The Crap We Missed – Monday 1.14.13

January 14th, 2013 // 490 Comments

“I was a neurosurgeon in Bosnia,” the man in between them mournfully thought, deciding right then that tonight would be the night that a single bullet would grant sweet release from this twisted joke called life.

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where you’ll find the last scraps left on the floor by this weekend’s full schedule of events. Having covered the bustiest most notable talents of our day already, what’s left for this post is the famewhores and the awkward moments. Take George Clooney, for example. You know that feeling, when you bump into a chick you banged a while back and can’t remember her name? Just happened there. Ditto goes for this fine gentleman with Tara Reid except ‘a while back’ was 5 mins ago in the bushes behind them. And we’d be remiss if we didn’t include at least one shot of Bond on the red carpet, as well as the dude who plays him in the gay porn parodies.

Speaking of gay porn, is it me, or is John Travolta‘s fake hair even starting to recede?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. John Travolta Kelly Preston GDay USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Come on, guys. No “Jodie did it, why can’t you?” questions, alright?

  2. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face GDay USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    A black tie gala for people who like perpetuating Australian stereotypes? Uhm, why? Anyway, looks like we see Nicole at the very moment the shrimp on the barbie boomeranged on her colon.

  3. Paris Hilton Bikini Fountain Twitter
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how the maintenence man that cleans that thing is gonna explain to his wife how he got the herp …

  4. Pamela Anderson Cleavage Second Annual Sean Penn And Friends Help Haiti Home Gala
    ya
    Commented on this photo:

    Still would

  5. Julianna Margulies George Clooney 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Julianna: “It still burns when I pee you know, you bastard!”
    George: “I’m sure it does, but I’m worth it.”

  6. Pamela Anderson Cleavage Second Annual Sean Penn And Friends Help Haiti Home Gala
    o'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Hell, I’d still love to plow her. It’s bound to be my turn soon.

  7. Mark Wahlberg Toasting Wine Glasses With Fat Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    If I were in that wine cellar with the sommelier, it wouldn’t have gone down like that. There would have been a lot of red wine spilled on the floor, then me saying “OK, waiter, it’s time for another bottle.”

  8. Katie Holmes Sore On Lip
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    Told her not to drink the water from that fountain that paris hilton was frolicking in….

  9. Coco Huge Butt Tight Patent Leather Dress World Mixed Martial Arts Awards
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    One of these days, she’s going to snap her neck posing like that.

  10. Tara Reid Hungover Walk Of Shame
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t be mad that I’m not her mister. I could PRETEND that I’m Honey Boo Boo!

  11. Ricky Martin Thin Moustache Hoodie
    Alison
    Commented on this photo:

    SINBAD?

  12. Emily Blunt Butt Tight Dress Critics Choice Movie Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Something weird about a women who hates the Pope, loves anal sex, smokes weed, has no hair, but is careful enough about her nutritional needs to drink Ensure.

  13. Ricky Martin Thin Moustache Hoodie
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Turning into a stormtrooper before our very eyes.

  14. Samantha Ronson Rainbow Colored Hair
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    A blast from the past… now make it go away.

  15. Ethan Hawke Stupid Hat Bandana Tied Around Neck
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Twenty years after Scooby Doo was put down for an organic brain disorder, would-be author Fred Jones and his ascot retired to New York to begin writing a comprehensive compendium of ghost traps.

  16. Hugh Jackman Bradley Cooper BAFTA Tea Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Hugh: “I don’t care what People says, I’m more beautiful”
    Bradley: “No, I am”
    Hugh: “Not”
    Bradley: “Am”
    etc.,etc.,etc.

  17. Macaulay Culkin Thin Smoking Cigarette
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we still blaming Michael Jackson for this?

  18. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face GDay USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Roger Ebert go blonde?

  19. Jodie Marsh Bikini Six Pack Abs Dark Tan Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who she is, but thanks for all that vomit on my keyboard, bitch!

  20. Paris Hilton Bikini Fountain Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    It may LOOK like a fountain, but that’s actually all of the water jumping out of the puddle she just stepped into!

