The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.27.13

September 27th, 2013 // 370 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, your last chance for the week to cleverly insinuate the sexuality of Joe Jonas or Hugh Jackman and possibly get yourself fired when this or this gets logged in your cache forever. Working sucks anyway, right? And the buzz around town from closet racists is you can buy name brand cereal with food stamps, own a television and have new sneakers without working or wanting to work a day in your life! MERKA!! And speaking of shiny beacons on hills of moron and greed, here’s Jonathan Cheban, totally unaware that he just successfully auditioned for a sex tape, Billy Ray Cyrus not even sweating a parking ticket, because Satan already gave him that twerking money and John Kerry with some other gravely concerned members of the UN just barely staying awake to discuss how various multinational corporate interests will get to slice up and develop what’s left of Syria after we help deliver freedom and democracy to them like we did in Iraq.

*checks watch, one Mississippi, two Mississ– “Shut up and post TITS!!” And the Internet rights itself once again,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, Ole McDonald *does* have a farm…

  2. Rosanna Arquette Haggard Face Joyful Heart Foundation Presents JoyROCKS
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, from the Posh Spice School of Joy, I see.

  3. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this what Macaulay Culkin’s calling himself now?

  4. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Jenna
    Commented on this photo:

    Presumably the surname Trout comes from a genetic disposition to not have discernable lips?

  5. John Kerry Yawning Headphones Friends Of The Syrian People Event United Nations
    Commented on this photo:

    $5 says their translator just yawned.

  6. Patricia Arquette Haggard Face Joyful Heart Foundation Presents JoyROCKS
    Commented on this photo:

    Two Macaulay Culkin pictures in one day?

  7. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    His shirt lists all the airports where he’s tapped his shoe under the bathroom stall.

  8. John Kerry Yawning Headphones Friends Of The Syrian People Event United Nations
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Entirely too easy.

  9. William Shatner
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Denny Crane, motherfuckers. Denny Crane.

  10. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “You run… a comic shop?”

  11. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    quix
    Commented on this photo:

    not gay in the least.

  12. Patricia Arquette Haggard Face Joyful Heart Foundation Presents JoyROCKS
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    “My sister’s the happy one.”

  13. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    With his HGH treatments starting to show results, Dinklage can now reach for and tear up parking tickets himself.

  14. Gerard Butler Angry Look
    yoop
    Commented on this photo:

    I see dead people

  15. Hugh Jackman Signing A Fans Face Prisoners Premiere Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why of course I’ll sign your face!”

    *draws penis*

  16. Bill Clinton Clinton Global Initiative
    Stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck?? Where are the skanks?

  17. Amanda Cerny Nipples Wet T Shirt 138 Water Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    I just love the relaxed spontaneity in this pic – an ordinary person drinking bottled water in a completely ordinary way, without pretense.

  18. Bill Clinton Clinton Global Initiative
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    “The fuck, man? You know those bitches are in my rider!”

  19. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    Jenna
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Amanda Bynes was still in the hospital? Now she thinks she’s sitting on Santa’s lap?

  20. William Shatner
    Stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    No, I am not Kaley’s real father and no, I will not give you her phone number.

  21. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Contrary to popular belief, the North American trout can be domesticated–with the right combination of yoga, inane conversation, and vagina.

  22. Bill Clinton Clinton Global Initiative
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello? *Whose* conference is this? That’s right, bitch – CLINTON Global Initiative Meeting. Now sit your bitch ass back down and make me a hummus sandwich!”

  23. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    So…fashion huh?

  24. Katie Holmes No Bra Saggy Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    Little does she know that the ATM spies for Xenu.

  25. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    sivory
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the good ol’ tramp stamp.

  26. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Also pictured…some skank.

  27. Hugh Jackman Signing A Fans Face Prisoners Premiere Berlin
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    The most embarrassing moment in Berlin’s history.

  28. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    “May I show you some of my photographic nudes of menopausal Jewish women? Oh, yeah, and live long and prosper.”

  29. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt Balmain Show Fashion Week Paris
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Please god, don’t let Miley Cyrus ever find out about this dress.

    • the thing is it would be awesome to see her wear it once, but then she’d wear it every day for like 6 months and everyone would be sick of seeing her sad little titties.

      • EricLR

        Don’t forget the tongue, the fact that she would pose at every opportunity with her tongue hanging out–mistaking skanky with sexy.

  30. John Kerry Yawning Headphones Friends Of The Syrian People Event United Nations
    Commented on this photo:

    Befriending the Syrian people appears to be extremely boring.

  31. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Matt Damon as Liberace’s lover is hanging out with a dollar store Kardashian.

    Strange days, indeed.

  32. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s never going to turn tricks wearing that outfit.

  33. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    cool how she can take a picture of herself 90 years in the future. she looks great for her age btw.

  34. William Shatner
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m telling you, pure raccoon fur. Even got it myself. Ask me how much I saved!”

  35. Leonard Nimoy Vulcan Salute The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am, and forever shall be, in awe of Shatner’s denial.”

  36. Jim Carrey Meeting Fans Dumb And Dumber To Set
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Wanna see my impression of Jenny McCarthy’s kid?

  37. Josh Duhamel Backwards Hat Childrens Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “The Little House”, or “Stickybear’s Scary Night”? Life is filled with tough choices.

  38. Gerard Butler Angry Look
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Text all you like, it won’t BRING BACK MY KIDS!!!

  39. Victoria Silvstedt Posing With Lingerie Models Very Victoria Collection Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Christ! Now you don’t just have to pay for the weekend and the jet, but you gotta set her up in business?

  40. Jonathan Cheban Kris Jenner Eating Corndogs
    Commented on this photo:

    “I know… these aren’t really black, but they’ll do in a pinch.”

  41. Taylor Swift Butt Yoga Pants
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Dumped by yet another gym.

  42. BD Wong Perv Stache The Glass Menagerie Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    I have no idea who you are.

  43. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the big deal? If this guy wants to pretend he’s not gay and she’s willing to assist in this farce, who’s it hurting?

  44. Joe Jonas City Abbreviations Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish I had no idea who you are.

  45. Christopher McDonald Fat Chick On Lap Yankee Game
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    How sad is it to be the guy who gets Corey Feldman’s cast-offs.

  46. Billy Ray Cyrus Parking Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    Could be a parking ticket, could be a chinese restaurant menu…but we can be pretty sure it’s not a “father of the year” award.

  47. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Slater Trout Instagram
    Hugh Jazz
    Commented on this photo:

    If Salmon Rushdie married Slater Trout…

  48. Rosanna Arquette Haggard Face Joyful Heart Foundation Presents JoyROCKS
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Why so serious?

  49. Gerard Butler Angry Look
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aye, ’twas in the Yank airport that ay had a flashback o’ me ‘n that movie wi’ Jennifer Aniston…and me balls shriveled…”

  50. Michelle Monaghan Outie Pregnant Belly Cleaners Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently you neglected to use a vacuum on something.

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