The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.27.14

January 27th, 2014 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ve got a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger at something called ‘The White Sausage Party,’ so if I’m not bending the universe to serve my own whims at this point, I really have no explanation for reality anymore. (Or maybe I just need to stop watching True Detective.) Anyway, this thing is packed with more Grammys leftovers, which I was trying to avoid until my now all-powerful subconscious mind conjured Diddy‘s cocaine concierge mugging for the paparazzi. From there I just let it flow through me and that’s when I made Jessica Alba hump her defenseless child’s head, because there’s no stopping me now, your defenses are useless.

*focuses brain on hispter Amish Michael K. Williams* And it shall be done,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Anjelica Huston Anjelica Huston Scarf Chateau Marmont
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Its Anjelica Huston before and after pic.

  2. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad truth:
    This is the closest to normal he has looked in years.

  3. Maria Shriver Crazy Face Chateau Marmont
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    The breasts say female, but the eyebrows say evil bloodsucking creature of the night.

  4. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Deedee, where are ze tigers, Ve haf a show to do.”

  5. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Butt Thong Tiger Swimsuit
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason, my fucked up brain processes that as a tiger exploding out of her ass.

  6. Anjelica Huston Anjelica Huston Scarf Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    The melting face, and the scarf … I know I’ve seen this before. Ah, the checkpoint on Mars in Total Recall.

  7. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn it’s the crypt keeper and his latest victim.

  8. 50 Cent Jets Hat Knicks Game
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Fiddy Cent to Enterprise…Yo, Scotty, beam my ass up, a’ight?

  9. Larry King Young Wife Shawn King Group Of Young Hispanic Guys 1 OAK Nightclub
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    How YOU doin’?

  10. Larry King Young Wife Shawn King Group Of Young Hispanic Guys 1 OAK Nightclub
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    Bravo’s newest TV series : Real Housewives of the Walking Dead.

  11. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m Horatio J HooDoo, reporting for Film On TV

  12. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    Desperate for a box office hit, Hollywood producers come up with the unlikely romantic comedy: “When Smeagol met Morticia.”

  13. Tobey Maguire Scruffy Looking Friend
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Pete, I don’t feel so good.

    Quite Flash. My spider senses tell me there’s a robber coming for my purse.

    Maybe if I puke in it, the robber won’t take it.

  14. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    The offspring from the unholy union of Fabio and George Hamilton.

  15. Dolly Parton Cleavage 2nd Night Of 2014 Blue Smoke World Tour Star Of The Desert Arena Inside Buffalo Bills Hotel And Casino
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    At what point do you stop looking like the real thing and more like an impersonator?

  16. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now is ze time on Sausach vhen ve dance!”

  17. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    I don;t even understand how Scott can stand this bitch. Now that is saying something but she is truly despicable.

  18. Rascal Flatts Fat Weight Gain 99.9 Kiss Country Chili CookOff
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    I need a Ho-Ho

  19. Michael K Williams Flat Brim Hat Leather Pants Long Shirt 1 OAK Nightclub
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    OAK? I thought they said Oats!

  20. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Fabio’s half-albino brother

  21. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretzel – Weiner -Snake : the gateway drug to forbidden ….. Geez who cares. He’s old and in the fuckin’ in the way.

  22. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not a party til the weiners come out!

  23. Reese Witherspoon Daughter Haven
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your Daddy ain’t got dick enough to pee on a tree, so I guess somebody has to teach you how.”

  24. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    They must have caught Jaden off guard. He’s only got the 2nd stupidest look on a face I’ve ever seen.

  25. Lady Gaga Saggy Side Boob MusiCares Person Of The Year Honoring Carole King Event
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZ,,,,,,,,,wake me up when this trick’s over and done.

  26. Pierce Brosnan Leather Gloves Survivor Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pound. Several Pounds. In the belly. No, it’s not a damned joke. I’m stuck in this fucking coat that’s too tight, and even the fuckin’ explodo deice that fuckin’ Q gave me does nothing but give me gas. Now release this thing or the city of D.C. goes up with me. Get it”?

  27. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    That isn’t a drag queen, that’s just a man in a dress and bad wig.

  28. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    greenmeanie
    Commented on this photo:

    I just don’t get it with this one. She always looks like Drag-Queen J.Lo. She’s got to be one of those people who look better in person.

  29. Pierce Brosnan Leather Gloves Survivor Set
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    Our Survivor is nowhere near that sophisticated.

  30. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    So grateful that I was safely at home when I first laid eyes on…this.

  31. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah be back! I forgaht ze mustard.

  32. Rihanna Cleavage Bikini Stuffed Tiger Instagram
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    Rihanna has a big, ferocious pussy that will devour anyone that comes near it. And a tiger – she also has a tiger.

  33. John Malkovich Short Pants Miami Heat Game Courtside
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    I have those exact same shoes. He must have tiny feet to fit in women’s sizes. I thought they were cuter than that too.Geez.

  34. Lady Gaga Saggy Side Boob MusiCares Person Of The Year Honoring Carole King Event
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing Gwen Stafani’s hair, makeup, sunglasses, etc from about five years ago. Does this mean she’s gonna start stealing her music and leave Madonna alone for a while?

  35. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    That might be a man. She’s got shoulders like Dwight Howard.

  36. Ron Jeremy Old Face Looking Like Shit 1 OAK Nightclub
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, he’s old. Yeah, he’s washed up. Sure, he looks like a molester. Even Farrah Abraham doesn’t want to be seen with him. But before you get to feeling all superior and pitying him…

    Still has an eleven inch cock.

  37. George Clooney Tomorrowland
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he just sharted himself and is not sure of his next move.

  38. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s that dude from the Crying Game.

  39. John Malkovich Short Pants Miami Heat Game Courtside
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s…not…a…purse. It’s…a…satchel. Indiana…Jones…wears…one.”

  40. George Clooney Tomorrowland
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn you, Flomax”

  41. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she just mainlining it? A 4lb bag lasts me a couple months.
    Fat Mama June needs to cut back, and stop buying those damn plastic containers.

  42. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    Future photo of Honey Boo Boo.

  43. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember that movie where Jaden was stranded with his dad on a planet. And it was earth, and it was devastated. It was so bad no one could live there anymore. So anyway, it was just Jaden and Will, no one else – literally the only ones on the entire planet – and the earth was destroyed.

    I don’t know – it just sounds like a pretty good tradeoff right now.

  44. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe if there’s any sugar left after dinner she’ll use it to make a scrub to get rid of the neck crust.

  45. Rihanna Cleavage Bikini Stuffed Tiger Instagram
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    “You saved us from the tiger! Thanks Medusa!”

  46. David Boreanaz Promoting Wifes Nail Polish 37th Flyers Wives Carnival
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still hit it.

  47. Brooke Hogan Butt Tight Skirt Man Jaw Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    She was at the Grammy’s? Did she win?

  48. Larry King Young Wife Shawn King Group Of Young Hispanic Guys 1 OAK Nightclub
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello? CNN? I’m I on the air? BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY!!”

  49. Gavin Rossdale Holding Tiny Dog Blond Streaks In Long Greasy Hair
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    Gwen’s so much better than this asshole.Who screws around on Gwen Steffani?

  50. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanna declare Jihad on her lady parts.

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