Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which once again lives up to the bloated mess this thing tends to be after a weekend of, how to put this, celebrinanigans? Anyway, today we’ve got Gerard Depardieu really letting loose (*takes bow*) at the premiere of I’m Not Even Going To Pretend To Give A Shit About The Title Of This Movie, Because You Don’t, Bristol Palin wantin’ preggers again, Daryl Hannah letting us know how many more surgeries before the penis is operational, while Arnold Schwarzenegger wisely put a chain on his before a live television appearance, Taylor Swift‘s photo for The Joy Book, the coolest dad in the world, followed by the polar opposite of that, and finally, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
The photo agency literally only had five of these. I call that kismet,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“No, I’m at the salon right now… I’m getting a ‘Brigitte Nielsen.’ It’s been the rage for a few weeks now, and I just read that it could get me laid by Arnold Schwarzenegger.”
Her Cruella De Vil meets the Joker look is just about perfected…
Ey, did you see Bridget in ze park across da street? Ja, I fucked her when she was hot.
“… and that’s what my Spanx said!”
She needs an emergency sex tape.
True. That’s the fastest way to get yourself noticed.
I knew he got in Bieber’s pants!
Hallowe’en is less than a month away!
Not present at Lacey Chabert’s birthday party: Seth MacFarlane, her Family Guy career, the millions of dollars she stood to make had she not been replaced after one season.
“There’s a penny over there, get it!!!”
Check that line on her neck. A Macy’s store is without a mannequin, a latina body is sitting in a dumpster, and the doctor from Human Centipede is screaming “My greatest creation!!!!”
And in a twist no one saw coming Bristol turned slowly and smiled. She’d been posing for those Pippa pictures all along….
“Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in ’83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. “
“Read my lips… I did NOT… have sexual relations with three Italian males… three WHITE Italian males.”
Oh, great, we get a ‘Lacey’ that’s not in porn.
” Don’t tell me to go fuck myself Eastwood…”
Oh look..a bit like a Nicole Kidman but with boobs and real skin.
I guess even The Little Black Dress has it’s limits…
Jump in front of a bus again Mikey?
“IAmHO” – Glad they took the time to label the backdrop, in case the tragic “pay attention to me” pose and skintight dress wasn’t enough for people to realize what we’re dealing with
Christ almighty that must have been some bad bet….
James Bond huh? James Bond would kill you if you made him wear a “His & Hers ” outfit…
Tenth fucking place on American Idol makes you a celebrity? Sure she is a hot tomato and all but what a pathetic claim to fame…
Good thing there is a mirror or you would be turned to stone…
I thought the guy from Blues Traveler had gastric bypass?
Apparently “Patridgeing” is a thing now.
Yes honey, you are. Now sit your ass down.
30?! Why I can remember 15 years ago when I…ah…um…nevermind.
He was once considered the sexiest man in Paris.
“Can you guys wait around for a few minutes so you can take more pictures after I find my baton?”
She should be made to wear a disclaimer banner at all times that says – * Lifestyle results, money, and fame, not typical of knocked up unwed teenagers!
Quasimoto Depardieu
Nice…he takes his mother to a parking lot.
“Hey, young man, I hope what I’m feeling is you admiring my ass and not going for my wallet!”
Not my cup of tea. Or cup of anything, for that matter.
Pia, fucka, sucka, we can do it all…
Looks photo shopped.
Hurry up ladies… I’ve got a turtle head poking out.
She looks exceptional in this shot. Someone needs to talk her into taking (and releasing) more nude shots.
Matt Lauer looks horrified.
She’s still mad at her agent for letting them make her wear that mask through all of Dark Knight Rises
Awww look at him showing off his counting skills again.
If she insists on dressing like a female pee wee herman can we just fast forward to the part where she gets caught masturbating in a porn theater?
What the fuck are they doing, waiting for an ice cream truck to serendipitously drop by?
“Oy, Mummy, there’s a run down, over grown empty lot down the road a bit. Shall we go there and sit in the heat on the off chance something happens?”
Still hot…haters gotta hate.
He thinks her hand is a croissant…a delicious buttery croissant. hmmmm. I must consume it!!
Is that Heidi Fleiss in the background? :P
Ooh scaly. Are they making a Splash sequel?
Say what you want; I would still pound her like it was 1999
Damn straight son.
I would too, if there was a way to guarantee she wouldn’t say anything. I guess I could keep my dick in her mouth, but being Jewish she would probably say, “OhhhhMyyyyyGwoddd…I’m not going to put that filthy thing in my mouth!”
Add me to this list. I would still fuck her hard. She’s still pretty damn hot. Yeah, the voice is annoying but pussy trumps voice.
Oh that was fast…Your move Bristol Palin!
When Charles Goodyear invented vulcanized rubber, do you think this is what he had in mind?