“Uncle Owen! This R2 unit has a bad motivator,” the bald stagehand thought about yelling as he looked upon the thicket of tangled wires and circuits, wondering which connection turns Kate Winslet‘s nudity protocol back on. – Book of Nerdaments, Chap. 4
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Rihanna‘s cunt necklace, Jennifer Garner letting Jennifer Lopez know how her man ain’t straying from this and Chris Brown apparently lurks inside of cars with a bandana around his face now. He should keep doing that, but in front of banks and/or airports. It’ll be awesome, trust me.
On a side note, I don’t know how you choose between Kate Winslet or Imogen Thomas, so today’s Final Five got Shymalan’d if Shymalan’d means we just put both in and went, “Eh, people like boobs.”
Committed to better posting through crippling indecisiveness,
- The Superficial
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You can put away the fake smile Ricky, you’re not pretending to be straight anymore.
He can’t even smile straight.
Hahahahahahaha…
Poncherello looks pissed.
I’m sorry, I can’t get past the fact that she takes jeans with a hole in the knee to the DRY CLEANERS. Wtf?
That’s so Michael Scott.
Isn’t she “with child” again ?
Prego + Thong = Blecch !
Thug Waldo
Stage four clinger, Grade A douche
“Is that Lindsay? Eesh. Do not want.”
Believe it or not, there are still women in remote parts of New Jersey who think that is hot.
Why do I think that her eye make-up was Marilyn Manson’s inspiration to slice an eyeball in his video?
she is trying to look like Edie Sedgwick.
“Katie, I know you don’t know me but I just have to hug you. I feel so sorry you are married to that freak.”
Welp…the dress sure works.
Later, she picked Violet up from school wearing only
a jogging bra, crocs, and a vajazzled merkin.
Oh, those wacky, famous rich people!
“All the way in. No gagging. Seriously. I would do it for you right now but I got this photo thing to do.
It’s easy for the paparazzi to find her. Thursday is her collagen-injection day.
Three words:
On The down-low.
They must be making Spanx out of Kevlar and steel cable now.
“Yes, Yes, after I bang this woman, she will look like Penelope Cruz…”
Who knew Hungary had the kind of money to get Hugh Jackman to promote tea. I mean, is tea like really important to these people ?. It’s just freaking tea.
Lipton is British. They are just shooting the commerical in Hungary. The British are nuts about tea. And if you don’t like it I recommend you take a look at the first picture and ask yourself wouldn’t that be worth a little tea?
She needs to let Jennifer Love Hewitt borrow this dress.
For those of you who aren’t circumcised or familiar with it: Exhibit A.
They both look like somebody but they are really just nobody.
Sad Keanu finally moving out of the curb.
“I don’t care how old, balding and fat you are!
Just hug me like the touch of a woman doesn’t disgust you!
Mmmmmmm…. it’s been years…”
“I am putting my acting career on hold until someone finds a reason to hire me.”
“You know honey, with the lights off, it still almost like the sex scene in Wild Orchid.”
I said….
*shades on*
good day
C.S.I.F.E.Z.
Know thyself.
“I thought she was Roseanne and she thought I was George Clooney. How funny is that ?”
“… and when the movie galas are really boring (helllooo subtitles?) I draw pupils on my eyelids so I can nap during them. Any other questions?”
“It’s ok officer, I’m used to it. You should see the size strap on Coco wears in bed.’
Smehll maih fahrtz if you want to live.
She looks damn good.
‘V’ for Victoria
“I pity the fool who don’t take my candy!’
i’d totally get a necklace like that. cunt is my favorite curse word. so fun to say.
“Shut up, you ignorant cunt!”
Yeah, you’re right.
STOP POSTING ABOUT KIM KARDASHIAN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEEEEASE. *pulls out shotgun*
She is so pretty, so talented, and has a beautiful body. But she doesn’t know how to dress to save her life.
He looks like a Hispanic Mr. Bean now.
Eww.. chick with a six-pack and fake boobs.
Is that Snoop’s or Kanye’s underwear wrapped around his face?
His favorite planet is Uranus.
Meh. Just a cute blonde with her mother in law.
PLEASE STOP SHOWING US HER ASS. THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE !
Maybe we should try to have a telethon to raise money for a butt implant for Pippa.
bonky sounds like a fat ass.
I Love her curves, she looks beautiful from the neck down. Face up she looks like Fabio.
I was just downtown SF. The 9 out of 10 women downtown (yes the real ones for all of you who have their cross dresser/gay jokes .txt file open) are hotter than her. Seriously.
*rubber glove snap*
Beat me to it!
Jesus Christ didn’t age well.
Still love Mr. T after all these years. He’s the first person who taught me that I ain’t got no time for the jibba jabba.
FAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
No sir Mr. Ice-T, thank you for volunteering, but like I said already six times, no anal exam is required, go on through.