The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.28.12

September 28th, 2012 // 538 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, which signals our end of day, so you can suck it West Coast! Completely fabricated coastal rivalries aside, we’d love for you all to enjoy this smattering of random, starting with the pants that drugs painted, as well as Larry King, who wants that telegraph sent by sundown or nobody gets their nickel raise, Tulisa Contostavlos, whose breasts don’t lie, and finally, the great Sam Waterston who is way too drunk for has no patience for crappy red carpet banter.

Phew, thank goodness Brooke Mueller‘s finally clean. I mean, if she was still high as shit, she’d probably be trying to hock shitty, homemade jewelry somewhe– Wait,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Spalsh News, WENN

superficial

  1. Sofia Vergara Upskirt Panty Flash K-Mart Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    Obviously, in her language “K-Mart” doesn’t mean “crappy store that no decent girl would ever go into”

  2. Sam Waterston An Enemy Of The People Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    “There’s this guy, see. He takes a trip to Europe. It’s his first vacation in a long time. Sees the sights, you know? He has a real good time. Anyway, after a while he decides to call home. He gets his brother on the phone, and the guy says to his brother, ‘How’s everything at home?’ And his brother says, ‘Your…your cat died.’ And the guy says to his brother, ‘You shouldn’t tell me bad news like that. You should break it to me gently. You know, like, you should say something like, “The cat crawled out on the roof…and…chasing squirrels…and…got stuck. We had to call the fire department…and when they finally got there…the fireman crawled up, he grabbed the cat, but on the way down he slipped and the cat…fell to the ground. And, they had to take the cat to the vet. They tried to save the cat…even operated…on the cat. But it was too late. The–they couldn’t…save the cat.” That’s how you should break bad news like that.’ So the guy says to his brother… ‘How’s Mom?’ And the brother says…’She’s on the roof.’ “

  3. Macaulay Culkin Paint Covered Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mila, look! I’ve gotten my shit together! Let’s go out again!”

  4. JoJo Cleavage Legs Tight Dress 10th Annual Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    No, no.

  5. Sam Waterston An Enemy Of The People Broadway Opening Night
    1NDUN
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs an Enema of the Poophole.

  6. Larry King Yelling Into Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, I’m lost again. No, I don’t know who you are, but I don’t know how to call anyone else on this phone. Now I pooped myself.”

  7. Tulisa Contostavlos Cleavage Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Chapter One: I got fake boobs.
    Chapter Two: I wrote this book.

    The End

  8. Pippa Middleton Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Since I get all of my knowledge from this site, I’ve determined that Pippa Middleton has no front.

  9. Matt Smith Fighting Homeless Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Fucker the end of the line is back there”
    “I’m Matt Smith!”
    “Who? We’re all hungry dick!”

  10. Brooke Mueller Crappy Jewelry
    Commented on this photo:

    Sadly, even though she’s obviously homeless, it’s still a huge step up from being Mrs. Charlie Sheen.

  11. Jennifer Garner
    Commented on this photo:

    That reminds me, I need to re-upholster my cow, er, couch.

  12. Hilary Duff Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll still do her, but I would need her to wear the Hillary Duff mask from 2005. FYI, that’s when she just turned 18.

  13. Matt Smith Fighting Homeless Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Joe Rogan bothering that guy?

  14. Kanye West
    HoneyBooBooby
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Kim finally duped him into giving her oral sex.

  15. Rihanna Open Shirt Underboob Tattoo
    HoneyBooBooby
    Commented on this photo:

    Idk how she does it. One day she’s black, the next day she’s Oompa Loompa orange.

  16. Sarah Hyland Yellow Teeth Cleavage 10th Annual Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who she is, but everything about her is too much.

  17. Tulisa Contostavlos Cleavage Book Signing
    Beltliner
    Commented on this photo:

    “This biography of Tulisa came out awfully quickly. It’s not even about her!”

    “Sure it is! Look at the cover.”

    “But inside it’s mostly about Ross Perot, and the last two chapters are excerpts from the Oliver North trial!”

  18. Shia LaBeouf Laos Hat Cut Off Jean Shorts
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Off to my first day of work as a production assistant!

  19. Sarah Hyland Yellow Teeth Cleavage 10th Annual Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I think someone distorted that picture.

