The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.14.13

October 14th, 2013 // 506 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you a little early because if there’s one thing my Italian heritage has taught me, it’s you don’t rat. Columbus Day is important for some reason. It was either this or commemorate the day we all decided to wear a stupid gold pepper around our necks, so the guy with the slaves and the genocidal tendencies clearly wins there. While I move my family into witness protection (I hit most of the stereotype bases there, right?), enjoy captioning the shit out of Boris Johnson not even pretending he isn’t shit-hammered at a publicity event, Wayne Ponderosa, David Duchovny instantly regretting not wearing his rubber shorts, and a cop spearheading the new Scared Straight program.

Ciao,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Boris Johnson Drunk Needing Help To Stand Great British Brands Festival Zhuo Zhan Mall Beijing
    Kris Jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    SIR! GET YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE!

  2. Leah Remini Huge Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    Might want to start reading Dietnetics

  3. Alessandra Ambrosio Buttcheeks Miniskirt Chanel Photoshoot
    Jessie W
    Commented on this photo:

    cute outfit, unfortunate manly face

    • Yes, what a horrible manly face she has. Every time I see her I have to stop and think, is that a man? A really attractive, supermodel, millionaire man?

  4. Kate Hudson No Bra Nipples Carrying Son Bingham LAX
    fiona p
    Commented on this photo:

    the flattest a**

  5. Jessica Simpson Double Chin
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, and I thought the expression “big enough to choke a horse” was figurative.

  6. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironically, his penis ended up his first platinum song in a decade.

  7. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “Listen kid, when your mommy says, ‘Because Mommy says so, that’s why,’ remember that thing right there.”

  8. Jake Gyllenhaal Skinny Weight Loss Nightcrawler Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Alan Cummings was a much better Nightcrawler than this guy. He doesn’t even have a tail.

  9. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    Security guard: “Yes little girl, the cow does go MOOOOOO”

  10. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck it, I’ll settle for Mexican President.

  11. Kate Hudson No Bra Nipples Carrying Son Bingham LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    A little early, bu t pretty good Joely Madden costume.

  12. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Pregnant Boobs German Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Gwen Stefani’s ample cleavage. Something’s… not quite right with those words.

    • fred

      I feel like this is false advertising. I’m going to put this one in the spank bank, but reluctantly. There better be titties in the next gwen stefani pic or my penis is going to be mad.

  13. Michael J Fox Shirtless Lounging In Beach Chair
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    “Somebody help that man, he’s having a seizure!”

  14. Britney Spears Derpface Leather Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “Were are the french fries? London is in France, right?”

  15. Alessandra Ambrosio Buttcheeks Miniskirt Chanel Photoshoot
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s cute. That dress makes it look like she has no ass.

  16. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    Commented on this photo:

    She seems genuinely concerned with the possibly of “crossing swords”

  17. Leah Remini Huge Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, there’s always “Twerking with the Juggalos”

  18. Clive Owen Moustache Black Socks White Shoes The Knick Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Leaving the aging husk of his old body behind, Sir Mckellen enjoys his new host.

  19. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    Commented on this photo:

    LL re-enactment on Ben Stiller’s zipper scene from “There’s Something About Mary” went over well with the Fresno crowd.

  20. Amy Adams Cleavage Closing Night Gala Presentation Of Her 51st New York Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Sexy ginger.

  21. Kate Hudson No Bra Nipples Carrying Son Bingham LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she the female version of Black Adam? “New 52″ went too far this time.

  22. Ashanti Cleavage LAVO Nightclub
    YadaYada
    Commented on this photo:

    More of her, please! Lookin’ good.

  23. Tom Hiddleston Thor The Dark World Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s awesome. Can do no wrong imo.

  24. Helena Bonham Carter Dreadlocks Burton And Taylor Screening H.I.F. Film Festival
    Yossarian
    Commented on this photo:

    Apart from my old roommate, Ms. Bonham Carter is the only person I’ve ever seen that actually wears clip in dreadlocks. I had thought at the time that they could never look worse. I have been proven incorrect.

  25. LeAnn Rimes Eating In-N-Out Burger At Kids Soccer Games
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironically, in-n-out is exactly what is going to happen to that food.

  26. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Pregnant Boobs German Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Pregnancy is good to her.

  27. Kate Winslet Pregnant Belly Labor Day Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    Touching her stomach with her RIGHT hand… It’s a boy

  28. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Yossarian
    Commented on this photo:

    The facial expressions of every person who has ever had to see him act have been immortalized onto that skirt of his.

  29. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    Commented on this photo:

    Gives new meaning to “3 Musketeers”

  30. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Spanx DASH Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, honey, that’s not Khloe. Khloe’s like six feet tall, and much skinnier.

  31. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    blerg
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody get this kid some help quick. Scientology is not the answer, but somebody needs to let him know the priests aren’t any safer.

  32. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    kushiro
    Commented on this photo:

    Dennis Miller sure got fat.

  33. Leah Remini Huge Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s Leah Remini doing with Kim Kardashians ass?

  34. Tom Hiddleston Thor The Dark World Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    His man hammer is heavy.

  35. Christina Milian Anarchy Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    “Anafchy”? What does that even MEAN?

  36. Gillian Anderson David Duchovny X-Files Panel Comic-Con
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t think about her holding that mic like a penis. Don’t think about her holding that mic like a penis. Don’t think about her holding that mic like a penis.”

  37. Leah Remini Huge Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    Dancing with the cars should be as far as they let her go.

  38. Brandi Glanville Sweaty Butt Crack Yoga Pants Kids Soccer Game
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming up next on Bravo, Real Nice Asses of Beverly Hills

  39. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    Commented on this photo:

    I ain’t no sports expert but I know them ain’t no Reeboks.

  40. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sir, would you bang your daughter?”

  41. Iggy Azalea Huge Butt Tight Pants G-A-Y Heaven Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    One girl… One white cake with cream cheese frosting?

  42. Leah Remini Huge Butt Sweatpants DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ass.

  43. Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Seal Cowboy Boots Reebok Spartan Race
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    VOoa por mi, si quieres vivir.

  44. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha, this is going to get so shopped.

  45. LL Cool J Holding Mic To Crotch The Big Fresno Fair
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    All the crabs in the house say Yeeeeeeaahhh!!

  46. Pink Being Humped By Backup Dancers
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwwww…. penises. Penises touching me.

  47. Jaden Smith Cross Hoodie Drop Crotch Pants
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    If you’re on a life raft with Jaden Smith and Justin Bieber and can only throw one of them off, which would it be?

  48. Amy Adams Cleavage Closing Night Gala Presentation Of Her 51st New York Film Festival
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    And so the slow transformation into Brooke Shields begins.

  49. Gillian Anderson David Duchovny X-Files Panel Comic-Con
    Commented on this photo:

    I totally and absolutely still would. And her, too.

  50. Wayne Gretzky Yellow Tooth 10th Annual Alfred Mann Foundation Gala
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude looks like a drunk Prince Charles.

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