The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.27.14

January 27th, 2014 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ve got a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger at something called ‘The White Sausage Party,’ so if I’m not bending the universe to serve my own whims at this point, I really have no explanation for reality anymore. (Or maybe I just need to stop watching True Detective.) Anyway, this thing is packed with more Grammys leftovers, which I was trying to avoid until my now all-powerful subconscious mind conjured Diddy‘s cocaine concierge mugging for the paparazzi. From there I just let it flow through me and that’s when I made Jessica Alba hump her defenseless child’s head, because there’s no stopping me now, your defenses are useless.

*focuses brain on hispter Amish Michael K. Williams* And it shall be done,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Commented on this photo:

    They should drop her off on a remote beach in Alaska and film her getting gang raped by a herd of elephant seals.

  2. David Boreanaz Promoting Wifes Nail Polish 37th Flyers Wives Carnival
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not blood Angel…

  3. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Get some sleep.

  4. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    chilepie
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s the prettiest Kardashian! That’s why she has the hottest man ;)

    • Scott Disick is the hottest Kardashian man. That’s like saying Moe was the smartest Stooge.

    • *cough cough* brokest man. Most unemployed man. Most possibly gay man well okay no Kanye probably still has that one.

      • me

        Most SMARTEST man! He hit pay dirt with this skank and you can see he clearly gives two shits about her and he’s always letting her down on the show…but she has his kid so she’s stuck with him/paying for him. One day she’ll grow tired of wearing the pants in the relationship, yearn for a REAL man that REALLY loves her and she’ll dump the guy. You know he’s only good to her because he HAS to be…I know, I’m with an annoying, controlling bitch right now but she has mad cash so I have to force myself every now and then to pretend I love her…these chicks are so easily fooled

  5. David Boreanaz Promoting Wifes Nail Polish 37th Flyers Wives Carnival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Roofies….for when she wont just shut the fuck up.”

  6. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    nice tits. HORRIBLE lack of a soul.

  7. Larry King Young Wife Shawn King Group Of Young Hispanic Guys 1 OAK Nightclub
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Listen, Damn it! I’m Larry King! I’ve got a wax wife standing next to me and a brown kid from one of those sand countries to shake my penis. You’ll do what I say!”

    “Mr. King, you’re speaking into your collar.”

    “We’ll be right back after this diaper change…”

  8. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    Life’s not fair

  9. Brooke Hogan Butt Tight Skirt Man Jaw Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo BY: the Hulkster, brutha!

  10. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF.

  11. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    However much the photographer got paid for this, it wasn’t enough.

  12. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like Corey is wearing a Corey mask.

  13. Brooke Hogan Butt Tight Skirt Man Jaw Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    I was reading an article recently on the adverse affects of steroid use for women. One woman got facial hair, and her pleasure button became so enlarged that it turned into a small penis. I can’t for the life of me figure out why this picture made me think of that story.

  14. Rihanna Cleavage Bikini Stuffed Tiger Instagram
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d be impressed if the tiger was alive

  15. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Jiminy Cryptic
    Commented on this photo:

    Still sweaty.

  16. Florence Henderson Chippendale Dancers 30th Anniversary Black White Ball Aria Resort Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Mike would’ve loved to switch places with Carol. RIP Mr. Brady

  17. Ron Jeremy Old Face Looking Like Shit 1 OAK Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe Ron Jeremy is still alive. His body must sustain itself from some rare strain of gonorrhea.

  18. Maria Shriver Crazy Face Chateau Marmont
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    At the launch party for ‘I, Frankenstein’ in which she plays a gargoyle.

  19. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    What exactly is the Chateau Marmont?

  20. Tobey Maguire Scruffy Looking Friend
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Two guys who also just looked at that pic of Taylor Swift’s ass.

  21. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Butt Thong Tiger Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Ill take it

  22. Reese Witherspoon Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Fellow gymgoers were clearly instructed to not look at her in any circumstance

  23. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    They got a lot right in this picture.

  24. Dolly Parton Cleavage 2nd Night Of 2014 Blue Smoke World Tour Star Of The Desert Arena Inside Buffalo Bills Hotel And Casino
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder when she looked like at 19.

  25. Rascal Flatts Fat Weight Gain 99.9 Kiss Country Chili CookOff
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Part of their ‘Oblivion Tour’.

  26. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    The anime sex doll looks like it’s a rape fantasy edition. And of course it looks underage.

  27. Lady Gaga Saggy Side Boob MusiCares Person Of The Year Honoring Carole King Event
    Commented on this photo:

    You sure this wasn’t the SAG awards?

  28. Ron Jeremy Old Face Looking Like Shit 1 OAK Nightclub
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad the ‘Sloth’ guy made an almost full recovery.

  29. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like one of those steroid abusing body building chicks with the Boehner spray tan and super creepy cleavage.

  30. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Spandex Dress Kardashian Khaos Mirage Hotel Appearance
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess she’s figured out vertical stripes do her no favors.

  31. Michael K Williams Flat Brim Hat Leather Pants Long Shirt 1 OAK Nightclub
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Wearing his past four Hallowe’en costumes simultaneously.

  32. Lady Gaga Saggy Side Boob MusiCares Person Of The Year Honoring Carole King Event
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fairly normal, for once.

  33. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is that?

  34. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    My penis is scared to death.

  35. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    hahaha
    Commented on this photo:

    typical white girl flat ass

  36. Reese Witherspoon Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a very pronounced blue seam up your yoga pants or are you just glad to see me?

  37. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Zeta
    Commented on this photo:

    Beetlejuice, is that you?

  38. Carla Howe Cleavage Melissa Howe Butt Tight Pants 1OAK Nightclub
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Back right would have been worth a closer look.

  39. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Butt Thong Tiger Swimsuit
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a substantial pussy.

  40. Larry King Young Wife Shawn King Group Of Young Hispanic Guys 1 OAK Nightclub
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    “DEPENDS! Can’t you fucking hear? I’m asking if you carry DEPENDS!?’

  41. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Butt Thong Tiger Swimsuit
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Take that, Ireland’s anus!

  42. Rascal Flatts Fat Weight Gain 99.9 Kiss Country Chili CookOff
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    The singer looks like he booked the gig as soon as he heard the word ‘chili.’

  43. John Malkovich Short Pants Miami Heat Game Courtside
    Commented on this photo:

    A scene from the movie “Boring John Malkovich.”

  44. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    I read his last name initially as DeCrisco. Made more sense that way.

  45. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She is the most tolerable of the Kardashian sisters and I still can’t tolerate her.

  46. Reese Witherspoon Daughter Haven
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mommy, I smell fish”

  47. George Clooney Tomorrowland
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s getting the shakes because the nearest vagina to him is only a six.

  48. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Commented on this photo:

    Sadly, she thought she was buying pizza mix.

  49. Gavin Rossdale Holding Tiny Dog Blond Streaks In Long Greasy Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    There has never been a time when that was good hair.

  50. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    Commented on this photo:

    After seeing these two assholes, how can anybody be against spanking children?

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