“I was a neurosurgeon in Bosnia,” the man in between them mournfully thought, deciding right then that tonight would be the night that a single bullet would grant sweet release from this twisted joke called life.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where you’ll find the last scraps left on the floor by this weekend’s full schedule of events. Having covered the bustiest most notable talents of our day already, what’s left for this post is the famewhores and the awkward moments. Take George Clooney, for example. You know that feeling, when you bump into a chick you banged a while back and can’t remember her name? Just happened there. Ditto goes for this fine gentleman with Tara Reid except ‘a while back’ was 5 mins ago in the bushes behind them. And we’d be remiss if we didn’t include at least one shot of Bond on the red carpet, as well as the dude who plays him in the gay porn parodies.
Speaking of gay porn, is it me, or is John Travolta‘s fake hair even starting to recede?
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Come on, guys. No “Jodie did it, why can’t you?” questions, alright?
A black tie gala for people who like perpetuating Australian stereotypes? Uhm, why? Anyway, looks like we see Nicole at the very moment the shrimp on the barbie boomeranged on her colon.
I wonder how the maintenence man that cleans that thing is gonna explain to his wife how he got the herp …
Still would
Julianna: “It still burns when I pee you know, you bastard!”
George: “I’m sure it does, but I’m worth it.”
Hell, I’d still love to plow her. It’s bound to be my turn soon.
For $75, it can be your turn right now.
Where do I mail the check?
If I were in that wine cellar with the sommelier, it wouldn’t have gone down like that. There would have been a lot of red wine spilled on the floor, then me saying “OK, waiter, it’s time for another bottle.”
Told her not to drink the water from that fountain that paris hilton was frolicking in….
One of these days, she’s going to snap her neck posing like that.
Don’t be mad that I’m not her mister. I could PRETEND that I’m Honey Boo Boo!
SINBAD?
That’s what I thought too!
Something weird about a women who hates the Pope, loves anal sex, smokes weed, has no hair, but is careful enough about her nutritional needs to drink Ensure.
Goddammit. Should be under the Sinead “Difficult brown” O’Connor pic.
Turning into a stormtrooper before our very eyes.
A blast from the past… now make it go away.
Twenty years after Scooby Doo was put down for an organic brain disorder, would-be author Fred Jones and his ascot retired to New York to begin writing a comprehensive compendium of ghost traps.
Hugh: “I don’t care what People says, I’m more beautiful”
Bradley: “No, I am”
Hugh: “Not”
Bradley: “Am”
etc.,etc.,etc.
Are we still blaming Michael Jackson for this?
When did Roger Ebert go blonde?
I don’t know who she is, but thanks for all that vomit on my keyboard, bitch!
It may LOOK like a fountain, but that’s actually all of the water jumping out of the puddle she just stepped into!
Gayssassin’s Creed
“Someone find me a tighter dress. The world needs to know that I’m pregnant.”
“Uh, Kim, I think people are already aware of-”
“They. Need. To. KNOW!”
(better) “She’s a fanny packer…”
Celebrities–they’re just like you and me, but shittier.
“No, no…wait…I’ve GOTTA drive home. I’m way too fucked up to walk!”
“Say what you like, I’m the guy who was banging Mila Kunis during her hot years. Props to my man Ashton for getting her off my Facebook page.”
NOW will you pay attention to me?!?
Homo Alone.
Not her best shot, but still . . sex please!
“Would you ever do what Jodie did?”
“Hell no–I’m lookin’ to get PAID, girl!”
“He-e-y-y-y-y…w-a-i-t-t-t-t…dammit-t-t-t…where’s that guy who was waiting for sloppy seconds…???”
I didn’t know they made tanning beds for teeth.
Bald or toupee? Make up your mind!
Bald would look better than whatever that is.
“Grrrrrr …”
I was SO shocked when he came out.
Dat gyal nasty.
Who, exactly, IS this Jodie Marsh person, and exactly HOW did she get her pubic hair to grow like that?
I thought Divine was dead.
Does she have to hold them up so they don’t sag to her navel and hide the six pack?
“Damn. Woke up with a boner again.”
For Jeremy Piven.
I’n sorry Grg but my pnytale z pulld so tite my face kant muv.
Her best angle is from the waist down.
EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! To think I used to masturbate to her topless scene in King Kong!
Much to everyone’s surprise.. Audrey Meadows is still alive!
Even though it was a black tie the even, hosts decided to make an exception and allow this attendee in without a tie…
There was a rumor that a big star in Hollywood was going to come out at the Golden Globes last night. Pretty sure I saw a big sigh of relief from Hugh Jackman when Jodie Foster took the stage.
Liam Neeson is looking fit these days.
I’m glad to see Courtney Stodden toning it down some
Live long and prosper.
Trailer Trash-tastic