Welcome to another super-sized Monday installment of The Crap We Missed that we almost couldn’t fit everything into until we lubed it up with Sean Penn‘s hair grease. We’ve also got the awkward moment when Neil Diamond realizes that George Clooney is changing the lyrics to publicly kick Stacy Keibler to the curb, Robert Pattinson broods harder than he’s ever brooded before, Helena Bonham Carter busts out the sweetest rack you’ll ever see on a walking corpse*, Costas Mandylor??, and finally, one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen. Seriously, why not just dangle that kid above the snapping jaws of an alligator, give her a fighting chance.
*Subject to change upon the death/zombie resurrection of Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, Katy Perry…
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Why is he posing next to a Mitt Romney statue?
THIS. IS. NOT. A PEN!
Did her doctor have a “Buy one, get one half-deflated” sale?
Tommy Lee Jones rubbed off on him good..
Look! Look at how much weight I lost! You can only tell by my left ear, though…
I don’t know who this is, but someone’s been messing around in the Jenna Jameson tanning bed again.
Damn, Bai Ling’s gotten fat.
Does this helmet make my chin look big?
Damn, Lindsay stole her colagen again!
Come on, we need to find my other boob!
My baby only eats pre-chewed stuffed animals. What do you say to that, Alicia Silverstone?
Next week Gaga will be wearing that.
Awww, Kelly’s girlfriend is helping her push the cart, how sweet.
Must not inhale. Coffee smell has calories too.
Helena Bonem Carter may have the best zombie cleavege, but Sharon Stone has the best zombie girl-penis!
What are you so happy about? You’ll look like Sharon Stone too.
I would love to see how some of you fucking losers look…quit trying so hard to make a funny.
Will Smiths youngest daughter can’t sing, dance or act.. so they are marrying her off to Mike Tyson.
A little make up goes a long way
Kojack.. Starring Sean Penn.. Who Loves Ya Baby!
Bearding agrees with her. She is gorgeous..
I met a strange man, he came from Brussels. Four foot eight and full of muscles.
Give or take an inch.. How big is Axel?
Jesus Christ.. She used to be so freaking hot.. WTF
What a fucking asshole!
Fairies wear boots
Um… Nursing makes your boobs huge. She’s probably pumping and dumping for the kids sake. The huge Tata’s are a side benefit.
Karl Malden’s nose finally found a new host.
Ermagherd, nerp slerp
Pretty sure she’s sitting on a 16-year-old’s shoulders.
“Should we tell him that’s actually a conceptual statue or E.R. era George Clooney boxing?”
“It wouldn’t matter…”
“Elliooooooooooot!”
I’d hate everyone too if I was her and got my mom’s talent and my dad’s ears.
And Rainbow Brite settles gracelessly into middle age…
Someone needs to report her to the local car wash because she obviously stole some there shit!!