Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which once again lives up to the bloated mess this thing tends to be after a weekend of, how to put this, celebrinanigans? Anyway, today we’ve got Gerard Depardieu really letting loose (*takes bow*) at the premiere of I’m Not Even Going To Pretend To Give A Shit About The Title Of This Movie, Because You Don’t, Bristol Palin wantin’ preggers again, Daryl Hannah letting us know how many more surgeries before the penis is operational, while Arnold Schwarzenegger wisely put a chain on his before a live television appearance, Taylor Swift‘s photo for The Joy Book, the coolest dad in the world, followed by the polar opposite of that, and finally, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
The photo agency literally only had five of these. I call that kismet,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“So yeah I killed him. Where did he get off? Eggshell with Romanian type. Way too pretentious. “
The only way I can reconcile “PTA fundraiser” and “Fred Durst” in my brain is if the PTA is raising money to protect children from Fred Durst.
In unrelated news, my keyboard isn’t drool-proof.
“Hey Daryl, exactly how many movies were you good in?”
“Kill Bill only counts as one.”
Hot and Latin? You never see that!
(Where’s the sarcasm button?)
She forgot to put a dress on over her slip. How embarrassing!
Guess what? NOBODY noticed.
I don’t know what’s turning me on more; the He-Man legs or that white brick wall.
The tagline of this awards night was “Fighting Smog with Smug”.
What do you get when you cross a really old zebra with a lawn flamingo?
Perfect.
“I guess it wahs a tumah.”
“Salma Hayek has tits bigger than you.”
I see they found a token white man for their Facebook tag stunt
For her 50th birthday party, Violet Beauregarde entertained her guests by chewing another piece of Willy Wonka’s Blueberry Dessert Gum.
I get the feeling Jessica Simpson isn’t going like how this pregnancy is going to end up either.
I thought you had to BE A STAR to be on Dancing With the Stars???
Calling it “Flailing with the Nobodys” just didn’t have the same ring to it.
I dunno; I’d be more likely to watch that one.
God, I would be more likely to watch it with that title. At least it’s honest.
Blackbieberitis
Yeah, that’s what Britney Spears said too.
As a check list, I can see why guys think she’s attractive: big boobs, toned legs, blue eyes; but as a package, she doesn’t add up. I’ll stick with Salma for MILFy goodness.
She is all woman from the waist up.
You see Lindsay, a professional actor doesn’t keep the company clothes from the job one’s hired for.
The second baddest Scotsman in the solar system
First one is David Paisley, right?
She has my lap’s full attention.
Any porch will do. Just give me a match.
“Its too big to be a space station…”
This is the man who gave Lindsay Lohan her first penis and her first drink……. simultaneously.
Huh what? I must really have missed something.
“What you all laughin’ at ? I’m a fashion genius !”
Mickey Rourke’s had some excellent work done.
I never thought I’d find an actual visual definition to the phrase “Smarmy Cocksucker”.
Carrying her bag like that, Rachel Weisz is clearly pregnant
Looks like Carmen has gotten a larger size of titty implants. Her one skill seems to be taking off her clothes and showing off her titties & cooter. Too bad that’s going by the wayside as she gets older…
I see Arnie’s charmed his way into Ryan Murphy’s next project.
Laugh all you want, but…. No, wait, don’t. Forget I mentioned it. Please.
He’s a method actor just trying to look like his character Obelix without needing padding or make-up! What else could it be?
If you can fold it, Honey, you need a bra.
Nothing says “movie star”‘ like 2″ gray roots.
Nothing says we’re battling kid’s cancer better than a party in Vegas and a no-lister with misplaced tats.
Ladies!…Start your vibrabrators!!
Her face is 50 shades of orange.
I think she looks great. Maybe you need to calibrate your monitor.
Just because he slept with his Latina maid, does not mean he can pull off the Cholo chain.
oh, it`s bring an ass to work day?!
Peddling your way into the Kennedy clan eh?
Douche Wayne
When you start getting elbow fat, it’s time to put down the fork.
“In other news today, former US president Bill Clinton teaches urban Italians ‘the Shocker’.”
Pumice those heals bitch!
Kim Kardashian: Recognizable only from THIS angle
retard.
Gumby! Pokey!
Real rappers don’t tuck their chains inside their shirt. Or whatever the fuck that is he’s wearing. Real rappers don’t wear whatever the fuck he’s wearing. Ergo, he’s not a real rapper.
Also. DOUCHE!
Geez, is her mouth just always open like that?