blocking Construction Equipment
    Commented on this photo:

    I seem to remember a hippie chick trying this in the Gaza Strip…it didn’t work out so good for her. I hope Daryl is as committed to the cause.

  42. Jennifer Lopez Spread Eagle Crotch Mesh Body Suit Wetten Dass
    Commented on this photo:

    A little baby powder will help with that wetten dass.

    • 805fatty

      i have no idea why, but i was work today at my very boring job and for some reason “McFeely Smackup” popped into my head out of the blue. i must read this shit too often….

  43. Amber Rose Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like “buy one, get one free” is away of life for her.

  44. Rita Ora Signing Fans Butt Cheek
    Commented on this photo:

    “Flesh Tone” is a very nonspecific color

  45. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress must be really tight to be pushing the silicone out through the pores of her face.

  46. Steve-O Naked Dick Pushed Between Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Next he puts on a dress made from Jessica Simpson’s skin…and it’s too big.

  47. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s walking to his own funeral.

  48. Russell Simmons Shirtless Leila Lopes Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m RICH BITCH!!!!!!

  49. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    duckfacegangstar
    Commented on this photo:

    He nailed the Fred from Scooby Doo look.

  50. Elijah Wood Sitges Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s the white Michael Strahan.

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