The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.28.13

January 28th, 2013 // 453 Comments

Welcome to another post awards-ceremony-packed-weekend edition of The Crap We Missed, which of course means it will include anyone who looked confusingly hot and weird at the same time, awesomely inappropriately groped someone and/or something, or just showed up with his top bitch. As for those not invited to the fancy awards shows, we’ve got Leonardo DiCaprio demonstrating how supermodel vagina gives you mutant abilities, Denzel Washington totally fucking up at oogling the Laker girls’ asses, and Miranda Kerr inventing the optical illusion boner.

It’s like one of those 3-D paintings, only if you stare hard enough at her, instead of seeing an object, Orlando Bloom dies in a fire,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Maggie Q Naked Body Paint Peta Ad
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny.
    The Middle East is right where her armpit is.

  2. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who’s the bitch?? That’s what I thought!”

  3. Steven Tyler Scarf No Shirt Under Vest
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen prettier crucifixions

  4. Russell Simmons Hana Nitsche 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “….Dussell….dis deroin dis do ducking dood….”

  5. Dick Van Dyke Fondling SAG Awards Statue
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Anne Hathaway should hire him.

  6. Jaden Smith Stupid Clothes Justin Bieber Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’M INNOCENT!”

  7. JWoww Cleavage Sports Bra Abs Instagram
    SpareClownParts
    Commented on this photo:

    That face…..

  8. JWoww Cleavage Sports Bra Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, you almost can’t see the fungus.

  9. Jessica Alba Cleavage 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Unimpressed
    Commented on this photo:

    I sees meh sum strech marks onna left titeh.
    Or shadows I suppose, but eh.

  10. Matthew McConaughey Gaining Weight Back
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    A tall drink of water……………….and Matthew McConaghey

  11. Steven Tyler Scarf No Shirt Under Vest
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine what he would look like if he wasn’t sober.

    …really makes me want to quit drinking

  12. Arnold Schwarzenegger Putting On Leather Gloves
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those O.J. gloves?

  13. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Butt Grab 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually superglued his hand there as soon as he got backstage.

  14. Amanda Seyfried 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    If an elf and a pumpkin had a kid….

  15. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Tight Ripped Minidress
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I approve of this photo.

  16. JWoww Cleavage Sports Bra Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently its tough to tuck that much penis.

  17. Julia Stiles Moon Face Cleavage SAG Awards
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    And plenty of substance too

  18. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking stewardesses even expect me to carry my own luggage now. I’M ALEC FUCKING BALDWIN, DAMMIT!!!!

  19. Kim Kardashian Fluffy Feather Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim,
    Once again, it looks like you are simply ENJOYING the small miracles of motherhood. Knowing another person is inside of your belly, expanding it and the neighboring ass, legs, double-chin, etc is just one of the many day-to-day JOYS of conception, isn’t it Kim?!?

    Kim??

  20. Kaley Cuoco Cleavage Huge Bangs SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy fuck I thought this was Dolly Parton

  21. Sarah Hyland Cleavage Sofia Vergara SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s it, little one. You just keep you mouth shut and let me do the talking and your dog is going to be just fine…

  22. Nicole Minetti Cleavage 28th Birthday Celebration Loris Bossalini
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Was she born in a leap year?

  23. Arnold Schwarzenegger Putting On Leather Gloves
    DivorceSettlement
    Commented on this photo:

    eef deh gluf does not feet dey ‘ave to ackw… ekw… dey ‘ave to let me goh.

  24. Shy'm Nipple See Through Dress NRJ Music Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think they ever used Shy’ms like that on ‘”This Old House”.

  25. Jessenia Vice Cleavage Minidress Smoking Hooka
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank god! Looks like Steve-O is back on the booze again! Finally, we’ll get some decent Jackass movies—or a horrible murder/suicide–one of those.

  26. Kaley Cuoco Cleavage Huge Bangs SAG Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bad Kaley. Bad!”

  27. Busy Philipps Tight Dress Pregnant SAG Awards
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    Busy indeed apparently

  28. Julia Stiles Moon Face Cleavage SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    (……Jennifer Carpenter, the fucking bitch……..She must think she’s so FUCKING SPECIAL wearing a dress like that. “OH, LOOK AT ME, I EAT JUNK FOOD AND DRINK SODA ALL FUCKING DAY!” ………I hope you enjoy getting used to missionary position again, Michael….)

  29. Christina Milian Nipple Slip Wardrobe Malfunction Swimsuit
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs to hit the gym.

  30. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Tight Ripped Minidress
    ThisHookerDon'tRun
    Commented on this photo:

    America! Fuck yeah!

  31. Arnold Schwarzenegger Putting On Leather Gloves
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom Brady can’t wait for his examination!

  32. Busy Philipps Tight Dress Pregnant SAG Awards
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s sweatin’ for two

  33. Jessenia Vice Cleavage Minidress Smoking Hooka
    Sparky
    Commented on this photo:

    hip hop model. hilarious.

  34. Jessenia Vice Cleavage Minidress Smoking Hooka
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know blow-up dolls smoked hookah.

  35. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Tight Ripped Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hold me up, I feel faint. I think that sesame seed from 5 hours ago is wearing off.”

  36. Scott Bakula 19th Annual SAG Awards Behind The Scenes Set Up
    Commented on this photo:

    SCAR FACE

    30 ROCK

  37. Amanda Seyfried 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    She lives in the same state I do. For that, hats off!

  38. Maggie Q Naked Body Paint Peta Ad
    crikey
    Commented on this photo:

    So the NorthPole is uninhabited (as is stypical, being a spokesperson for PETA) and the South is the most frigid place on earth?
    Looks like the tropic of cancer did some damage to both sides of the Atlantic and Australia is just one big cornhole

  39. Dick Van Dyke Fondling SAG Awards Statue
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now turn your head and cough.”

  40. Christina Milian Nipple Slip Wardrobe Malfunction Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Full on. Titty.

  41. Miley Cyrus Cleavage Cosmo Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Cosmo is a piece of shit. In related news, she’s never faked anything? Except her singing, in fact just calling her a singer is a lie.

  42. Dick Van Dyke Fondling SAG Awards Statue
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this man. He’s a legend.

  43. Nicole Minetti Cleavage 28th Birthday Celebration Loris Bossalini
    Commented on this photo:

    I just google searched this girl and every fucking picture of her looks different from the other.
    But id still hit it.

  44. Christina Milian Nipple Slip Wardrobe Malfunction Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole.

  45. JWoww Cleavage Sports Bra Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    The body is great, but that personality means I wouldn’t touch her with a 10 foot pole.

  46. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Butt Grab 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought she was the one trained in Kung Fu. Ben’s got a kung fu grip on that ass.

  47. Amanda Seyfried 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah baby. She’s fucking hot!

  48. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas
    Commented on this photo:

    Way to pull your weight Hilaria.

  49. Russell Simmons Hana Nitsche 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s been banging her for more than two months now, does that qualify her for a green card?

  50. Sarah Hyland Cleavage Sofia Vergara SAG Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I know who I’d start a family with. Sarah.

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