The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.2.11

September 2nd, 2011 // 629 Comments

“Uncle Owen! This R2 unit has a bad motivator,” the bald stagehand thought about yelling as he looked upon the thicket of tangled wires and circuits, wondering which connection turns Kate Winslet‘s nudity protocol back on. – Book of Nerdaments, Chap. 4

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Rihanna‘s cunt necklace, Jennifer Garner letting Jennifer Lopez know how her man ain’t straying from this and Chris Brown apparently lurks inside of cars with a bandana around his face now. He should keep doing that, but in front of banks and/or airports. It’ll be awesome, trust me.

On a side note, I don’t know how you choose between Kate Winslet or Imogen Thomas, so today’s Final Five got Shymalan’d if Shymalan’d means we just put both in and went, “Eh, people like boobs.”

Committed to better posting through crippling indecisiveness,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Satan's bitch

    It’s true, people do like boobs. Good call Fish.

  2. Pippa MIddleton Butt Tight Jeans
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Where did that come from? Most of the pics I’ve seen have been like pancakes. And not even delicious pancakes. Bran pancakes.

  3. Megan Fox Tongue
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    No matter how hard you spit, you can never get the taste of Lebeouf out.

  4. The Situation Jen Boronico
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of funny that the one with a pussy is less of a pussy than the pussy on the right.

  5. Hugh Jackman Lipton Tea
    Chinto
    Commented on this photo:

    Wolverine needs to do some lower body work.

  6. Jennifer Garner Thong
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    TMI!!! Christ woman, you can afford clothing that fits.

  7. Kate Winslet Breasts
    guy
    Commented on this photo:

    why does she look so ‘handsome’

    • Shirley

      I think she looks beautiful, ages gracefully. Not like other 50 yr old trying to look like they 20 with boob/ butt implants

  8. Katie Holmes Hug Fat Guy
    roseY
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof that Scientology makes you fat.

  9. Kate Winslet Breasts
    Commented on this photo:

    Hold on, while I call my Asseaters Anonymous sponsor.

  10. Rihanna Cunt Necklace
    Commented on this photo:

    So sweet that Chris Brown still buys her jewelry.

  11. Pippa MIddleton Butt Tight Jeans
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Those jeans make it look like she actually has an ass. Definitely worth the 500 quid she spent on them.

  12. The Situation Jen Boronico
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    His business partner… ?

  13. Megan Fox Tongue
    roseY
    Commented on this photo:

    Did somebody just punch her in the mouth?

  14. Kate Winslet Breasts
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    I need a dress like that…woah!

  15. Chris Brown
    McDouchey
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like He’s already been beating some hoe up.

  16. Katie Holmes Hug Fat Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    even going a few feet away Katie can not avvoid giving this dude a hard on.

  17. Jennifer Garner Thong
    Commented on this photo:

    belt (noun)
    A strip of leather or other material worn around the waist, esp. in order to support clothes.

  18. Ricky Martin
    McDouchey
    Commented on this photo:

    He looked a lot straighter before He came out.

  19. Rihanna Cunt Necklace
    Wow
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one classy chick right there. Does she have any self respect? What a great message to send to her female fans.

    • Jo

      She is a slutty piece of filth. Disgusting – and before people slate me I am broad minded having lived a wild life – and do you know what? I would STILL not have worn that piece of filth inside or outside a church. She’s vile.

  20. Mr T Snickers
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    That homeless man pities the photog.

  21. The Situation Jen Boronico
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    You know when you’re making a loaf of bread and you have to knead it with your fists? That’s what his “abs” look like, it’s the strangest sight.

  22. Miranda Kerr Trenchcoat
    McDouchey
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to be her spittle.

  23. Arnold Schwarzenegger Toe Touch
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    ITS NOT A TOE-MAH!!!

  24. Bar Refaeli
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she in the movie? Because I love it when supermodels pack their ample talent and make the cross-over into acting. Christ, am I the only one who remembers when Orson Wells was a Sears and Roebuck underwear model?

  25. Fabio
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    He looked better wearing the seagull.

  26. Ice T Airport Security
    pdan
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t know, man…you got anything bigger? No way Coco fits through this shit.”

