The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.14.13

October 14th, 2013 // 506 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you a little early because if there’s one thing my Italian heritage has taught me, it’s you don’t rat. Columbus Day is important for some reason. It was either this or commemorate the day we all decided to wear a stupid gold pepper around our necks, so the guy with the slaves and the genocidal tendencies clearly wins there. While I move my family into witness protection (I hit most of the stereotype bases there, right?), enjoy captioning the shit out of Boris Johnson not even pretending he isn’t shit-hammered at a publicity event, Wayne Ponderosa, David Duchovny instantly regretting not wearing his rubber shorts, and a cop spearheading the new Scared Straight program.

Ciao,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Britney Spears Derpface Leather Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Best she’s looked in a while.

  2. Alfonso Ribeiro Derpface Madeo
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not unusual.

  3. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweetie, you really shouldn’t look directly at the whore with no eye protection.

  4. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, well, let’s see it sing while he’s drinking a glass of water!

  5. Britney Spears Derpface Leather Pants
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    And this picture was how I found out that there is definitely at least one KFC in London.

  6. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll be (over here – ouch! resting my – oof! – aging sore -owie! – ) back…

  7. Kate Hudson No Bra Nipples Carrying Son Bingham LAX
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    I love retro pics but why one of Malcolm McDowell tending to an abused child during the filming of Clockwork Orange? Is it his birthday? (gasp!) did he die?

  8. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Pregnant Boobs German Festival
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t speak.
    And if you don’t mind, don’t sing, either.
    Just don’t do anything to ruin this moment.

    • malaka

      its not the singing or speaking.
      its that whining like she is desperate for that vitamin D that gets us coming back for more

  9. Alfonso Ribeiro Derpface Madeo
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    That Silver Spoon is very tarnished.

  10. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn! All these Prince Alberts and me with stainless steel ben wah balls all up in there.”

  11. Gillian Anderson David Duchovny X-Files Panel Comic-Con
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Scully, act casual, third row, fifth from the right…is that “The Truth?”

  12. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Has anyone actually done a DNA test to make sure this isn’t Jazzy Jeff’s kid?

  13. Leah Remini Huge Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha, very funny, who photoshopped Leah Remini’s head on Kevin James’ body?

    What?

    Oooohhhhhh

  14. Leah Remini Huge Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    So does this mean that Kevin James is considered the “Hot Wife” now?

  15. Michael J Fox Shirtless Lounging In Beach Chair
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty gutsy casting decision for “Weekend at Bernies 3″

  16. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a man, baby, YEAH!

  17. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    The girls’ laughs in the background say it all.

    No wait, they don’t.

    DOUCHE IN A SKIRT!

  18. Brandi Glanville Sweaty Butt Crack Yoga Pants Kids Soccer Game
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Teddy! Why were you letting Brandi Glanville give you a useless boner instead of concentrating on the game? Who taught you that?”

    “You did! I learned it from watching you!”

  19. Christina Milian Anarchy Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of reminds me of the dipshit kid that wears a Che Guevara t-shirt as he lounges by the pool at his parent’s country club.

  20. Tom Hiddleston Thor The Dark World Press Conference
    James
    Commented on this photo:

    That guy is such a famewhore! Have you seen his Twitter account? Famewhore

  21. Alfonso Ribeiro Derpface Madeo
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, Alfonso, we’ve all seen you do your Bill Cosby eating a Jell-O puddin’ pop impression a hundred times already.

  22. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Note to sad and chemically imbalanced young people – try not to let the skirt you’re wearing be louder than your cries for an intervention.

  23. Andy Milonakis Double Chin Neon Green Sneakers
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    This person has a gland problem and is 37 years old. As for the stupid clothes, I guess he’s making the most of it. After all, if you could pass yourself off as a kid when you’re an adult, wouldn’t it be fun? Think of the possibilities.

  24. Helena Bonham Carter Dreadlocks Burton And Taylor Screening H.I.F. Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    There wasn’t really a screening of ‘Burton and Taylor’ – a guy was walking his dog found her sleeping in the bushes.

  25. Andy Milonakis Double Chin Neon Green Sneakers
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Chateau Marmont…Hey, isn’t that where John Belushi died after leaving his TV show and a string of unsuccessful movies?

    I swear I have no idea why that popped into my head just now.

  26. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    WEAR SOME PROPER CLOTHES, YOU SILLY LITTLE CUNT!

  27. Michael J Fox Shirtless Lounging In Beach Chair
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    MJF doesn’t have to worry about getting burnt on one side if he falls asleep in the sun… he gradually flips himself over automatically.

  28. Iggy Azalea Huge Butt Tight Pants G-A-Y Heaven Nightclub
    Slappy Magoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Iggy Pop a boner.

  29. Clive Owen Moustache Black Socks White Shoes The Knick Set
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Skinney legs

  30. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘…now, kid, take my gun and aim for the head. You’re a minor – you’ll walk. We won’t have this chance again.’

  31. Andy Milonakis Double Chin Neon Green Sneakers
    Commented on this photo:

    JINKIES!

  32. Alessandra Ambrosio Buttcheeks Miniskirt Chanel Photoshoot
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh Oh. Butt is starting to sag a bit. Look at the crease lines. That’s how it starts. Been there.

  33. Alessandra Ambrosio Buttcheeks Miniskirt Chanel Photoshoot
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep walking. There is nothing to smell here!

  34. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    This whole black microphone thing is starting to get too literal.

  35. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he rapping or fapping!?

  36. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Say hello to my little friend!… Wait, I know it’s around here somewhere…

  37. Alessandra Ambrosio Buttcheeks Miniskirt Chanel Photoshoot
    Commented on this photo:

    how many folds is an ass supposed to have?

  38. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a really confused hobo wondering why he’s there or why he even has to wear this suit.

  39. Tom Hiddleston Thor The Dark World Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    not gay at all

  40. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    NoseRingGirl
    Commented on this photo:

    …the only man I’d have sex with…..

  41. Tom Hiddleston Thor The Dark World Press Conference
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what Jon Hamm feels like every day!

  42. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    anytime a man makes this face, Chris Hansen is contractually obligated to show up.

  43. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait! I changed my mind. This felt a lot better during rehearsals.

  44. Jessica Simpson Double Chin
    Commented on this photo:

    not pictured: Jedi controlling her left hand

  45. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Commented on this photo:

    let’s blow the sperm whale up with dynamite! kABOOM!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAW4mntPM-w

  46. Jessica Simpson Double Chin
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Bring me the head of a pig!… from the rest make me a sandwich.

  47. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst. Jesus costume. Ever.

  48. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Geezes Kriste. I zought zer waz a ton of ugly Mexican maids to bang in Cali-fornia, but zis place is on a whole noda level. I am being exhausting.”

  49. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    - 911, what is your emergency?
    - My grandma accidentally mixed pot in her brownies again and is trying to chase wild dogs she thinks are ninjas off her lawn.

  50. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Commented on this photo:

    How the fuck did Kris Jenner get her phone number in here?

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