Welcome to another super-sized Monday installment of The Crap We Missed that we almost couldn’t fit everything into until we lubed it up with Sean Penn‘s hair grease. We’ve also got the awkward moment when Neil Diamond realizes that George Clooney is changing the lyrics to publicly kick Stacy Keibler to the curb, Robert Pattinson broods harder than he’s ever brooded before, Helena Bonham Carter busts out the sweetest rack you’ll ever see on a walking corpse*, Costas Mandylor??, and finally, one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen. Seriously, why not just dangle that kid above the snapping jaws of an alligator, give her a fighting chance.
*Subject to change upon the death/zombie resurrection of Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, Katy Perry…
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Oh look, Rihanna almost naked…how newsworthy
Not pictured: Eric Cartman with lipstick on his hand
Damn it. I gotta get here faster.
I was gonna go with Not pictured: Jennifer Garner giving her best performance to date…
She has her Dad’s face and her mothers bulky rack.
I have the weirdest boner right now.
Damn, why’s she got the brights on during daytime? The running lights would be enough.
Implants. That’s one of the nice side effects.
God I would pump this woman so hard. Like a fucking dog in heat.
When did she become a grandmother?
Ugh…it’s like your mom hugging your grandmother, from behind.
Oh, yaay.
Yikes! No one wants granny lesbian porn!
You’d be surprised.
Now watch me bite that ear off…
Men’s penises swell when they see large breasts. Now we know it also works in reverse.
“Gee your plastic surgery looks terrific.”
Looks like Tim Burton finally put his claymation team on some serious work.
Bai Ling has put on some weight!
“I grew this one from an ear!”
Goot efening.
Holy shit that is funny {¦^D
Me too.
“The Candy Man can, Man!”
I’m not lying, I’d let them double-team me.
So you wouldn’t mind your face and pelvis being pounded into dust ?
Demi Moore & Kelly Osbourne an item?
“Ok Robert…now show me ‘brooding’. uh, could you ‘brood’ more? ok forget it, show me ‘the whole world knows my girlfriend is a whore’…PERFECT!”
Stand back!! Alien crotch about to hatch!
It’s only a matter of time before Melanie Griffith’s plastic surgeon eventually kills someone.
A reverse butter-face. Kinda pretty face with a body that needs some… work.
She’s got a butter-body…a body like she eats a LOT of butter.
butter face.
You’re crazy
Not that crazy. I actually find her face unattractive. LOVE her body though. tight.
Really? That’s too bad, because I just got off the phone with Everyone and they tell me that after spending the night with you last weekend, Everyone missed their period. Looks like you and Everyone are going to spend the rest of your lives together. How do you feel about Everyone now?
Willow is a girl.
Hammier than a bag of radios
Die.
**psst**
“Leo, keep your head down, fucking paps! OHH you bad boy, you! GahHH, stop, stop!”
yo, isn’t this joke the same as 2 of them above you?
“Why does everyone ask me where the chocolate riverboat boards?”
Is that herpes on her lip?
Whatever deal with the devil he and Madonna made, it’s clearly been called due…they’re both withering away like an old gypsy lady cursed “thinner”
Stacy, will you marry me?
*trollface*
Sometimes I’ll do something and I’ll think to myself, “That is so Raven.” And then other times I’ll do stuff and I’ll be like, “That was not very Raven.” This picture is sort-of Raven.
Um, soooo, she’s got elf ears? The fuck?
Her plastic surgery has no made it so that she can only eat if people throw pieces of day-old bread at her duck face.
I know the feeling, dude.
Couple of nice puppies there!
Gazoo!!
Music, huh? That’s fine; he’s failed at everything else.
Music, hell yeah! Now he’s awaiting a scholarship offer as a maestro of playing the comb.
He’s just sad that it’s going to be at least another month that he has to keep pretending to be straight.
Women love to be victims. “He hit me” as she’s running back to spread her legs yet again. She’s got money as a 1 percenter, to hire bodyguards, to get far away etc…so why go back? So she as a libtard can perpetually carry on her victimhood. Libtards are so STUPID!!!!!!!!!
What a logical take on things.
@witandfit, or as we libtards call it, halfwit&unfit…
Question: What kind of a moron equates a picture of Rihanna flashing her high beams to something political?
Answer: Someone whose family and his friend are sick and tired of listening to his bullshit.
Musta seen MItt get throttled in tonight’s debate and developed a shitty attitude.
I don’t mean to give anyone the impression that I give a rat fuck about Rhianna, but I do wish he would die.
You had me at “rats fucking Rhianna” …
The statue is as stiff as his personality.
“What kind of a crap deal?”
I don’t know what she was trying to achieve here, but if it involved getting my attention, it worked.
Sexy as hell!!!
Oh, man. Poor thing. Those thighs.
I knew a chick once who started to get all hippy like this. Told her to get on the stairmaster before it was too late. She ignored me. Now you can park your beer on her hips like you’re at the fuckin’ pub.
I don’t know who she is, but her “performance” must be some heady art because it just looks like a hooker tossing the peace sign to me.
“Hooker? In T-shirt and jorts? White boy, please!” – nearby hooker to McFeely Smackup
I was looking for a nipple before I realized this wasn’t Bai Ling.
Holy shit, that waist.