The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.27.14

January 27th, 2014 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ve got a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger at something called ‘The White Sausage Party,’ so if I’m not bending the universe to serve my own whims at this point, I really have no explanation for reality anymore. (Or maybe I just need to stop watching True Detective.) Anyway, this thing is packed with more Grammys leftovers, which I was trying to avoid until my now all-powerful subconscious mind conjured Diddy‘s cocaine concierge mugging for the paparazzi. From there I just let it flow through me and that’s when I made Jessica Alba hump her defenseless child’s head, because there’s no stopping me now, your defenses are useless.

*focuses brain on hispter Amish Michael K. Williams* And it shall be done,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Anjelica Huston Anjelica Huston Scarf Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why so serious?”

  2. George Clooney Tomorrowland
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he experienced fleeting regret about leaving Stacy Keibler. Or more specifically, her ass.

  3. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    TATAS!!!

  4. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me think a sec. Does the remarkable ass trump the amount of crazy one would have to put up with?

    No. But it’s pretty close.

  5. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    evilstamos
    Commented on this photo:

    Tan Mom cleans up pretty well.

  6. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    Lars, Lars, Lars… HairClub for Men. Google it.

  7. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Butt Thong Tiger Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    What immortal hand or eye
    Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

  8. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Stocking up on shortening I see.

    • Sugar. And those are the 4lb cans. So that’s at least 24 fucking lbs of sugar.

      The mirror and razor blades are probably hidden under the camo.

      • cmonreally

        What you don’t see is the second cart behind her that Sugar Bear is pushing, filled half with Crisco and even more Domino’s sugar.

      • Could be that the “girls” are coming over for their book club meeting, and that she’s going to make a batch of 100 dozen cookies for those with the munchies.

  9. John Malkovich Short Pants Miami Heat Game Courtside
    Commented on this photo:

    “Arrrrrr!!! Blackbeard bore!!!!!”

  10. Tobey Maguire Scruffy Looking Friend
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    So spiders are weaklings?

  11. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    “So… who’s the teen who’s going to go down on me while my husband plowed her doggystyle tonight?”

  12. Florence Henderson Chippendale Dancers 30th Anniversary Black White Ball Aria Resort Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Later, she got busy with two boys of her own.

  13. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Dressed up as a reporter is the only way he can get in. How sad.

  14. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s on a roll.

  15. 50 Cent Jets Hat Knicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    When your supporters look like this, no wonder you can’t muster a winning season.

  16. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this “performance art,” “hipster ironic,” or “fucking stupid”? I’m not too up on things.

  17. Gavin Rossdale Holding Tiny Dog Blond Streaks In Long Greasy Hair
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s married to Gwen Stefani?

  18. Rihanna Cleavage Bikini Stuffed Tiger Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah yes, as cerebral as ever…posing half naked next to a stuffed tiger.

  19. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a hard time telling which is Willow and which is Jaden and determining which is the boy and which is the girl.

    The Mexican 5th grader mustaches just add to the complication.

  20. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    You have the caption reversed. I think. No? I have no idea.

  21. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s one pert lil’ butt

  22. 50 Cent Jets Hat Knicks Game
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He’d stop falling and getting his pants wet if he tied his laces.

  23. Florence Henderson Chippendale Dancers 30th Anniversary Black White Ball Aria Resort Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s the Crisco oil when you need it??

  24. Sean Lowe Grabbing Buddy Playing Football On Wedding Day
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    They got married at the Grammys, right?

  25. George Clooney Tomorrowland
    Commented on this photo:

    Is January Jones in the vicinity?

  26. Anjelica Huston Anjelica Huston Scarf Chateau Marmont
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey wait! You forgot Princess Leia!

  27. Brooke Hogan Butt Tight Skirt Man Jaw Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, you can almost not see her dick in this shot!

  28. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Commented on this photo:

    i can’t stop looking at this picture.

  29. Tobey Maguire Scruffy Looking Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    “So how’s that quitting Spider-Man working out for you?”

  30. 50 Cent Jets Hat Knicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    His body guard is a child?

  31. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    Dafuq? He looks like the crypt keeper…

  32. Chrissy Teigen Cleavage John Legend 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    Great boobs, but that face….

  33. Iggy Azalea Huge Butt Cellulite Fishnets Friends N 17th Annual Pre Grammy Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d suck the air out of her ass for free…

  34. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Commented on this photo:

    she should buy more dominos sugar.
    so she can sprinkle it on her dominos sugar.

  35. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Spandex Dress Kardashian Khaos Mirage Hotel Appearance
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK miss, we’re going need to see some ident… Go right on it”

  36. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Spandex Dress Kardashian Khaos Mirage Hotel Appearance
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t “Kardashian Khaos” just the codename for when the sisters are all competing for the attention of one paparazzo?

  37. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    Commented on this photo:

    Next time, get the full body spray tan.

  38. Larry King Young Wife Shawn King Group Of Young Hispanic Guys 1 OAK Nightclub
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘I’m telling you, this fuckin’ latino looking guy is telling me I’m his long lost son.’

  39. Sean Lowe Grabbing Buddy Playing Football On Wedding Day
    Commented on this photo:

    No sex before, though

  40. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Butt Thong Tiger Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    So the eye of the tiger has been a nipple this whole time? Bravo, Katy Perry. Bravo.

  41. Hugh Jackman Deborra-Lee Furness Empire State Building Lighting Ceremony
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm, comfortable shoes…. Are they both each other’s beards?

  42. Chrissy Teigen Cleavage John Legend 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She took up boxing?

  43. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s weird how you can actually see Paz’s alcohol-induced hallucination in the picture.

  44. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    Commented on this photo:

    These kids look like they’re already permanently broken.

  45. Pierce Brosnan Leather Gloves Survivor Set
    Commented on this photo:

    The weird thing is, with his hand hiding the bottom of his face, what you can see looks uncannily like an older Daniel Craig. Seriously, look at it.

  46. George Clooney Tomorrowland
    Commented on this photo:

    “And if it wasn’t for you meddling kids, I would have gotten away with it too!”

    “Scobby Dobby Dooooo!”

  47. Carla Howe Cleavage Melissa Howe Butt Tight Pants 1OAK Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Gosh that 1 OAK Nightclub had all the best guests.

  48. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    My TSwift fascination is not a secret, but you fucks talking about how sweet that ass is are crazy. She has no tits and or ass. I’m only in it cuz she looks like a cat and is 6 foot tall.

  49. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Butt Thong Tiger Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Not bad… not bad…

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