“Shucks! Ain’t no one said I look as purty as Jessicker Simpson before.”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Ben Affleck just selling the shit out of being a parent – I’ve already stopped wearing condoms – Kim Kardashian patiently waiting for a black microphone and George Clooney realizing it’s been two weeks, 14 hours and 37 minutes since he’s had sex with a new vagina, so if you could just drop him off at the curb…
You swore to secrecy, Lithgow!
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Nick likes a certain type of girl for a wife.
she looks like a piece of watermelon hubba bubba after it’s been chewed.
bahahahahaha
step one: cut a hole in the pumpkin.
Um, please take pumpkin home before step one.
At least get it into the car.
It’s just my dick in a pumpkin… oooooo-ooooooooooohhh, my dick in a pumpkin.
How do you say “I need to pee” in French? Anyone? Seriously I gotta go!
Oui Oui
“J’ai besoin de pisser”
I gotta take a wicked “yes”.
Hello Rosie
What an extremely well dressed toilet.
Well we can all stop wondering why Tom Cruise kept shrinking all these years..
And, you know, the thing about a shark… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.
Someone needs to show this picture to Jennifer Love Hewitt and demonstrate how it works to actually care about your appearance.
the trinity killer hasn’t aged a bit.
When did they start making sexy hospital gowns?
looks like my PC services tech.
Isn’t this the same pumpkin patch that kicked Courtney Stodden and her old man bag out? What is it with has-beens or wanna bes and pumpkins?
No shit! These F-listers are drawn to them like moochelle to paula deen’s cooking.
That’s NOT Courtney Stodden?
Apparently, you never saw the billboard on Santa Monica Boulevard: “Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch: Where Has-Beens and Never-Weres Get Noticed Again.”
Whah da hell ah you?
She’s getting older, she’s married to a doofus, but she still looks hot.
that big vein in her forehead is distracting me from her great ass. It’s an easily solvable problem, but a problem nonetheless.
You can see her ass in this shot? Holy X-Ray vision, Superman!
Did they honestly have to give the costume a moose knuckle?
It’s way too large to be classified a moose knuckle. Looks more like giraffe hoof, or maybe two-toed hippo hoof.
Wow, he looks like a serial killer and the kid looks like Damian. Their parties must be awesome…
Damian was my 1st thought as well… brat looks like he’ll sneak into your bedroom & cut your throat while you sleep
i’d eat that ass like cottage cheese.
Joke’s on us. It’s a publicity shot for her new song “Roll Out the Barrel”
yea, that’s a nice ass.
frump in the trunk.
Wide load coming through.
Oh yeah, this is normal.
with fire.
Cue the Miss Gulch bicycle music.
hooray boobies!
You know, those scarves could get caught in the bike spokes.
It could happen.
we can only hope.
damn it, doctor. get your blood letting equipment, this anticipation boner isn’t going down.
Ice it down Dick. Works every time.
mm, his and her isadora duncan douche scarves. hope n pray ~
uhhhhh, so I gu,,,oh fuck it
Careful honey, it’s still sore from Simon Cowell last night.
I didn’t know Chuck Norris owned a Beatle wig
I thought this was a pic of Dave Grohl
Mandatory ass touching for the cameras-check.
Heinous outfit, right down to the footwear.
Sure is! I volunteer to help her take it off.
even with the hepatitis, she still looks good.
Carmen Electra does not have Hepatitis C. You might be thinking of Pamela Anderson.
I think she’s more interested in it than he is….
even more so if that top comes down, and gravity is definitely taking hold here
Wow, he can read!
He’s confused because that car isn’t talking to him.
+1
So much for my “I miss KITT” line.
I know retards, I work with retards, retards are my friends. Vanessa you’re no retard.
This, this is what a real woman looks like…I only hope my wife is taking notes.
Hello guys. I’m Mr Perkins, Troy’s father.
I know Troy. He’s that cheap guy.
My dad’s not home Mr. Perkins.
Is your mommy here?
[sarcastic] No, actually she’s out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.
No lie, I was just about to write that exact same quote.
Well played Reverend, well played.
(For total geekdom: today and tomorrow are the days over which the story carries itself out, according to the book.)
Its quotes like this that make me happy to be 32 years old instead of 22.
What is this quote from? Oh, and thanks for making me feel left-out, Jen – gosh.
Hell yeah, Jen!
Goonies!
Quickly…. to the room of despair!
If you squeeze the class from all of them, the drop would never be enough to serve a “stay-classy” drink for Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Bend over, insert, walk away
I would wear her ass like a derby hat and walk everywhere showing it off.
Goddamn it. Quit taunting the straight woman. He’s married and he might be gay; that’s a double disqualification from camera flirtation.
Full frontal nudity or GTFO.
What do rednecks to for Halloween?
Pump Kin.
She went to Mr. Bones pumpkin patch because Miss Bones stole her husband.
Solid! +1
+10. I should not have had food in my mouth when I read this.
+1!!! perfect!! LMAO
“Is this tour ever going to end ? My skin is growing into these clothes !”.
damn that mouth has been stretched!
Skeletor?