The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.28.13

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which I’m not going to lie, has basically become a 24 hour Kelly Brook tracker. It’s a fact I’d be way less proud of if I hadn’t convinced myself she thinks stalking is super hot. “Watch me while I shower, Photo Man,” she whispers to me through the radio. We’re in love!

So, there’s also some other people in here. People who don’t have giant breasts that make the sun rise each morning, but I should point them out anyway. There’s John Stamos dressed as Satan, because apparently the devil’s really into giving your mom a boner these days, Vin Diesel’s Facebook post that just guaranteed at least one ticket presale for ‘Fast & Furious 7,’ and Jaden Smith with his posse that gives me a much clearer understanding of jihad.

Are those drop-crotch skinny pants and a beret? *calls tailor in Gettysburg* 42 Long. I’m ready now,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN