The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.30.12

January 30th, 2012 // 628 Comments

In Celine Dion‘s defense, she could be menstruating.

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Amber Heard‘s butt (I won’t be offended if you stop reading after that.), Jon Gosselin not-at-all looking like a man whose girlfriend up and decided to leave him, all the proof of Twilight’s heterosexuality I need to see and some mindfucking for good measure.

Please accept Miranda Kerr below as my apology for the above,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Sofia Vergara SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She is one of those chicks whose hottest look is “distance”.

    I don’t even want to get into what’s going on in her armpit.

    • JesusCan'tHitACurveball

      Al Bundy once scored four times in a single game on that armpit vagina. Show some respect.

  2. Viola Davis SAG Awards
    vgirl
    Commented on this photo:

    They don’t call it SAG or award for no reason.

  3. Billy Ray Cyrus Holding Script Walking Dogs
    Commented on this photo:

    Arm tat, bleach jeans, fucked up hair…yeah, this guy thinks its the 70′s

  4. Channing Tatum
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    At least he’ll know when he caught herpes.

  5. Amber Heard
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a good thing that dress isn’t yellow. Her ass cheeks are so straight and parallel she’d look like the double lines in the middle of the road.

  6. Raffaela Fico Cleavage Italian TV Chiambretti Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I need to see if DirecTV has this channel or at least a channel with this chick on it 24/7

  7. Michael Pitt SAG Awards
    jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwwwww.

  8. Peter Facinelli Lollipop
    vgirl
    Commented on this photo:

    And this is what you do to a sparkly Peen….I mean Lollipop.

  9. Billy Ray Cyrus Holding Script Walking Dogs
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    There are only two male parts in that musical, and he’s no Billy Flynn. Wait, maybe he’s trying out for Ms. Sunshine in drag!

  10. Celine Dion Upskirt Panty Flash
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Jazz and Blues Festival? Celine Dion. WTF? Meanwhile, that thigh would be more appropriate at a place celebrating funk.

  11. Taye Diggs
    Commented on this photo:

    Your stare says “gangsta”, but your wardrobe says “Carlton”.

  12. Justin Bieber Mismatched Rainbow Socks
    Justin
    Commented on this photo:

    Steelers hat 20 dollars, Jean Jacket 40 dollars, rolled up jogging pants 14 dollars….having the balls to wear punky brewster socks priceless

  13. Billy Ray Cyrus Holding Script Walking Dogs
    vgirl
    Commented on this photo:

    Meanwhile, your daughter likes to eat penis cakes……

  14. Celine Dion Upskirt Panty Flash
    hijkmno
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf? she get bit by a shark?

  15. Michelle Williams Christopher Plummer SAG Awards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Ol’ Plumm knows how to do it. You have to grab the arm to keep them from running away.

  16. Jennifer Love Hewitt No Make Up
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Must crystal meth take EVERYONE?

  17. Sophie Turner Tight Minidress
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s this… a surgeon or dentist?

  18. Lea Michele SAG Awards
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    This is that guy from Glee–yes?

  19. Liev Schreiber Naomi Watts Sasha Samuel
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit people! If you don’t know how to use the teleporter pods, STAY OUT OF THEM!

  20. Taye Diggs
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Racist nerds everywhere just instinctively put a hand on their sliderule to make sure it was still there.

  21. Michael Pitt SAG Awards
    Debutante
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks hungover as hell. Great lips though !

  22. Nick Carter
    Commented on this photo:

    …and he ran, he ran so far awaaaayyy…but couldn’t get away (from gay thoughts).

  23. Penelope Ann Miller Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Kill it! Kill it with fire!! uh…but save the titties.

  24. Justin Bieber Mismatched Rainbow Socks
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    France has been sending douches to America for hundreds of years… it’s time we returned the favor,

    BTW, please feel free to keep him.

  25. Amber Heard
    Debutante
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn ! She is Stunning !

  26. Nick Carter
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently he didn’t get the sarcasm when he was told a set of brass knuckles would really compliment his face.

  27. Prince Charles
    Commented on this photo:

    “What is that your highness? I believe they’re called ‘common people’, but no I don’t know what they’re for”

  28. Jennifer Love Hewitt No Make Up
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Was Party of Five on black and white TV?

  29. Lea Michele SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Sigh…if only you could take off her head and put a different one on the body….hell, you know what? Just take off the head, I can work with that.

  30. Channing Tatum
    Commented on this photo:

    I gotta be honest, I truthfully don’t know which one of them is Channing Tatum. I don’t know who that is, and the name is…well, kinda fem.

  31. Rose Byrne
    Commented on this photo:

    why do chicks with no tits wear dresses that showcase their bony sternum? It’s good that they’re comfortable with their bodies, but they should know the rest of us are judging them harshly…very harshly. I’d sooner titty-fuck a cheese grater, and it’d probably feel better.

  32. Penelope Ann Miller Cleavage
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    If I banged her, the teenager inside me would be all like, “Holy shit, you’re fucking the hot chick from the Freshman! I’m so fucking proud of you,” but the little kid inside me would be all like, “Holy shit, you’re fucking Lady Elaine Fairchilde! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

  33. Lea Michele SAG Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder…landing strip or smooth…or merkin?

  34. Michelle Williams Christopher Plummer SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Michelle is going to be coughing dust all night. (I’m assuming she’s also going to blow him)

  35. Michelle Williams Christopher Plummer SAG Awards
    jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s still got it.

  36. Celine Dion Upskirt Panty Flash
    Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    The sea was angry that day, as I sported my shiniest dress and finest cellulite.

  37. Jon Gosselin Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    wait a minute…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…he ate 3 of the kids!!!

  38. Viola Davis SAG Awards
    jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful !

  39. Channing Tatum
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    You ain’t pretty but I’ll grab your tit.

  40. Justin Bieber Mismatched Rainbow Socks
    Commented on this photo:

    Socks that don’t match is not a fashion statement, it’s an “I’ve got an extra chromosome and drool a lot” statement.

  41. Lea Michele SAG Awards
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she goosestepping? See, I *knew* you had to be a Nazi to enjoy watching something as base and grotesque as Glee.

  42. Jennifer Love Hewitt No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks rode hard, and put away dead.

  43. Kid Rock Sweatsuit Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m going to make this official. $1000 bounty for anyone videotaped punching Kid Rock in the face while wearing a t-shirt that says “McFeely Smackup” on it.

    This is not a joke.

  44. Celine Dion Upskirt Panty Flash
    CURIOUS GEORGE
    Commented on this photo:

    “My fart will go ooooonnnn”

  45. Taye Diggs
    Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    He was so close to pulling this off, until he decided “why not sport that pair of baby blue jeans as well”

  46. Rose Byrne
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    When you are this thin, do they charge you for a seat when you fly?

  47. Rose Byrne
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    If you can throw together a cocktail dress with just the cotton from a bottle of aspirin, you should probably eat something. Better yet, everything.

  48. Peter Facinelli Lollipop
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like he’s mesmerized by the bulbous, nearly throbbing, purple head on the pop…glistening with saliva, so shiny he can almost see his hungry face reflected in it. He resists the urge for only an instant before engulfing the slick sweetness with his willing mouth, and he knew satisfaction was only seconds away.

    I’m a little disturbed by how effortlessly that flowed from my keyboard.

  49. Michael Pitt SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I want to punch him so?

  50. Billy Ray Cyrus Holding Script Walking Dogs
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here, Billy Ray has just received the private detective’s one page synopsis of who his daughter is having sex with.

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