What do you mean this isn’t an unedited photo of her in the morning? YOU LIE.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you earlier than usual because we have hard, turgid, possibly purple-headed data (No idea why I just made that into a dick joke.) that says most of you have the day off today. So enjoy this random smattering of celebrity schadenfreude which actually has a Final Five that isn’t Rita Rusic or Scotty Pippen’s old lady because Elderly Week ended Friday with our annual “Mmmm, You Take Out Those Dentures” Festival. In fact, it’s Nicole Scherzinger who somehow looks more and more breastacular right down to the fifth shot. Trust me on this one.
Fall back into my arms and I will catch- Ooh, a quarter…
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
She’s wearing MooMoo Couture from the Jennifer Love Hewitt collection.
He has finally turned into the creepy guy outside the convenience store who buys teenagers beer.
Poor thing looks like she needed a $5.00 foot long.
Sexy on the outside, batshit crazy on the inside.
Hot Topic just advertised a sale on ass-less chaps.
So the horror of her vazhjeen blew out all the highlights in the photo.
You know how gigantic that thing has to be to create a lens-flare that big?
I’ll give you a hint: Bigger than The Sun orbited by Planet Earth
Heheheh ” vazhjeen”
There is no better spelling for that word. :D
“Exit Only!”
“Bro, you’ve got that remote-controlled vibrating butt plug turned up way-y-y too high…”
“So the first step is left foot pointed forward. Then what, left foot pointed back?”
“Dammit! I forgot to wear a tampon again. Look at my shoes, they’re ruined now!”
She looks fucking amazing in this pic…best photo of her with clothes on that I can remember seeing. (I really did like those SoBe ads she did.)
C’mon, Tyler, you’re giving old hippies like us a bad name.
Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is.
Looks like she fell into a vat of Cheetos. I’m going to go over and lick that stuff off of her…
Elijah, fer fuck sake, you’re 31 years old. It’s time to stop dressing like an 8th grade nerd!
“My last John got me in the eye. It stings like Hell but at least he paid double.”
Here’s Elizabeth Hurley 20 years ago, before she was the ravishing woman she is now. What exactly did she have done to achieve this beauty: nose job? eye brows? caps on her teeth? What…???
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/09/hurley-340_253.jpg[/img]
Holy shit! Look at that butt. Look at those tits. I’m spent just looking at her.
Look at those lips…Hey, imagination, go to bed.
What a fucking letdown. Must be time for bed.
“Hey Steven what time does Lane Bryant open again ?”
his mother still dresses him.
you know his mother- that corpse upstairs in the rocking chair that is always telling him what to do and the proper way to do it.
I am sure that isn’t the biggest thing she has ever had in her mouth.
So that’s why the Lannisters are the richest family in Westeros? They’re Jewish?
Someone should tell her that dying her hair Brigitte Nielsen platinum blonde and getting an Irish tattoo won’t make her white
Is putting “Stiffy” next to your butt crack like designating a parking space?
In an alternate universe, this is what became of Jerry Seinfeld
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Theft and misappropriation of one Marquee.
Mooooooo
I call AIDS !
He’s a khunt
Surely the Sitges Film Festival is in Sitges, the gay capital of Spain, not Madrid.
A simple girl from Basingstoke has more class that Tamara “Spawn of Bernie”
That’s an entire bolt of gold braid trim. Must be a bitch to roll yourself up in. And dizzy.
If you look at the cover for her single then this photo, you will notice her belly button changes positions on her abdomen, clearly photoshopped.
The Cincinnati Reds want their tarp back.
That is the most womanly woman in womanesque curves I’ve seen in this joint. I’m going to print this photo with gummy bear flavored ink so I can lick it for the next couple of weeks.
Incidentally, my vagina also makes me look radiant if you stare right into it.
this album cover is deeply symbolic, most of you probably just don’t appreciate the symbolism
Her lower half is faded out to show her emergence from obscurity, appearing more focused as your eye travels up to her face as her voice is that which defines her
The outstretched arms symbolize her welcome embrace, simultaneously offering her music as a gift to the world and accepting us all as the muse that inspires her
Her white hair shows her reverence for Daenerys Targaryen
The vacanat expression displays her inability to hold a coherent thought
And finally, the full body photoshopping is a clear expression of the fact she’s greasy, fat, and unattractive
And now we know why Seal dumped her
I seem to remember a hippie chick trying this in the Gaza Strip…it didn’t work out so good for her. I hope Daryl is as committed to the cause.
A little baby powder will help with that wetten dass.
i have no idea why, but i was work today at my very boring job and for some reason “McFeely Smackup” popped into my head out of the blue. i must read this shit too often….
Looks like “buy one, get one free” is away of life for her.
“Flesh Tone” is a very nonspecific color
That dress must be really tight to be pushing the silicone out through the pores of her face.
Next he puts on a dress made from Jessica Simpson’s skin…and it’s too big.
I think he’s walking to his own funeral.
I’m RICH BITCH!!!!!!
He nailed the Fred from Scooby Doo look.
He’s the white Michael Strahan.