The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.27.14

January 27th, 2014 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ve got a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger at something called ‘The White Sausage Party,’ so if I’m not bending the universe to serve my own whims at this point, I really have no explanation for reality anymore. (Or maybe I just need to stop watching True Detective.) Anyway, this thing is packed with more Grammys leftovers, which I was trying to avoid until my now all-powerful subconscious mind conjured Diddy‘s cocaine concierge mugging for the paparazzi. From there I just let it flow through me and that’s when I made Jessica Alba hump her defenseless child’s head, because there’s no stopping me now, your defenses are useless.

*focuses brain on hispter Amish Michael K. Williams* And it shall be done,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Her mom took this picture. You can tell because there’s no reflection in the sunglasses.

  2. Lady Gaga Saggy Side Boob MusiCares Person Of The Year Honoring Carole King Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Blueberry, or chocolate chip. Why would you ask that?”

  3. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She wishes they were brains. Okay not really.

  4. Hugh Jackman Deborra-Lee Furness Empire State Building Lighting Ceremony
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Guess who’s going to have some fun with this tonight?….Hint: it’s not me.”

  5. Reese Witherspoon Daughter Haven
    Commented on this photo:

    “You came from here.”

  6. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I wouldn’t eat sausages off the handle of a plunger.

  7. Reese Witherspoon Daughter Haven
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mommy? How come I hear the ocean all of a sudden?”

  8. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kim thinks she can steal all the attention with her tits and her baby. I’ll show her.”

  9. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    “White Sausage Party” is a very accurate description.

  10. Pierce Brosnan Leather Gloves Survivor Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, no OJ recommended these. Up until now I’ve been choking prostitutes to death barehanded like a neanderthal.”

  11. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Arnold likes some salsa on his white sausage?

  12. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate myself but, goddam!

  13. John Malkovich Short Pants Miami Heat Game Courtside
    Commented on this photo:

    “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Atlantic is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.”

  14. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice try, Photo Boy; using pictures from People of Walmart to fill in the gaps on your posts. I see through it.

  15. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Dia Betty’s afraid Marge will stop the Mother Loving Sugar company’s supply lines again.

  16. Reese Witherspoon Daughter Haven
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Hmmm, I see what looks like red numbers…’

  17. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ain’t no wifey?” Of course not – you’re 12, and last I checked, Scientology has yet to break into the pedophilia market.

  18. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    He downloaded her from Napster.

  19. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay Boo-Boo, what aisle are them demitasse spoons on?”

  20. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    True to the name of this site I’ll ignor who this is and just concentrate on the tits.

  21. John Malkovich Short Pants Miami Heat Game Courtside
    Commented on this photo:

    Bingo tonight after supper in the community room, John.

  22. Rascal Flatts Fat Weight Gain 99.9 Kiss Country Chili CookOff
    kravmaguffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom Cruise and Chaz Bono are in a band?

  23. Gavin Rossdale Holding Tiny Dog Blond Streaks In Long Greasy Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Most fucked up delivery in maternal history.
    On the bright side, at least he looks like Papa.

  24. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Commented on this photo:

    That pretty much says it all right there. I’m moving to Norway. This place is fucked.

  25. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope someone comes up with a gay Fabio and Diddy joke.

  26. Willow Smith Aint No Wifey Jaden Smith Roc Nation Pre Grammy Brunch
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She won’t be whipping that fro.

  27. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    Her cleavage looks like one of those t-shirts you get from an amusement park that has a six pack air sprayed on to it, but in this case it’s tits.

  28. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    kravmaguffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Siegfried or Roy?

  29. Larry King Young Wife Shawn King Group Of Young Hispanic Guys 1 OAK Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, my wife ordered a BLACK guy!”

  30. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Sweaty Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel sorry for Smurfette.

  31. June Shannon Shopping Cart Full Of Sugar Walmart
    Commented on this photo:

    Here we may observe the southern manatee (Trichechus manatus australis) in its native habitat.

  32. Brian

    I may be developing something of a man crush on Rust Cohle. There, I said it.

  33. Ron Jeremy Old Face Looking Like Shit 1 OAK Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    I bought his boner meds. Didn’t work.

  34. Daniel DiCriscio Diddy Pre Grammy Party Boulevard 3
    Commented on this photo:

    “Blonde, James Blonde.”

  35. George Clooney Tomorrowland
    Commented on this photo:

    He gets like this when Ann Coulter’s nearby.

  36. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently the gap is an Austrian thing.

  37. Pierce Brosnan Leather Gloves Survivor Set
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Disguised voice ‘You fuckin’ suck Craig, you hear me? You fuckin’ suck!’

  38. Lady Gaga Saggy Side Boob MusiCares Person Of The Year Honoring Carole King Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmmm, flapjacks!

  39. Taylor Swift Butt Booty Shorts
    dreamcrusher
    Commented on this photo:

    I would cash in my 401K right now for one lick at that thang.

    Long and lean with a smoking hot lower unit.

  40. Florence Henderson Chippendale Dancers 30th Anniversary Black White Ball Aria Resort Casino
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet the cuffs don’t match the collar.

  41. Arnold Schwarzenegger White Sausage Party Giant Soft Pretzel
    Commented on this photo:

    GEEF ME ANUDDAH FRANKFUHTAH!!

  42. Brooke Hogan Butt Tight Skirt Man Jaw Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice try Nick! Fool me once…

  43. Corey Feldman Shaggy Wig Fake Moustache Grammy Awards Listen Deep Party
    bob
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he one of the dwarfs from the Hobbit?

  44. John Malkovich Short Pants Miami Heat Game Courtside
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    …wearing clothing from the the David Carradine fashion line.

  45. Pierce Brosnan Leather Gloves Survivor Set
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Just can’t stop harassing Daniel Craig, even on-set.

  46. Paula Patton Cleavage Legs Boob Window Dress 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    Commented on this photo:

    RuPaul’s looking more mannish than usual.

  47. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Whore.

  48. Lars Ulrich Jessica Miller 56Th Annual Grammy Pre Grammy Gala And Salute To Industry Icons
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    One of these is a little bitch with a vagina. The other one is wearing a dress.

  49. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    In her cleavage, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years

  50. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    As long as she doesn’t talk, she truly is an angel.
    A whoring, narcissistic angel, but still…

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