  27. Mr T Snickers
    Commented on this photo:

    “I tell you this snickers wasn’t stolen. I’m selling these for a church benefits, yeah that’s it. “

  28. Ice T Airport Security
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Well you already have gloves on so you might as well start feeling around.

  29. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    “I hope things are square between Rhianna and me, now that I got her that “cunt” necklace.

  30. Ricky Martin
    Commented on this photo:

    Special Anal Envoy to Uruguay, Ricardo Martin.

  31. Evan Rachel Wood
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    I. DO. NOT. HEAR. YOU. FOREIGN. PERSON.

  32. Keanu Reeves
    Commented on this photo:

    Chaz Bono wants his/her beard back.

  33. Megan Fox Tongue
    weaselspeed
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that her tongue or her lower lip?

  34. Al Pacino Headband
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    al pacino on dancing with the lil frends.

  35. Imogen Thomas Bikini Big Boobs
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    I could palm those

  36. Bar Refaeli
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ass. Very very nice….

  37. Miranda Kerr Trenchcoat
    Commented on this photo:

    The Superficial Presents:
    CREATE YOUR OWN EUPHEMISM
    eg. “Good thing she’s wearing a raincoat, because readers everywhere are about to unzip their pants and give her a Mexican Downpour.”

  38. Jayde Nicole Minidress Cleavage
    McDouchey
    Commented on this photo:

    It took me a few minutes before I realized that she had a face.

  39. Ali Larter
    Commented on this photo:

    The Superficial Presents:
    CREATE YOUR OWN EUPHEMISM
    eg. “What a nice pair of black and aqua Camel Handlers she’s wearing.”

  40. The Situation Jen Boronico
    McDouchey
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish his career would take the express.

  41. Fabio
    Commented on this photo:

    Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife is going to be so upset that she didn’t win the “Biggest Tits of the Week” award.

  42. Arnold Schwarzenegger Toe Touch
    Commented on this photo:

    Downward-facing Guatemalan Maid is my favorite yoga pose too.

  43. Al Pacino Headband
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Put the headband back on, Al.

  44. Keanu Reeves
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Keanu, it doesn’t matter where you go. You’re not going to find your career anywhere.

  45. Katie Holmes Hug Fat Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Pleeeeeease, take me with you. Smuggle me out in your belly or something.

  46. Imogen Thomas Bikini
    McDouchey
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmm, Stretch marks.,

  47. Miranda Kerr Trenchcoat
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    I noticed she’s wearing a ring on her right thumb. I thought, Who wears a ring on their thumb? So I looked it up. I got four answers:

    1. Archers wear rings on their thumbs—but not that kind of ring.
    2. Urbandictionary.com says “If a woman wears a thumb ring on her right thumb, she is considered to be Bisexual or Lesbian.”
    3. Urbandictionary.com ALSO says “When a ring is worn on your thumb it advertises your willingness to engage in anal sex.”
    4. People wear it just as a fashion statement.

    Oh, of course. Answer #4. I’m sure the rest of the Superficial commenters will see it that way, too.

    • jessie

      I’ve gotten rings to big before, and i’ll just wear them on my thumb since they won’t fit on any other finger. That’s probably what happend to her. Even though, I know most people on here would like to think it’s option 3.

    • Venom

      I respectfully disagree and must defer to #3 but with one caveat, she is having anal sex, just not with that elf of a boyfriend of hers.

      • Nick

        Archers, is that a new sexual position I’m unaware of? Answers 2 and 3 are sick, twisted, and immoral… I love it! No. 4 makes no sense whatsoever!

    • That’s ridiculous. That ring on her thumb is only there because it keeps her right arm from slipping off the bone.

  48. Jennifer Garner Thong
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not what I meant when I said I really wanted to see a whale tail.

  49. Imogen Thomas Bikini Big Boobs
    McDouchey
    Commented on this photo:

    Stupid hands!

  50. Kate Winslet Breasts
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Stunning and classy. So far she hasn’t become a victim of Hollywood. Hope she can keep it up.

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