The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.22.12

October 22nd, 2012 // 688 Comments

Welcome to another super-sized Monday installment of The Crap We Missed that we almost couldn’t fit everything into until we lubed it up with Sean Penn‘s hair grease. We’ve also got the awkward moment when Neil Diamond realizes that George Clooney is changing the lyrics to publicly kick Stacy Keibler to the curb, Robert Pattinson broods harder than he’s ever brooded before, Helena Bonham Carter busts out the sweetest rack you’ll ever see on a walking corpse*, Costas Mandylor??, and finally, one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen. Seriously, why not just dangle that kid above the snapping jaws of an alligator, give her a fighting chance.

*Subject to change upon the death/zombie resurrection of Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, Katy Perry

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

 

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Helena Bonham Carter Cleavage BFI London Film Festival Awards
    Scooty3Hooty
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s be honest, these 3rd tier awards ceremonies are purposefully designed to rouse the “talent” from their nests of urine-drenched newspapers and cedar chips and move them along in an orderly and humane manner.

  2. Linda Hogan Brooke Hogan Nick Hogan Graduation From Icon Collective Music School
    Scooty3Hooty
    Commented on this photo:

    Supra job, Nick.

  3. Hilary Duff Cleavage Son Luca
    Scooty3Hooty
    Commented on this photo:

    If this one doesn’t call for the “special tenderizing lotion”, I don’t know what does.

  4. Willow Smith I Hate Everyone Jacket
    Scooty3Hooty
    Commented on this photo:

    In West Philadelphia, everyone hates YOU!

  5. Linda Hogan Brooke Hogan Nick Hogan Graduation From Icon Collective Music School
    Commented on this photo:

    Gentlemen, we can rebuild Linda. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic man. Brooke Hogan will be that man. Better than he was before. Bigger, stronger, faster.

  6. Calista Flockhart Hat Dark Circles Under Eyes
    Scooty3Hooty
    Commented on this photo:

    Relevance factor: -10 Dancing Babies.

  7. Raven Symone Cleavage Secret Of The Wings Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot sauce, the secret is hot sauce. How many did she eat to find that out?

  8. Helena Bonham Carter Cleavage BFI London Film Festival Awards
    skidmark
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess we taught her to keep her mouth shut huh

  9. Nicollette Sheridan Cleavage Legs Slit Dress 26th Anniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball
    skidmark
    Commented on this photo:

    okay, the Angelina needs to stop now.

  10. Jennifer Nicole Lee Nipples See Through Shirt Butt Yoga Pants Eating Soft Pretzel
    AZ
    Commented on this photo:

    those nipples are not right…

  11. Costas Mandylor Red Face
    glam
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he piss himself?

  12. Helena Bonham Carter Cleavage BFI London Film Festival Awards
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Helen Bangher Carter.

  13. Nicollette Sheridan Cleavage Legs Slit Dress 26th Anniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball
    Scooty3Hooty
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, ladies. Here’s proof that the walk of shame can be camouflaged by windows treatments and a classy handbag.

  14. Linda Hogan Brooke Hogan Nick Hogan Graduation From Icon Collective Music School
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Nick’s teacher was overheard saying, “I need to fail Nick like I need a hole in the head.”

  15. Jennifer Nicole Lee Nipples See Through Shirt Butt Yoga Pants Eating Soft Pretzel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stop her! That lady’s trying to steal blueberries! One pair at a time…”

  16. Sean Penn Greasy Hair Lolipop
    Scooty3Hooty
    Commented on this photo:

    I am surprised that this bag is not dripping with the greasy mess of Tijuanan fetuses. I am dying to know , Brawny of Bounty?

  17. Jay Leno Helmet
    skidmark
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess it’s not just his chin that’s big these days

  18. Torrie Wilson Bikini
    skidmark
    Commented on this photo:

    If you wait long enough she’ll pop out a whole litter

  19. Lara Flynn Boyle Bad Facial Surgery
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Now here’s a woman who hasn’t survived the Hollyweird machine intact.

  20. Sean Penn Greasy Hair Lolipop
    Biff
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn…thought Bono lost a couple of pounds and grew a goatee.

  21. Natalie Portman Cleavage Michael Fassbender Red Sunglasses
    Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just before the next take, Natalie took one more look. But it wasn’t a dream. She really did have boobs now! – Ha! That will silence those pesky comments on The Superficial! about a pretty face on a boys body!”

