“I was a neurosurgeon in Bosnia,” the man in between them mournfully thought, deciding right then that tonight would be the night that a single bullet would grant sweet release from this twisted joke called life.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where you’ll find the last scraps left on the floor by this weekend’s full schedule of events. Having covered the bustiest most notable talents of our day already, what’s left for this post is the famewhores and the awkward moments. Take George Clooney, for example. You know that feeling, when you bump into a chick you banged a while back and can’t remember her name? Just happened there. Ditto goes for this fine gentleman with Tara Reid except ‘a while back’ was 5 mins ago in the bushes behind them. And we’d be remiss if we didn’t include at least one shot of Bond on the red carpet, as well as the dude who plays him in the gay porn parodies.
Speaking of gay porn, is it me, or is John Travolta‘s fake hair even starting to recede?
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
(Inside his head): Just keep smiling Mel… The Jews will soon leave to go conspire against you…
I swore this was a man until I read who it was.
I’m still not sure.
That’s a man supposedly trapped in a female body.
It’s a man trapped in a man’s body with no penis.
Nice job, Photo Boy! You captioned some gay dude as “Samantha.”
Holding back a retarded Benicio Del Torro.
Come at me, nig…I mean bro.
If she ever sobers up, she’s going to be very disappointed to learn that’s not Topher Grace.
She’s like Barbie on ‘roids.
Or Ken on estrogen.
The queen is looking better these days.
Not sure the ‘Hey, you can totally see up my nose!’ angle is the most flattering.
Don’t blink. Because you can’t.
I’m gonna touch the creepy girl booby….gonna touch it…gonna….NO, I just CAN’T!!!!
I hope someone warned the Templars that he’s coming.
Rack, I need to touch that rack
I wonder how many times they’ll have to wash that towel just to get the hair out.
I see Bond villain in his future. Just the right amount of creeper.
I don’t think he’ll be stroking a white pussy for that role.
Bald dude: “To saying hi to our mothers for you!”
I don’t know who this is, but her name tells me she’s a digital lady of the evening.
The pug in the back says it all.
To be quite Blunt, I want to get in that ass.
What ass?
I think he just Sharpies his hair on at this point.
I don’t care how cheap he is, that dude is NOT performing at my kids borthday party.
There is not enough bleach.
Her camel toe has it’s own camel toe.
She posted this for all the straight men who she hoped would suddenly think ‘Gee, I think I’d like to have sex with another man…an oily one.’
[insert Joker comment]
Poster woman for scarves
If by scarves you mean ski masks, then I agree.
“To donuts and bad acting! Cheers!”
this just ruined my day.
She really shouldn’t drink the tea that Tom keeps sending her.
Elegant way of testing one’s breath.
Wow, she makes Tan Mom attractive.
I hate how everyone thinks it’s funny to use the “pinch” effect on their iPhoto avatar.
Bieber should challenge her to a man-off.
It would be a tie…for SECOND!
Awwww…..why the long face?
:(
“Hmm, something about the Jodie Foster speech isn’t quite kosher. Oops, I said kosher! Sorry, dad! Hahahahaha”
Looking more alive than usual.
She’s gonna make my death pool look great this year.
Social etiquette for not covering those around you in semen while sneezing.
AHURRRRRR, I’m Jerms Bernd.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s wearing some weird shit these days.
Parrot feathers are the latest trend in toupees for men with receding hairlines.
Yep, that’s the UK alright. Half the crowd needs dental work, several are on the verge of puking, and they’re all pale and pudgy.
He just dumped her and they weren’t even going out.
Is the Iron Sheik making a come back?
Speaking of top-five death pool candidates.
AHUUUUURRRRR, ERM JERMS BERND….
“Jet? … Who?”
Dude with the hat is on the Phone with Lance Armstrong’s doctor.
No surprise here… Hugh Jackman always has his beard at these parties.
Aaand it’s “Jett”, apparently. Dammit.