Welcome to another robust Monday edition of The Crap We Missed which admittedly starts off on a sour note (above), continues downhill from there, until finally ending in the gutter. So, sorry in advance for that. Sprinkled throughout, however, are a few bright spots, like Rutger Hauer: Dark Thief of Immortal Souls, Olivia Munn finally finding a room where she’s the least obnoxious person, Orlando Bloom wearing sweatpants tailor-made for Jon Hamm, and Kim Kardashian in her happy place.
Sally Field does not approve,
- Photo Boy
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He needs to stop doing this and get back in the studio recording sweet ass beats that are all, hip and fly and poppin’ fresh….or whatever it is the kids call it these days.
And somehow still looks younger than Lindsay Lohan
Jabba the Hutt looks really good after the diet.
Olivia Munn finally captured looking like the humorless cunt she is. I guess when you’re prostituting yourself to Ne-Yo you just can’t hide it anymore.
I’m pretty sure that if aliens came from outer space and saw her right here, they would say something like, “Beep boop, she looks hot enough to probe with our space dongs, boop bort.”
But WE know the truth of what lies beneath the veil of her clothings.
So if other life forms exist, and are intelligent enough to figure out space travel, you think they’re out cruising for hot poon? Sure, why not.
What else you gonna do with a sweet, fast ride?
You got here before I did, Iveski. I was going to say the same thing.
Looks better on her than dang ol’ Miley
“Guess which head I shaved for the after parties tonight”
Still hasn’t heard from Michael Bay about Trans4mers*, rushing off to his villa to wash his Ferrari.
*you know they’re gonna call it that
Why is there herpes on her lip? Oh right, she was one of the girls auditioning for the Tom Cruise’s wife position.
“…good Pelegrino.., as I was saying Apple is lamer than lame. The new hip OS is Windows. Because it sucks.”
Stupid bitch is heading for Jlo territory.
I just got a Vick’s Vapor Rub high from looking at this..
Never thought a coke addicted, burned out pornstar would sink so low as to imitate Miley Cyrus.
imitating Pink. Miley got it from Pink, someone with actual talent.
“Bro! Bro! Are you fucking dis bitch!?”
“….Ah am fooking dis bitch!”
(laughter)
Fart lighting on ice?
Since Weeds was cancelled, Mary Louise Parker has had to resort to dancing on Lady Gaga’s tour.
If I touched Pam Anderson in any way, I’d probably fart fire too.
I can’t figure out which hand is creepier….
I hate to say it, but, Damn, she looks good here.
(Carl Weather’s agent on phone to him)
“You’re an asset. An expendable asset. And I made you go to Tunnel Vision’s premiere to get the job done, got it?!”
I don’t even know what a “Princess Fiona” is. Now get that thing outta my face!
I’ve seen you naked 8,000 times, so your cleavage is a mute point.
“A mute point?”
“Like Helen Keller’s opinion. It doesn’t matter. It’s mute.”
oh help a brother out. so maybe I’ll not see this word fucked up anymore than I fucking have to. It’s MOOT, a MOOT point.
I pooped ‘em…
I agree!
Might have to go retro this week with some JJ porn!
I don’t blame Gaga. I’d grab that ass too.
Hannibal Lecter’s alive!
Photobomb level: Cryptkeeper.
“That’s right, baby. You’re gonna let me borrow your credit card and go straight to Bloomingdale’s after I finish you off, won’t you baby? Oh yeah, I can almost taste your cu- . . . Sorry folks! Pregnant brain! What were we talking about?”
I think someone wants to play “Batman & Robin.”
does her shirt say seman backwards? which would explain the mouth.
And the award for “Longest and Most Flopsweaty Route Taken to Get to an Unfunny Joke” goes to….YOU!!!
“Ello there, mum. Ever read a book called “A Modest Proposal?”
You made my day with this one.
I’m half Irish, but any Swift reference has to get a thumbs up.
“Send your Hep-C SOARING!”
read the box of Hep-C-B-Gone, and had this picture on it.
That’s a sexy ass. She’s looking damn good.
The award is for a very impressive feat: he’s the only person to ever fly a plane while in the closet.
I thought that was Roseanne Barr.
denise before charlie
Exactly.
is this the new cool runnings? i’m so stoked!
Lil Jon. Big Retard.
we should be the ones holding our breath, lady.
What Rihanna’s face will look like when Chris Brown gets done with her.
Now I know who to go to if I need a fresh vital organ.
If he has the goods to fill out those pants, that would explain how he was able to bag Miranda Kerr.
As soon as giant ribbed lizard penis’ and denim jackets become the next big thing, Orlando is going to be SET.
that poor dog. oh, i feel sorry for the terrier, too!
Now with an extra hole!
It is amazing how this girl manages to skip paying off in the dead pool.
“Get that thing away from me, it reminds me of my abduction by Aliens .They may be green but the aren’t little”
The new hairstyle covers up the black eye rather well
She’s facing the wrong way if you’re going to hit her with the Razor’s Edge.
YES!
.
Kevin Bacon in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” ?