The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.28.13

January 28th, 2013 // 453 Comments

Welcome to another post awards-ceremony-packed-weekend edition of The Crap We Missed, which of course means it will include anyone who looked confusingly hot and weird at the same time, awesomely inappropriately groped someone and/or something, or just showed up with his top bitch. As for those not invited to the fancy awards shows, we’ve got Leonardo DiCaprio demonstrating how supermodel vagina gives you mutant abilities, Denzel Washington totally fucking up at oogling the Laker girls’ asses, and Miranda Kerr inventing the optical illusion boner.

It’s like one of those 3-D paintings, only if you stare hard enough at her, instead of seeing an object, Orlando Bloom dies in a fire,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Fluffy Feather Skirt
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Suitable that someone with a giant ass would be dressed like a giant roll of toilet paper.

  2. Jessenia Vice Cleavage Minidress Smoking Hooka
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember back when hip-hop models were just called bitches.

  3. Denzel Washington Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thunder down under…I smell anal leakage”.

  4. Kaley Cuoco Cleavage Huge Bangs SAG Awards
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Plastic surgery really paid off for Dolly Parton.

  5. Dick Van Dyke Fondling SAG Awards Statue
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Have you thought about fixing the gallery?

  6. Kim Kardashian Fluffy Feather Skirt
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    AFLAC.

  7. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Butt Grab 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s either his wife’s name or Jennifer Lawrence’s phone number written on his hand.

  8. Kaley Cuoco Cleavage Huge Bangs SAG Awards
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Her head looks like a fountain of blonde.

  9. Matthew McConaughey Gaining Weight Back
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    i guess losing all that weight for a movie came back to bite him in the ass. he still looks like shit and i think he fucked his system up.

  10. Julia Stiles Moon Face Cleavage SAG Awards
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    I haven’t seen Wilson since Cast Away.

  11. Steven Tyler Scarf No Shirt Under Vest
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never wished my grandmother dead as much as I am right now.

  12. Busy Philipps Tight Dress Pregnant SAG Awards
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    With the baby bump and all, that’s one hell of a convincing tranny.

  13. Scott Bakula 19th Annual SAG Awards Behind The Scenes Set Up
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    quantum leap – best show ever

  14. JWoww Cleavage Sports Bra Abs Instagram
    Dr. Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t her belly button be higher?

  15. Julia Stiles Moon Face Cleavage SAG Awards
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    *sigh*

  16. Sarah Hyland Cleavage Sofia Vergara SAG Awards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If I had to guess which one already used the trophy as a dildo, I’d take…

  17. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Tight Ripped Minidress
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    if they were suddenly transported to Afganistan the Taliban would be gleefully polishing their rocks (not cocks) to stone these women to death.

  18. Maggie Q Naked Body Paint Peta Ad
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what the answer is, I just want to know they studied how much methane a cow produced compared with a farting bean eater.

  19. Jaden Smith Stupid Clothes Justin Bieber Concert
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    i just hate this kid. over priviliged little asshole who needs his ass kicked big time.

  20. Miley Cyrus Cleavage Cosmo Cover
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess you can’t fake your sexual orientation if you aren’t sure what it is yet . . . but kudos to Miley for finally answering the foremost question on her mind, “What would I look like as a young Ellen DeGeneres?”.

  21. Matthew McConaughey Gaining Weight Back
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s looking less AIDsy.

  22. Kaley Cuoco Cleavage Huge Bangs SAG Awards
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    i hope that’s a wig and she never, ever wears it again.

  23. Russell Simmons Hana Nitsche 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘God I’m dead’ – Nitsche

  24. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Butt Grab 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He married the right Jennifer.

  25. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Butt Grab 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    WTF
    Commented on this photo:

    I zoomed in on his hand and it says:
    1) Grocery store for more diapers
    2) Don’t bang Blake Lively

  26. Dick Van Dyke Fondling SAG Awards Statue
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Chim chim cher-root!”

  27. Jaden Smith Stupid Clothes Justin Bieber Concert
    poppymoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we sure sex didn’t swear off her?

  28. Cameron Diaz Tired Hood Up Covering Face
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s only 40. The lone possible excuse is that A-Rod’s dick infected her.

  29. Scott Bakula 19th Annual SAG Awards Behind The Scenes Set Up
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    Soooooo…Is this like when we watch the show we see him, but when he goes to a mirror, its actually Tina?

  30. Steven Tyler Scarf No Shirt Under Vest
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    At least wear a bra you ugly bitch.

  31. Miley Cyrus Cleavage Cosmo Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    If given the opportunity, I would find new and perverse acts that would inevitably leave her unsatisfied all day long.

    ALL. DAY. LONG.

  32. Shy'm Nipple See Through Dress NRJ Music Awards
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    Shy’t

  33. Brooke Shields Fake Teeth Garden of Laughs Comedy Benefit
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like an alligator. I think it’s the dead eyes.

  34. Christina Milian Nipple Slip Wardrobe Malfunction Swimsuit
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s a titty.

  35. Russell Simmons Hana Nitsche 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    So, she’s cheating on him with Chris Brown?

  36. Jessica Alba Cleavage 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    you guys must like weird brows and dead eyes. she has decent features but she’s nothing special. yawn.

  37. Scott Bakula 19th Annual SAG Awards Behind The Scenes Set Up
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I asked to see people who remembered when he was a star. This isn’t quite what I meant.

  38. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Butt Grab 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ladies, I won an Emmy, so I dont have to photos anymore.”

  39. Steven Tyler Scarf No Shirt Under Vest
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa, someone has really got to get some help for Paz De La Huerta… this has gone too far.

  40. Elizabeth Berkley
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Black is still slimming, right?

  41. Jaden Smith Stupid Clothes Justin Bieber Concert
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I always like to imagine he’s just seen a lion

  42. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas
    Commented on this photo:

    Alec,
    I guess fame and money can buy you anything. Like a high maintenance bitch!

  43. Kim Kardashian Fluffy Feather Skirt
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    All that TP will come in handy later. Hope it’s extra absorbent.

  44. Russell Simmons Hana Nitsche 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    every neegar must wear ny cap. its a must, how original

    • at least he took the tags off his. wtf do people wear hats with the tags dangling off them, all the stickers still on? and by ‘people’ of course I mean black people.

  45. Cameron Diaz Tired Hood Up Covering Face
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    courtney love

  46. Elizabeth Berkley
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m sooo excited. i just can’t fight it!!

  47. Shy'm Nipple See Through Dress NRJ Music Awards
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuc’her

  48. Arnold Schwarzenegger Putting On Leather Gloves
    Commented on this photo:

    “Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?”
    “That’s right, Matrix! You did!”
    ” I lied. “

  49. Kim Kardashian Fluffy Feather Skirt
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    i hate you pig. die!

  50. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Butt Grab 24th Annual Producers Guild Awards
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    Argo fuck yourselves, ladies!

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