In Celine Dion‘s defense, she could be menstruating.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Amber Heard‘s butt (I won’t be offended if you stop reading after that.), Jon Gosselin not-at-all looking like a man whose girlfriend up and decided to leave him, all the proof of Twilight’s heterosexuality I need to see and some mindfucking for good measure.
Please accept Miranda Kerr below as my apology for the above,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
She is one of those chicks whose hottest look is “distance”.
I don’t even want to get into what’s going on in her armpit.
Al Bundy once scored four times in a single game on that armpit vagina. Show some respect.
They don’t call it SAG or award for no reason.
high-five!
Right back at ya! If only I knew how to proof read my own comments.
Arm tat, bleach jeans, fucked up hair…yeah, this guy thinks its the 70′s
Dream on wanker, dream on!
At least he’ll know when he caught herpes.
It’s a good thing that dress isn’t yellow. Her ass cheeks are so straight and parallel she’d look like the double lines in the middle of the road.
Not everything is about you, Kim Kardashian.
I need to see if DirecTV has this channel or at least a channel with this chick on it 24/7
Ewwwwww.
And this is what you do to a sparkly Peen….I mean Lollipop.
There are only two male parts in that musical, and he’s no Billy Flynn. Wait, maybe he’s trying out for Ms. Sunshine in drag!
Hey! Spoiler!
And actually, you’re forgetting Amos. You know, the one you can look right at, walk right by, and never know he’s there.
Jazz and Blues Festival? Celine Dion. WTF? Meanwhile, that thigh would be more appropriate at a place celebrating funk.
Your stare says “gangsta”, but your wardrobe says “Carlton”.
awesome
I’d let him slide…
Steelers hat 20 dollars, Jean Jacket 40 dollars, rolled up jogging pants 14 dollars….having the balls to wear punky brewster socks priceless
and I wear it all if it meant poking Selena Gomez
Meanwhile, your daughter likes to eat penis cakes……
One word too many.
wtf? she get bit by a shark?
Ol’ Plumm knows how to do it. You have to grab the arm to keep them from running away.
Must crystal meth take EVERYONE?
Who’s this… a surgeon or dentist?
It’s a mirage…she’s a man.
She’s a rocker scientist.
Would you believe a lawyer?
This is that guy from Glee–yes?
Dammit people! If you don’t know how to use the teleporter pods, STAY OUT OF THEM!
Racist nerds everywhere just instinctively put a hand on their sliderule to make sure it was still there.
He looks hungover as hell. Great lips though !
his lips creep me out
…and he ran, he ran so far awaaaayyy…but couldn’t get away (from gay thoughts).
Kill it! Kill it with fire!! uh…but save the titties.
Does silicone even burn?
France has been sending douches to America for hundreds of years… it’s time we returned the favor,
BTW, please feel free to keep him.
Damn ! She is Stunning !
Yep, beautiful view too.
Apparently he didn’t get the sarcasm when he was told a set of brass knuckles would really compliment his face.
I lol’d
OMG! hahahahah!
“What is that your highness? I believe they’re called ‘common people’, but no I don’t know what they’re for”
Was Party of Five on black and white TV?
Sigh…if only you could take off her head and put a different one on the body….hell, you know what? Just take off the head, I can work with that.
Screamed aloud. ELOHEL
I gotta be honest, I truthfully don’t know which one of them is Channing Tatum. I don’t know who that is, and the name is…well, kinda fem.
why do chicks with no tits wear dresses that showcase their bony sternum? It’s good that they’re comfortable with their bodies, but they should know the rest of us are judging them harshly…very harshly. I’d sooner titty-fuck a cheese grater, and it’d probably feel better.
They’re showing off the fact that they don’t HAVE to wear a thunderous big breast hoist contraption.
Yup, what Cock Dr. said.
Great for them…but that’s a little like a dude wearing skin tight speedo’s to show off that his tiny package doesn’t need additional support.
If I banged her, the teenager inside me would be all like, “Holy shit, you’re fucking the hot chick from the Freshman! I’m so fucking proud of you,” but the little kid inside me would be all like, “Holy shit, you’re fucking Lady Elaine Fairchilde! What the fuck is wrong with you!”
I wonder…landing strip or smooth…or merkin?
Michelle is going to be coughing dust all night. (I’m assuming she’s also going to blow him)
He’s still got it.
The sea was angry that day, as I sported my shiniest dress and finest cellulite.
Like an old man sending back poutine at a café.
wait a minute…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…he ate 3 of the kids!!!
Beautiful !
You ain’t pretty but I’ll grab your tit.
Socks that don’t match is not a fashion statement, it’s an “I’ve got an extra chromosome and drool a lot” statement.
Is she goosestepping? See, I *knew* you had to be a Nazi to enjoy watching something as base and grotesque as Glee.
she looks rode hard, and put away dead.
I LOLed.
I’m going to make this official. $1000 bounty for anyone videotaped punching Kid Rock in the face while wearing a t-shirt that says “McFeely Smackup” on it.
This is not a joke.
I’d do it if you offered to cover the cost of my legal defense.
You can spend the grand anyway you like.
But come on…you know damn well you’ll pull in 10x the actual fees in donations from your loving fans. Do it CC, we’ll both be famous!
Does it have to be a T-shirt? Can I paint it on my stomach, “Soy Bomb”-style?
Punch in the face is easy, getting him to put the fucking shirt on is going to a hell bitch of an afternoon.
“My fart will go ooooonnnn”
He was so close to pulling this off, until he decided “why not sport that pair of baby blue jeans as well”
When you are this thin, do they charge you for a seat when you fly?
If you can throw together a cocktail dress with just the cotton from a bottle of aspirin, you should probably eat something. Better yet, everything.
It’s like he’s mesmerized by the bulbous, nearly throbbing, purple head on the pop…glistening with saliva, so shiny he can almost see his hungry face reflected in it. He resists the urge for only an instant before engulfing the slick sweetness with his willing mouth, and he knew satisfaction was only seconds away.
I’m a little disturbed by how effortlessly that flowed from my keyboard.
So am I.
Wow that has Twilight fan fiction written all over it.
no truer statements were ever uttered.
You’re gay
well, I admit I’m a little curious…
Why do I want to punch him so?
the air of eaux-de-douch wafting from the picture I suppose
Seen here, Billy Ray has just received the private detective’s one page synopsis of who his daughter is having sex with.
and on the opposite page who his wife is having sex with.