The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.2.11

September 2nd, 2011 // 629 Comments

“Uncle Owen! This R2 unit has a bad motivator,” the bald stagehand thought about yelling as he looked upon the thicket of tangled wires and circuits, wondering which connection turns Kate Winslet‘s nudity protocol back on. – Book of Nerdaments, Chap. 4

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Rihanna‘s cunt necklace, Jennifer Garner letting Jennifer Lopez know how her man ain’t straying from this and Chris Brown apparently lurks inside of cars with a bandana around his face now. He should keep doing that, but in front of banks and/or airports. It’ll be awesome, trust me.

On a side note, I don’t know how you choose between Kate Winslet or Imogen Thomas, so today’s Final Five got Shymalan’d if Shymalan’d means we just put both in and went, “Eh, people like boobs.”

Committed to better posting through crippling indecisiveness,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ricky Martin
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    You can put away the fake smile Ricky, you’re not pretending to be straight anymore.

  2. Wilmer Valderrama Scarf Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    Poncherello looks pissed.

  3. Ali Larter
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry, I can’t get past the fact that she takes jeans with a hole in the knee to the DRY CLEANERS. Wtf?

  4. Jennifer Garner Thong
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t she “with child” again ?

    Prego + Thong = Blecch !

  5. Chris Brown
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Thug Waldo

  6. Jayde Nicole Minidress Cleavage
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Stage four clinger, Grade A douche

  7. Wilmer Valderrama Scarf Sunglasses
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is that Lindsay? Eesh. Do not want.”

  8. Fabio
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Believe it or not, there are still women in remote parts of New Jersey who think that is hot.

  9. Evan Rachel Wood
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I think that her eye make-up was Marilyn Manson’s inspiration to slice an eyeball in his video?

  10. Katie Holmes Hug Fat Guy
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    “Katie, I know you don’t know me but I just have to hug you. I feel so sorry you are married to that freak.”

  11. Kate Winslet Breasts
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Welp…the dress sure works.

  12. Jennifer Garner Thong
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Later, she picked Violet up from school wearing only
    a jogging bra, crocs, and a vajazzled merkin.
    Oh, those wacky, famous rich people!

  13. Evan Rachel Wood
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    “All the way in. No gagging. Seriously. I would do it for you right now but I got this photo thing to do.

  14. Megan Fox Tongue
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s easy for the paparazzi to find her. Thursday is her collagen-injection day.

  15. Chris Brown
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Three words:
    On The down-low.

  16. Tiggles

    They must be making Spanx out of Kevlar and steel cable now.

  17. Antonio Banderas
    Tad Bit Tipsy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, Yes, after I bang this woman, she will look like Penelope Cruz…”

  18. Hugh Jackman Lipton Tea
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew Hungary had the kind of money to get Hugh Jackman to promote tea. I mean, is tea like really important to these people ?. It’s just freaking tea.

    • Nick

      Lipton is British. They are just shooting the commerical in Hungary. The British are nuts about tea. And if you don’t like it I recommend you take a look at the first picture and ask yourself wouldn’t that be worth a little tea?

  19. Kate Winslet Breasts
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to let Jennifer Love Hewitt borrow this dress.

  20. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    For those of you who aren’t circumcised or familiar with it: Exhibit A.

  21. Jayde Nicole Minidress Cleavage
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    They both look like somebody but they are really just nobody.

  22. Keanu Reeves
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad Keanu finally moving out of the curb.

  23. Katie Holmes Hug Fat Guy
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t care how old, balding and fat you are!
    Just hug me like the touch of a woman doesn’t disgust you!
    Mmmmmmm…. it’s been years…”

  24. Megan Fox Tongue
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am putting my acting career on hold until someone finds a reason to hire me.”

  25. Mickey Rourke
    Tad Bit Tipsy
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know honey, with the lights off, it still almost like the sex scene in Wild Orchid.”

  26. Wilmer Valderrama Scarf Sunglasses
    mcdoubler
    Commented on this photo:

    I said….
    *shades on*
    good day

  27. Rihanna Cunt Necklace
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Know thyself.

  28. Antonio Banderas
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    “I thought she was Roseanne and she thought I was George Clooney. How funny is that ?”

  29. Evan Rachel Wood
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “… and when the movie galas are really boring (helllooo subtitles?) I draw pupils on my eyelids so I can nap during them. Any other questions?”

  30. Ice T Airport Security
    Tad Bit Tipsy
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s ok officer, I’m used to it. You should see the size strap on Coco wears in bed.’

  31. Arnold Schwarzenegger Toe Touch
    Commented on this photo:

    Smehll maih fahrtz if you want to live.

  32. Kate Winslet Breasts
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks damn good.

  33. Jennifer Garner Thong
    CptCreep
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘V’ for Victoria

  34. Mr T Snickers
    Tad Bit Tipsy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I pity the fool who don’t take my candy!’

  35. Rihanna Cunt Necklace
    a short haired girl
    Commented on this photo:

    i’d totally get a necklace like that. cunt is my favorite curse word. so fun to say.

  36. doodles

    STOP POSTING ABOUT KIM KARDASHIAN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEEEEASE. *pulls out shotgun*

  37. NTT

    She is so pretty, so talented, and has a beautiful body. But she doesn’t know how to dress to save her life.

  38. Antonio Banderas
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a Hispanic Mr. Bean now.

  39. The Situation Jen Boronico
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Eww.. chick with a six-pack and fake boobs.

  40. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Snoop’s or Kanye’s underwear wrapped around his face?

  41. Ricky Martin
    Commented on this photo:

    His favorite planet is Uranus.

  42. Mickey Rourke
    Commented on this photo:

    Meh. Just a cute blonde with her mother in law.

  43. Pippa MIddleton Butt Tight Jeans
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    PLEASE STOP SHOWING US HER ASS. THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE !

    Maybe we should try to have a telethon to raise money for a butt implant for Pippa.

  44. Compound9

    I Love her curves, she looks beautiful from the neck down. Face up she looks like Fabio.

  45. Pippa MIddleton Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I was just downtown SF. The 9 out of 10 women downtown (yes the real ones for all of you who have their cross dresser/gay jokes .txt file open) are hotter than her. Seriously.

  46. Ice T Airport Security
    Commented on this photo:

    *rubber glove snap*

  47. Al Pacino Headband
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ didn’t age well.

  48. Mr T Snickers
    Commented on this photo:

    Still love Mr. T after all these years. He’s the first person who taught me that I ain’t got no time for the jibba jabba.

  49. Imogen Thomas Bikini
    NTT
    Commented on this photo:

    FAAAAAAAAAAAKE!

  50. Ice T Airport Security
    Commented on this photo:

    No sir Mr. Ice-T, thank you for volunteering, but like I said already six times, no anal exam is required, go on through.

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