The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.14.13

October 14th, 2013 // 506 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you a little early because if there’s one thing my Italian heritage has taught me, it’s you don’t rat. Columbus Day is important for some reason. It was either this or commemorate the day we all decided to wear a stupid gold pepper around our necks, so the guy with the slaves and the genocidal tendencies clearly wins there. While I move my family into witness protection (I hit most of the stereotype bases there, right?), enjoy captioning the shit out of Boris Johnson not even pretending he isn’t shit-hammered at a publicity event, Wayne Ponderosa, David Duchovny instantly regretting not wearing his rubber shorts, and a cop spearheading the new Scared Straight program.

Ciao,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. LeAnn Rimes Eating In-N-Out Burger At Kids Soccer Games
    Commented on this photo:

    LeAnn Rimes, photographed with food? Up is down, black is white.

  2. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Those boots are as close as he’s ever going to get to the Presidency now.

  3. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmmmmmmm. Bacon!

  4. Clive Owen Moustache Black Socks White Shoes The Knick Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know if this is a production that’s been going on for too long, but it seems like he’s been wearing that pedo stache forever.

  5. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, now do the ‘Perv’. Haha, perfect. Thanks!”

  6. Kate Hudson No Bra Nipples Carrying Son Bingham LAX
    Paddy McC
    Commented on this photo:

    That kid is like the plant from Little Shop of Horrors…if she doesn’t stop breast feeding him, it’s going to kill her.

  7. Alfonso Ribeiro Derpface Madeo
    Commented on this photo:

    In addition to the stroke, he also looks jaundiced.

  8. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL…there was a report on Yahoo! that said she lost 40lbs and only had 10 more to go.

    10lbs her ass….she’s looks 40lbs overweight now.

  9. Kate Hudson No Bra Nipples Carrying Son Bingham LAX
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not her kid. She got him from the lost & found after January Jones left her last red carpet.

  10. Terrence Howard Fedora Turtleneck One Night Only Benefit Dolby Theatre
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s running an long-winded, elaborate Black Depp Manifesto.

    • Josephus

      It’s “one night only” because he has to get the outfit back into Depp’s closet before he notices.

  11. Michael J Fox Shirtless Lounging In Beach Chair
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    McFly!!!!!

  12. Ashanti Cleavage LAVO Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    3 weeks ago she was fat gospel singer, now this. WTF?

  13. Tom Hiddleston Thor The Dark World Press Conference
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Like the studio wouldn’t just pay a bunch of Korean kids to lift it.

  14. Christina Milian Anarchy Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    OK. Now I’m an ararchist.

  15. Matthew McConaughey Wife Camila Alves Butt Tight Dress Free Birds Premiere
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Matthew McConaughey married a Kardashian.

  16. Gillian Anderson David Duchovny X-Files Panel Comic-Con
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr. Duchovny, were you surprised to find out that your costar was bisexual? Could you picture her being with other women?

    …Mr. Duchovney?”

  17. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Pregnant Boobs German Festival
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    The only event in the Inland Empire with no jews in attendance.

  18. Gillian Anderson David Duchovny X-Files Panel Comic-Con
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Once again, no, I won’t be your girlfriend. Can we have a question from an audience member who’s actually touched a woman before?

  19. Terrence Howard Fedora Turtleneck One Night Only Benefit Dolby Theatre
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let us pray the pimp’s prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Lord, so she might learn a ho’s place. Amen”

  20. Boris Johnson Drunk Needing Help To Stand Great British Brands Festival Zhuo Zhan Mall Beijing
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    The most sober man named Boris the Chinese have ever seen.

  21. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahaha, haha, hahahaha, hahahaha, haha, hah, hahahaahaha

  22. Jake Gyllenhaal Skinny Weight Loss Nightcrawler Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this movie is going to have a lot more “zhoosh” than “bamf”.

  23. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Not even light can escape a black hole.

  24. Iggy Azalea Huge Butt Tight Pants G-A-Y Heaven Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew she farted cakes, I knew it…!

  25. Gillian Anderson David Duchovny X-Files Panel Comic-Con
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll field this one, David. Yes, he will probably kill himself if he has to hear one more of you call him Fox Mulder.”

  26. Jessica Simpson Double Chin
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is how I got Eric to propose.”

  27. Alessandra Ambrosio Buttcheeks Miniskirt Chanel Photoshoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Cheeky monkey

  28. LeAnn Rimes Eating In-N-Out Burger At Kids Soccer Games
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Better get her back on the heroin before she eats that kid.

  29. Helena Bonham Carter Dreadlocks Burton And Taylor Screening H.I.F. Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    A lovely, crazy lady.

  30. Andy Milonakis Double Chin Neon Green Sneakers
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Pat!

  31. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Slowly turning into that creepy member of Parliament who keeps emailing your kids.

  32. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    Commented on this photo:

    PINK: “Um, guys? Have any of you even HAD heterosexual sex before? I don’t think you understand how this should be working.”

  33. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Bobby Orr was the Best there ever was

  34. Britney Spears Derpface Leather Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Peter Garrett is utterly unimpressed with either Bertnoy or Londyn, mate.

  35. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Commented on this photo:

    Testes, testes..one, two..three?

  36. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure when Jesus was being tortured he wish for his pain to be immortalized on the T-shirts of assholes 2000 years later.

  37. Kate Hudson No Bra Nipples Carrying Son Bingham LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Kid is going to hate her for “Bingham” in a few years.

  38. Terrence Howard Fedora Turtleneck One Night Only Benefit Dolby Theatre
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care if it was only one night, bitch still better have my money!

  39. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    He must be doing Penance for “After Earth.”

  40. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Commented on this photo:

    “And now to bring out my special guest, Justin Beiber!”

  41. Iggy Azalea Huge Butt Tight Pants G-A-Y Heaven Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    That one hell of a performance.

  42. Jessica Simpson Double Chin
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    turkey waddle – check.

  43. Jessica Simpson Double Chin
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the part where she unhinges her jaw and eats a whole chicken.

  44. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t be scared little girl. If that monster breaks loose, my pistol here is full of tranquilizer darts. I promise I’ll put her down before she can hurt anybody.”

  45. Sean Mathias Ian McKellen The Seagull Opening Night Afterparty
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, there goes the stereotype of the gay man who takes good care of himself.

  46. Michael J Fox Shirtless Lounging In Beach Chair
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m surprised they could get one of him in focus.

  47. Christina Milian Anarchy Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    I love anarchy.

  48. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    I see Jaden has his Chris Brown shirt on.

  49. Helena Bonham Carter Dreadlocks Burton And Taylor Screening H.I.F. Film Festival
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry about the dress. I couldn’t find any Victorian graveyards in the Hamptons with no security guard.

  50. Matthew McConaughey Wife Camila Alves Butt Tight Dress Free Birds Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She is beautiful. More of her, please.

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