What do you mean this isn’t an unedited photo of her in the morning? YOU LIE.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you earlier than usual because we have hard, turgid, possibly purple-headed data (No idea why I just made that into a dick joke.) that says most of you have the day off today. So enjoy this random smattering of celebrity schadenfreude which actually has a Final Five that isn’t Rita Rusic or Scotty Pippen’s old lady because Elderly Week ended Friday with our annual “Mmmm, You Take Out Those Dentures” Festival. In fact, it’s Nicole Scherzinger who somehow looks more and more breastacular right down to the fifth shot. Trust me on this one.
Fall back into my arms and I will catch- Ooh, a quarter…
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Another case of not knowing your audience. A marketing consultant would have told her Mila Kunis’ ass would have been much more effective.
Ah…memories.
This photo had to be taken 5 years ago because she hasn’t been that skinny since she had her baby.
no, she looked good in 2010.
Q. How many yards of orange fabric does it take to drape a Kardashian?
A. Moo
hahahahahaha
Please stop posting pictures of this chick. She’s equivalent to Paris Hilton, but without the infamy.
Huh?
Everyone knows the midgets run Hollywood.
“Come on! Look at how he’s dressed! He was practically praying for it!” – Analrapist
butter face.
Why yes, there *is* butter on her face. That’s how she gets the glazed look.
That’s not butter…
You know your Hollywood days are over when Bob the Builder won’t even stop and recognize you.
Mmm, breasty goodness.
Ten hut!
I can only assume she’s going to cover her SUV with that orange tarp to protect it from the sun and bird poop.
Epic high-five in 3…2…1…
Lucky bastard got her before the rest of us.
Showing her bodyguard what she’s got for him later.
How angry could he be, he’s adorable.
He doesn’t get it. It’s no longer an attention getter to tell people you once screwed Madonna.
Ha ha!
Look at Roger Moore’s face underneath.
I thought it was McConaughey again.
Just the thought of having sex with a woman gives him phantom pains where his penis used to be.
He’s not really looking at the chick. He’s still just that pissed off at anyone taking his photo.
take the Michael Jackson collage, throw it in a pot, add a potato. Baby you got a stew goin’!
I see at least 3 cases of workmen’s compensation in the making.
The cuter they look when they are little kid, the creepier they become when they grow up.
Yep, Maculay
The inevitable result of having too much contact with Kate Hudson.
Woof!
it looks like she has no tits and a butt the size of Kansas. isn’t she known for her huge fake tits??? what’s up with that.?
nipples!
She looks like if you took a Gwen Stefani and stuffed it into another Gwen Stefani.
Stefaninception!
I wouldn’t mind getting stuffed into Gwen Stefani. Or this.
You know you are with quite the catch when you see a tattoo of a pair of scissors on their arm.
He’s saving up for the rock and the paper.
thats deadmau5 he cleared over 10 million this year. so yeah, def a catch…
It’d be funny if her boyfriend was an MMA fighter with a jealousy issues and a hair trigger temper.
How To Troll Rita Ora:
1. Buy an egg-salad sandwich from 7-11
2. Leave on the dashboard of your car for several days.
3. Eat the sandwich
4. Drink one gallon of jalapeno nacho cheese
5. Ask Rita Ora to sign your ass
6. Relax your anus and sphincter during the signing
Her recent psychological issues have turned me off her completely.
Recent?
But I hear ya.
Waiting for Tom?
Well…at least it worked for Jared!
When is this country going to finally wake up and abolish games like “Pin The Tail on the Negro”??
And that’s how you tell that the gerbil is working.
“Hey PENIS!”
She knows “The Matrix” was just a movie, right?
Now we know what it takes to make the guy on the left look butch.
Joe realizes they haven’t seen the other Jonas brother since they were on the beach three days ago.
Whoa, what the fuck is wrong with that woman? Shellfish allergy?
Hottest stroke ever.
Ha!
Her nose is fucked up.
Well, that does it! She’s not climbing into my bed with that fucked up beak!
Would not wetten dat dass.
I don’t think the latest celebrity diet trend, known as “blurring out the fat”, is going to catch on.
…at the ‘George Clooney discard bin cocktail party’
When did Kim transplant Heidi Montag’s tits onto her chest???
With Shauna Sand’s manmade nipples.
You think he goes to the barber and says, “Just give the ‘Uncle Pedophile’”?
No, they already know he wants the Neuman.
Reminiscing about the days when ScarJo’s body was that tight.