“I was a neurosurgeon in Bosnia,” the man in between them mournfully thought, deciding right then that tonight would be the night that a single bullet would grant sweet release from this twisted joke called life.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where you’ll find the last scraps left on the floor by this weekend’s full schedule of events. Having covered the bustiest most notable talents of our day already, what’s left for this post is the famewhores and the awkward moments. Take George Clooney, for example. You know that feeling, when you bump into a chick you banged a while back and can’t remember her name? Just happened there. Ditto goes for this fine gentleman with Tara Reid except ‘a while back’ was 5 mins ago in the bushes behind them. And we’d be remiss if we didn’t include at least one shot of Bond on the red carpet, as well as the dude who plays him in the gay porn parodies.
Speaking of gay porn, is it me, or is John Travolta‘s fake hair even starting to recede?
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Her mask is slipping off.
His too!
Little dog lost.
Jesus
I’m surprised her knees are holding up so well.
Remember when she was considered THE whore?
How delightfully feminine.
Steve-O is looking much healthier
Sam Kinison is still alive! Oh, what a relief.
Giant white penis party. Kim Kardashian R.S.V.P.’d “not interested.”
You know that dude is home alone a lot.
The black guys in this picture? Yep, all the way in the back. Is this what Rosa Parks fought for?
Just blew the red sweatpanted, left hanging dick for that pack of Marlboro Lights.
“Going to the bathroom, you say? I’ll accompany you.”
“That’s all right, I think I got-”
“I IN-SIST!”
She doesn’t look bad for a member of the walking dead.
AKA “Grumpiest Old Men”
What’s that smell? Oh, that’s right – it’s me.
Who invited Pimp Daddy Ginger-Vitis to the Golden Globes?
Ha! Wait till they find out the drag queen is actually Snookie sitting on top of JWOWW in drag…
(PS I hate myself for knowing who those 2 are)
That isn’t a known shape for a human, bovine maybe, but not human.
They make a ginger Guy Fawkes mask?
Mole men pee bath…thats so trending.
So he had to burn his underwear after sex with her? Makes sense…
Read what my medal says: “Courage”. Ain’t it the truth? Ain’t it the truth? Courage! Courage, I say!”
Why hello there Miss who-gives-a-shit; nice tits.
the Russell Brand “homeless pimp chique” look is really catching on.
Now SHE’S doing a golden shower scene? One more reason for Kim Kardashian to be pissed at her.
Sure, but when I wear a similar trench coat and grow that kind of stache, I get put on a list…
Golden Showers in Australia flow upward.
Cheers to Danny DeVito
Rob Reiner
Tara Reid in Miami
No, this freak has defined abs.
Pamela Anderson in two years.
The 90′s called, they don’t want any of this back…
Some where in the world, there is a wax figure of John Travolta who claims to be more life-like.
I can smell him from here.
That’s the healthiest I have seen him look in a while…
Yeah, he must have put on what, 50 pounds?
Makeup is a hell of a thing
And these are my foot soldiers!
Wasn’t this dude a character from the “King of the Hill”?
“Wow! See that on her lip? I’m glad I never actually kissed her.” – Tom Cruise
HA, she likes to put things in her fanny pack
Wanders around Laguardia hoping to be mistaken for a cracked out Alexander Skarsgård just to make the tabloids.
Did he hit her OFF switch??
Protip: Crest Whiting Strips.
“To my lack of talent!!”
Sweaty botoxed white trash He-Man. Classy.
Damn…
A dress designed for nothing other than the preparation and delivery of a pearl necklace.
Do they have to make their Matrix role-playing public?
He is not looking good…
Never swallow your mouthful of Thetans.