The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.27.13

September 27th, 2013 // 370 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, your last chance for the week to cleverly insinuate the sexuality of Joe Jonas or Hugh Jackman and possibly get yourself fired when this or this gets logged in your cache forever. Working sucks anyway, right? And the buzz around town from closet racists is you can buy name brand cereal with food stamps, own a television and have new sneakers without working or wanting to work a day in your life! MERKA!! And speaking of shiny beacons on hills of moron and greed, here’s Jonathan Cheban, totally unaware that he just successfully auditioned for a sex tape, Billy Ray Cyrus not even sweating a parking ticket, because Satan already gave him that twerking money and John Kerry with some other gravely concerned members of the UN just barely staying awake to discuss how various multinational corporate interests will get to slice up and develop what’s left of Syria after we help deliver freedom and democracy to them like we did in Iraq.

*checks watch, one Mississippi, two Mississ– “Shut up and post TITS!!” And the Internet rights itself once again,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Taylor Swift Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks disappointed. Maybe she was expecting to meet a guy named Jim?

    Well, look on the bright side, Taylor: you’d have picked out the wedding rings and the church and broken up with him and recorded a #1 single about the relationship already, so you saved a whole bunch of time.

  2. Josh Duhamel Backwards Hat Childrens Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “Think if I break for Mexico I can make it?”

  3. William Shatner
    aj
    Commented on this photo:

    First a girdle and now a murse? Shatner? More like Shatthebed.

  4. John Kerry Yawning Headphones Friends Of The Syrian People Event United Nations
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    In all fairness, Assad’s actions may be exciting, but his speeches are boring as shit.

  5. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Commented on this photo:

    If you look in the dictionary for the word “awesome”, Jim Carrey’s picture is in there.

  6. Josh Duhamel Backwards Hat Childrens Store
    Commented on this photo:

    The look of a man who is going to run out for cigarettes and never come back.

  7. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    Why didn’t his parents just name him Trouser? You know they wanted to.

  8. Prince Harry MapAction Reception Royal Society
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t control my hands, they’re going to grab them!

  9. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    “Another one of them…notes…maybe a kind stranger will read it fer me…”

  10. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s amazing. She can walk in heels while dozing at the same time.

  11. Patricia Arquette Haggard Face Joyful Heart Foundation Presents JoyROCKS
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    For sale: Very high maintenance fixer-upper, as is.

  12. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope Slater is keeping all of these pictures. Ten years from now, he will be a bald insurance salesman living in the valley, married to some chick who put on 75 pounds after getting married, with three kids who he can’t stand, and who escapes to strip clubs every weekend night he can.

    Every once in a while, he can pull these pictures out and think back on the best time of his life.

  13. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    infected bellybutton
    Commented on this photo:

    Diamond-encrusted volleyball nets and fencing pants. Brilliant!

  14. William Shatner
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the hell did Shatner get real hair? I thought he was a wigger.

    Well, my father told me that William Shatner was never going to die, and now I know it’s true: he’s aging in reverse.

  15. Amanda Cerny Nipples Wet T Shirt 138 Water Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they implying that their water soaks titties better than other brands of bottled water? If so, I’ll take a case.

  16. Hugh Jackman Signing A Fans Face Prisoners Premiere Berlin
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Call me.”

  17. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    Showing her tits while acting resentful about showing her tits. It’s like my ex-wife never left.

  18. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Instagram: Making Your Pictures Blurry Since 2010

  19. Gerard Butler Angry Look
    Commented on this photo:

    Tonight we dine in coach!

  20. Gerard Butler Angry Look
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t leave yet. I see 19 women I have not had sex with yet.

  21. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew it was only a matter of time before someone cast Khloe Kardashian in a movie.

  22. Taylor Swift Butt Yoga Pants
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    sad taylor is sad.

  23. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy fuck, I hate social media. I was going to try and make some comment about how Instagram blows, but then I realized I would be leaving out Twitter, which also blows, and Facebook… so, you get the point.

  24. William Shatner
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s not a PURSE! I call it a ShatBag. On second thought after hearing that out loud, I’m cool with purse”

  25. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he ate Jeff Daniels.

  26. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “I mean it. No more hot dogs. Look at your hips for God’s sake. And when the hell did you get a tramp stamp? Kids. . .”

  27. Rosanna Arquette Haggard Face Joyful Heart Foundation Presents JoyROCKS
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    New Joker?

  28. Hugh Jackman Signing A Fans Face Prisoners Premiere Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have a dick on my face, don’t I?”

  29. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he ever see the sailboat?

  30. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    SER
    Commented on this photo:

    This shirt is a tit bit nippley–just a tit.

  31. William Shatner
    Commented on this photo:

    I said WARP SPEED! Or I’ll fucking bash you with my purse!

  32. BD Wong Perv Stache The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst suit ever.

  33. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    His career is so deeply in the shitter he has to pick up cash sticking flyers on windshields? “Tell ‘em Miley’s Dad sent ya, get a free pine tree freshener with every wash ‘n wax!”

  34. William Shatner
    Cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s not a purse, it’s a SATCHEL!”

  35. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dang, another ‘Bad father = twerky daughter’ ticket! When is Miley gonna stop putting these on my car? Its achey-breaky annoying”

  36. Amanda Cerny Nipples Wet T Shirt 138 Water Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    How cold is it?
    Oh…apparently THAT cold.

  37. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Joe learned one word of Hawaiian, and now simply says “Mahu?” to every woman he meets.

  38. Taylor Swift Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that sweater really 117 years old? Talk about vintage.

  39. Mischa Barton Big Butt Masters Of Sex Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Satin does not a princess make. Especially when paired with a schlubby sweater.

  40. Katie Holmes No Bra Saggy Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing more refreshing than the smile of a lovely young woman no longer forced to pretend she’s fucking a gay midget.

  41. William Shatner
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shatner will not be trifled with. Stop wasting Shatner’s time and retrieve the car. And make sure it is stalked with a 32 ounce big gulp, a 4×4 from In-N-Out, a fifth of Jack, two (I SAID TWO DAMN IT) copies of the Wall Street Journal, a mixed tape of N-Sync, a 24 inch flat screen (I know it’s an odd size-special order it), and a bottle of Axe body spray.

    Shatner gets what Shatner wants. Leave me.”

  42. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    SHOOTAH!!!!!

  43. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    Commented on this photo:

    She should consider some seventh-inning calisthenics. The time for stretching is past.

  44. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care, I love him so.

  45. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Ticketed for being parked too long in 1993.

  46. Prince Harry MapAction Reception Royal Society
    Commented on this photo:

    I call this movie “Frankenstein’s Jazz Hands!”

  47. BD Wong Perv Stache The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see the Donger is alive and well.

  48. Victoria Silvstedt Posing With Lingerie Models Very Victoria Collection Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this going to drive up her rates?

  49. William Shatner
    Commented on this photo:

    Jer-RY! Jer-RY! Jer…oh, sorry Mister Shatner…

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