  22. Neil Diamond George Clooney Singing Together 26th Annniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball
    Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    - And that’s why I played the Batman, and not the Joker

  23. Natalie Portman Cleavage Michael Fassbender Red Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    “Portman, quite struggling with me and get in the goddamn oven!”

    • joy

      Disgusting comment. Probably as disgusting as you are.

      • You don’t even know me. This is The Superficial, ya know. I’ve been posting here for years and have seen comments that make this look tame. And I would bet any number of them were posted by you. So in my own defense, try this on for disgusting…SUCK MY DICK, you bull-dyke leather freak!

        PS: I almost forgot…IT’S A FUCKING JOKE!

  24. Neil Diamond George Clooney Singing Together 26th Annniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ya know, Neil, regardless of what they say in the commercials, Certs really IS a breath mint.”

  25. Melanie Griffith Cleavage Hugging Jamie Lee Curtis The Childrens Hospital Los Angeles Gala: Noche de Ninos
    Commented on this photo:

    “See, Melanie, this is what it feels like to have real tits poked into your back!”

  26. Mike Tyson Turtleneck Secret Of The Wings Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, we’re not dating. I’m just having her over for dinner.”

  27. Robert Pattinson Brooding The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    “Constipation always gives me the worst goddamn headaches!”

  28. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and then she started whining “my eye, my eye”….hahaha”

  29. Linda Hogan Brooke Hogan Nick Hogan Graduation From Icon Collective Music School
    Commented on this photo:

    If Brooke would just fill in the Kirk Douglas cleft in her chin, she’d almost be pretty.

  30. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress 26th Annniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    “See-e-e-e-e?…and THAT’S why Georgie likes me so much!”

  31. Jean-Claude Van Damme Statue Of Himself
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yah, zis ist mien own statute. I made it mienselve out of chewing gum und belly-button lint.”

  32. Kelly Clarkson Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeez lady have a sandwich. Seriously, “a” sandwich. No more hoagie six-packs.

  33. Hilary Duff Cleavage Son Luca
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s carrying a little Cossack that’s eating a tiger. Oh sorry…um….ya she’s still fat.

  34. Lana Del Rey Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess she’s better than a handful of baby oil.

  35. Willow Smith I Hate Everyone Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope Brandi is out driving around.

  36. Gerard Butler
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m gonna open a fast food restaurant in Manhattan and instead of hamburgers we’re going to serve haggis. We’ll call it The Haggis-Gaggis & Puke.”

  37. Costas Mandylor Red Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I fucking told him not to use gasoline to light the goddamn BBQ!

  38. Raven Symone Cleavage Secret Of The Wings Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do these tits make my nose look big?”

  39. Ben Affleck Backseat Of Car
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Blake Lively auditioning for her next role.

  40. Jay Leno Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    “I only have to wear my helmet if I’m going to be around solid walls…or tree trunks.”

  41. Lara Flynn Boyle Bad Facial Surgery
    Commented on this photo:

    There was a time when I would have loved for Lara to Boyle my prick, but now I wouldn’t touch her with a fork!

  42. Torrie Wilson Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “You fucking little mongrel, now I’ve got dog shit between my toes!”

  43. Torrie Wilson Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This gal has a cute butt and spectacular legs. I guess wrestling does a body good.

  44. Willow Smith I Hate Everyone Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    You HATE EVERYONE? Try taking a DeLorean cruise back to Selma, Alabama, circa 1955. Tell them How much you hate everyone!

  45. Julianne Hough Butt Tight Dress 26th Annual Carousel Of Hope Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Haven’t seen Julianne Hough in here for a while, and she’s still just as cute as can be! Poor thing is still hanging with that asshole Seacrest, and has yet had the pleasure of experiencing me!

  46. Jennifer Nicole Lee Nipples See Through Shirt Butt Yoga Pants Eating Soft Pretzel
    Commented on this photo:

    Lovely ass. However, she’s not quite as impressive in clothing.

  47. Jennifer Nicole Lee Nipples See Through Shirt Butt Yoga Pants Eating Soft Pretzel
    Commented on this photo:

    Put her next to someone who is bowlegged and they’d spell “Ox.”

  48. Jennifer Nicole Lee Nipples See Through Shirt Butt Yoga Pants Eating Soft Pretzel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, Jennifer, don’t eat that whole pretzel. I’m going to want a snack after I fuck you silly.”

  49. Sean Penn Greasy Hair Lolipop
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes! I still have a shot with Scarlett Johansson

  50. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress 26th Annniversary Carousel Of Hope Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking gorgeous. Hey George, if you don’t want her, send her my way.

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