  21. Ricky Martin Thin Moustache Hoodie
    Chachi
    Commented on this photo:

    Gayssassin’s Creed

  22. Kim Kardashian Pregnant
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Someone find me a tighter dress. The world needs to know that I’m pregnant.”
    “Uh, Kim, I think people are already aware of-”
    “They. Need. To. KNOW!”

  23. Sinead O'Connor Fanny Pack
    shemp
    Commented on this photo:

    (better) “She’s a fanny packer…”

  24. Tara Reid Hungover Walk Of Shame
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Celebrities–they’re just like you and me, but shittier.

  25. Deena Cortese Birthday Party Inflatable Penis Trannies
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, no…wait…I’ve GOTTA drive home. I’m way too fucked up to walk!”

  26. Macaulay Culkin Thin Smoking Cigarette
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Say what you like, I’m the guy who was banging Mila Kunis during her hot years. Props to my man Ashton for getting her off my Facebook page.”

  27. Samantha Ronson Rainbow Colored Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    NOW will you pay attention to me?!?

  28. Macaulay Culkin Thin Smoking Cigarette
    Commented on this photo:

    Homo Alone.

  29. Gabrielle Union Cleavage Nipples BET Honors
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Not her best shot, but still . . sex please!

  30. Hugh Jackman Bradley Cooper BAFTA Tea Party
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Would you ever do what Jodie did?”

    “Hell no–I’m lookin’ to get PAID, girl!”

  31. Tara Reid Hungover Walk Of Shame
    Commented on this photo:

    “He-e-y-y-y-y…w-a-i-t-t-t-t…dammit-t-t-t…where’s that guy who was waiting for sloppy seconds…???”

  32. Mel Gibson Crazy Eyes WB In Style Golden Globe After Party
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know they made tanning beds for teeth.

  33. John Travolta Kelly Preston GDay USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Bald or toupee? Make up your mind!

  34. Samantha Ronson Rainbow Colored Hair
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Grrrrrr …”

  35. Jim Parsons Tired Drunk Golden Globes
    Commented on this photo:

    I was SO shocked when he came out.

  36. Sinead O'Connor Fanny Pack
    Bumba Claat
    Commented on this photo:

    Dat gyal nasty.

  37. Jodie Marsh Bikini Six Pack Abs Dark Tan Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Who, exactly, IS this Jodie Marsh person, and exactly HOW did she get her pubic hair to grow like that?

  38. Deena Cortese Birthday Party Inflatable Penis Trannies
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Divine was dead.

  39. Jodie Marsh Bikini Six Pack Abs Dark Tan Twitter
    GLT
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have to hold them up so they don’t sag to her navel and hide the six pack?

  40. Adrian Grenier Shirtless
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn. Woke up with a boner again.”

  41. Julianna Margulies George Clooney 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    I’n sorry Grg but my pnytale z pulld so tite my face kant muv.

  42. Kym Johnson Cleavage Crossed Eyes GDay USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Her best angle is from the waist down.

  43. Jessica Lange WB In Style Golden Globe After Party
    Commented on this photo:

    EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! To think I used to masturbate to her topless scene in King Kong!

  44. Axl Rose Scarf Hat Cane
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Much to everyone’s surprise.. Audrey Meadows is still alive!

  45. Kym Johnson Cleavage Crossed Eyes GDay USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Even though it was a black tie the even, hosts decided to make an exception and allow this attendee in without a tie…

  46. Hugh Jackman Bradley Cooper BAFTA Tea Party
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    There was a rumor that a big star in Hollywood was going to come out at the Golden Globes last night. Pretty sure I saw a big sigh of relief from Hugh Jackman when Jodie Foster took the stage.

  47. Joe Manganiello Trenchcoat Art Of Elysium Heavan Gala
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Liam Neeson is looking fit these days.

  48. Deena Cortese Birthday Party Inflatable Penis Trannies
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad to see Courtney Stodden toning it down some

  49. Kym Johnson Cleavage Crossed Eyes GDay USA Los Angeles Black Tie Gala
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Live long and prosper.

  50. Tara Reid Hungover Walk Of Shame
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Trailer Trash-tastic

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