“Shucks! Ain’t no one said I look as purty as Jessicker Simpson before.”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Ben Affleck just selling the shit out of being a parent – I’ve already stopped wearing condoms – Kim Kardashian patiently waiting for a black microphone and George Clooney realizing it’s been two weeks, 14 hours and 37 minutes since he’s had sex with a new vagina, so if you could just drop him off at the curb…
You swore to secrecy, Lithgow!
- The Superficial