  20. Shia LaBeouf Laos Hat Cut Off Jean Shorts
    HoneyBooBooby
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the makers of RID give you that hat to wear til your head heals up.

  21. Sarah Hyland Yellow Teeth Cleavage 10th Annual Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    Ribbit.

  22. JoJo Cleavage Legs Tight Dress 10th Annual Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Is her last name, Willis ?

  23. Hayden Christensen Beard
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof that becoming the young star of a major film franchise before you’ve established yourself as an actor does not necessarily mean that your career will end with the franchise.

    Oh wait, no….the opposite of that.

  24. Kanye West
    sandycakes
    Commented on this photo:

    waaahhh wahhh! thiis purse is too heavy, someone help me *sob*

  25. Matt Smith Fighting Homeless Guy
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, asshole, you think you’re so much better than me because you don’t poop in *your* phone booth?

  26. Sarah Hyland Yellow Teeth Cleavage 10th Annual Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue
    HoneyBooBooby
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s getting a real head start on Halloween. I’m loving the wax Dracula teeth.

  27. Sharon Stone Drunk
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I never thought I could see a picture slur itself.

  28. Brooke Mueller Crappy Jewelry
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I get the feeling she was thrown out of her apartment, and these are the last of her possessions?

  29. Eli Roth Goretorium The Strip's Terrifying New Horror Experince Launch Party
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    The most horrible thing Eli Roth ever did was come to Hollywood.

  30. Sam Waterston An Enemy Of The People Broadway Opening Night
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Ohhh, there’s just one…more…thing.

  31. Kelsey Grammer
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move, Trebek!

  32. Melissa Molinaro Butt Tight Dress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever does her hair extensions they are a master at the art.

  33. Hayden Christensen Beard
    HoneyBooBooby
    Commented on this photo:

    The man in the red’s really a cardboard cut-out he carries with him to look like he’s got friends.

  34. Sarah Hyland Yellow Teeth Cleavage 10th Annual Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    Sarah looks darling except for her teeth. Heavy smoking will yellow them very fast. She should get them cleaned at least once a month. Or just quit smoking!

  35. Sofia Vergara Upskirt Panty Flash K-Mart Makeover
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez, can’t I go to *one* K-mart where there are no hispanics?

  36. Hayden Christensen Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    He was actually good in “Jumper”. His wooden acting in Star Wars matched George Lucas’ wooden dialog.

  37. Macaulay Culkin Paint Covered Jeans
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s been painting, I see. Well, either that or rolling around in a filthy dumpster.

    I’m going to go with painting.

  38. Matt Smith Fighting Homeless Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, I’m not auditioning for a new Companion and NO, you may not sleep in the TARDIS!”

  39. Sharon Stone Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    However much you may hate that woman, you gotta love that hat.

  40. Larry King Yelling Into Phone
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s interviewing the voices in Amanda Bynes head.

  41. Kelsey Grammer
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yew want a whippin’? Yew want a whippin’? Alriiiight aaaaahm gonna give yew a WHIPPIN’!”

    *takes belt off, pants fall down*

    “Goldang it….”

    Smooth move, Krusty.

  42. Matt Smith Fighting Homeless Guy
    HoneyBooBooby
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one’s Matt Smith? I think you’re just making up names, places, and people.

  43. Tulisa Contostavlos Cleavage Book Signing
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    You did put up the posters, right? And are you sure they said 6 p.m.?

  44. Olivia Wilde Butt Tight Dress Butter Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks expensive.

  45. Sharon Stone Drunk
    HoneyBooBooby
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought that was Lindsay Lohan but she hasn’t looked that good in a while.

  46. Pippa Middleton Butt Tight Jeans
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, I thought planking was out of fashion!

  47. Kanye West
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    “What’choo talkin’ ’bout Willis?”

  48. Olivia Wilde Butt Tight Dress Butter Premiere
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I saw there was a line and thought I would just show up and be pretty.

  49. Jennifer Garner
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere there is a 68 Oldsmobile missing its seat covers.

  50. Kanye West
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Successful and highly wealthy rock star.
    Could have any women he desires.
    Instead dates a baldy and gets engaged to a fat ass.

Leave A Comment