The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.27.13

September 27th, 2013 // 370 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, your last chance for the week to cleverly insinuate the sexuality of Joe Jonas or Hugh Jackman and possibly get yourself fired when this or this gets logged in your cache forever. Working sucks anyway, right? And the buzz around town from closet racists is you can buy name brand cereal with food stamps, own a television and have new sneakers without working or wanting to work a day in your life! MERKA!! And speaking of shiny beacons on hills of moron and greed, here’s Jonathan Cheban, totally unaware that he just successfully auditioned for a sex tape, Billy Ray Cyrus not even sweating a parking ticket, because Satan already gave him that twerking money and John Kerry with some other gravely concerned members of the UN just barely staying awake to discuss how various multinational corporate interests will get to slice up and develop what’s left of Syria after we help deliver freedom and democracy to them like we did in Iraq.

*checks watch, one Mississippi, two Mississ– “Shut up and post TITS!!” And the Internet rights itself once again,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Amanda Cerny Nipples Wet T Shirt 138 Water Commercial
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, I’m feeling pretty hydrated.

  2. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    The back of the shirt says:

    “Airports and Rest Stops Tour 2013″

  3. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    No, it’s not a Vulcan greeting, it’s a stroke you stupid motherAAHHHHH…

  4. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t I see this guy on an episode of Hillbilly Handfishin’?

  5. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I see everyone’s too busy masturbating to make a comment. Me? I’m just ambidextrous.

  6. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, really, tell me what was going on at the end of ‘Lost’, Hurley?”

  7. Bill Clinton Clinton Global Initiative
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Look buddy, you’re going to have to be more specific. I hit on a LOT of men’s wives last week.

  8. Jonathan Cheban Kris Jenner Eating Corndogs
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t think there was any thing left to say about this horrible twat, but really? work boots & skinny jeans? fer fucks sake.

  9. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    In his mind, he’s walking slow motion to embrace a young energized Judge Reinhold while the Cars’ “Moving in Stereo” plays in the background…
    Then Judge Reinhold walks in on him masturbating. And the circle of life is complete.

  10. Josh Duhamel Backwards Hat Childrens Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is that Johnny Knoxville?”
    “Only one way to find out, break a 2X4 on his head.”
    “But i might not be him.”
    “I’m willing to take that risk.”

  11. Prince Harry MapAction Reception Royal Society
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tune in, Tokyo!”

  12. Jonathan Cheban Kris Jenner Eating Corndogs
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    TWINSIES!!

  13. Prince Harry MapAction Reception Royal Society
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    …So I’m all like “No way, get all those buff guys away from me!” But seriously, are there any buff guys around here?

  14. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn you, Satan. Though you tempt me, my resolve will not waver… Instagram must die.

  15. Mischa Barton Big Butt Masters Of Sex Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    They made a movie about me? Cool.

  16. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    The Spocker.

  17. Mischa Barton Big Butt Masters Of Sex Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I was invited by the voices in my head.

  18. Victoria Silvstedt Posing With Lingerie Models Very Victoria Collection Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus. I never knew Auschwitz had a lingerie model training program.

  19. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, he’s your Vulcan greeting: LIVE LONG AND GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

  20. BD Wong Perv Stache The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, he was in all kinds of shit that wasn’t Oz. Who knew?

  21. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s in your wallet, Trout? Hopefully, it is a condom.

  22. Amanda Cerny Nipples Wet T Shirt 138 Water Commercial
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t know what 138 Water is but from their advertising campaigns it looks like you can catch STDs from drinking it.

    Is there a river that runs through porn valley that they are bottling?

  23. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    GAY

  24. Michelle Monaghan Outie Pregnant Belly Cleaners Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Crackle’s still a thing?

  25. Rosanna Arquette Haggard Face Joyful Heart Foundation Presents JoyROCKS
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she still wearing her Pulp Fiction wardrobe?

  26. Jonathan Cheban Kris Jenner Eating Corndogs
    Commented on this photo:

    Choke on it.

    Either one, really.

  27. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Nudodeglobo
    Commented on this photo:

    seems to Chumlee want another autograph for the old man…

  28. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Rainbow trout.

  29. BD Wong Perv Stache The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeremy Piven better cut back on the sushi – first it gave him stomach problems so bad he dropped out of a broadway play, now it’s turning him Asian!

  30. William Shatner
    gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s not a purse!! it’s EUROPEAN!

  31. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    Nudodeglobo
    Commented on this photo:

    Those moap extensions look so natural…

  32. Bill Clinton Clinton Global Initiative
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re the head of NASA, right? I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang ’round here, it’d be you.

  33. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I always confuse the two… is this the drunken snotrag with the deadly chin, or the snaggletoothed airhead with the self-professed giant boobs?

  34. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wow, this truck is pretty big. Is it Danny Trejo’s?”

  35. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere there’s a couple of kids being raised by their grandma.

  36. Michelle Monaghan Outie Pregnant Belly Cleaners Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    When Skarsgard said he was going green, I thought he meant he was buying a Tesla.

  37. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Now wishes that he had received more of the “prosper” and less of the other thing.

  38. John Kerry Yawning Headphones Friends Of The Syrian People Event United Nations
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s exhausting letting Russia and Iran dominate you in foreign policy.

  39. Josh Duhamel Backwards Hat Childrens Store
    Commented on this photo:

    What can you buy for the penis-birthed child who has everything?

  40. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    He got a twerking ticket.

  41. Josh Duhamel Backwards Hat Childrens Store
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    How much for two 8-year-olds?

  42. Jonathan Cheban Kris Jenner Eating Corndogs
    Commented on this photo:

    In a display of her powers, 5 minutes after this was taken, he looked like current-day Nic Cage.

  43. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just a matter of time before she dumps him for some bigger fish in the sea.

  44. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    busted

  45. William Shatner
    Commented on this photo:

    “One lesbian to beam up.”

  46. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight Jeans
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    See, I cen waalk a staaight line juzt fine, you fucking pig!

  47. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Live long and shocker.

  48. BD Wong Perv Stache The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    He was so funny in the Hangover.

  49. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Commented on this photo:

    The three holes in the shirt say “Not only do I kick ass in World of Warcraft, but I do it while smoking, bitches”

  50. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Kate Gosselin has really hit rock bottom.

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