If this is a brochure for your school, now would be a good time to dropout and focus on how you’re going to wage emotional revenge on your parents over the next 20 years for sending you there because clearly they hate you.
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you early because there’s literally nothing going on and, well, it’s Friday. So here’s the long and short of it: The Munchkin Guild instructs Jay Z to tell Gwyneth Paltrow her children’s garments have been rendered – and maybe drive her to the Piggly Wiggly, Orlando Bloom still can’t believe all this only cost him his first born son on his fifth birthday (They stop being cute after that anyway.) and the saddest moment in David Hasselhoff‘s entire life. I’m talking one of his daughters could die and he’d be like, “Remember when I couldn’t get a burger? Now that’s emotional turmoil that shakes you to very core.”
Attention all nerds who know who Vampirella is, you’ll need some spare Underoos handy,
- The Superficial
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“Hey, Mister. I’ve got 87¢ and I aim to spend every damn penny of it!”
“Oops, excuse me. I could have sworn I actually had clothing on.”
Why does the enforcer’s hand remind me of the hamburger helpers four finger mascot?
Why do I pick on the enforcer you ask? maybe I have a crush.
“oh , I’d love to be an Oscar Meyer wiener , That is what i’d really like to be ….”
Smug bastard
i’d hit it twice a week
Great miranda kerr maybe she want me.
Oink, oink, SQUEEEL!!!
Finally, a black guy who’s not wearing Beats by Fucking Dre headphones.
OK, you a goon, but what’s a goon to a goblin?
Can everyone PLEASE do me the favor and focus on her HAND!!!! It looks her height and her hands are the only things that stayed the same since she was born!
“Are You Smarter Than a 500-lb Piece of #%&! ?”
What the fuck is up with her legs.. So fuckin’ short and ugly. Makes drumsticks on a chicken look long and slender.
Short cumbucket
Jersey whore = Jersey shore
Why doesn’t anyone on Jersey Shore have a torso?
This week’s episode of “Fifth-graders Are Most Definitely Smarter than a Jersey Whore”.
This is what happens when your mom drinks while she is pregnant with you.
See, even Ke$ha would like to pee on Kim Kardashian.
Anybody want to smell my shitty ass
Actually, he did an extremely long air-sea-rescue shift before he went to the children’s hospital.
If you want to spit bile at any of them, spit it at Andrew.
Why is there a picture of a woman with a pig on her lap?
Jerry Lewis has never looked better.
DHARMA?!