“Apple proudly unveils the new iRRELEVANT.”
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that contains what could be my last Jon Hamm‘s humongous penis reference. (It absolutely won’t be.) But first, we’ve got Selma Blair giving attachment parenting a whirl, using Mayim Bialik‘s new homeopathic and sustainable baby wash product, Maternamist,™ as well as Verne Troyer at [Insert short stack joke here], which brings me right back around to the aforementioned Dong Draper *tips cap,* which apparently the Boston Red Sox liked enough to toss up on the jumbotron, prompting Bill Cosby to reply, “On you missed it? It was exactly like this.”
*Grabs cane, tap dances off stage,*
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I’m just going to put these comments back on track. Tits.
Jared Leto making the most honest to god best attempt to lure in Kim K that a white man has ever attempted, I’ll bet you he even put down urine sent.
Who’s to say that smoking a ton of weed doesn’t lead you places…. tangible places.
I just realized someone I know, and don’t like, resembles Sally Field except her hair’s lighter and, unfortunately, she’s not about to be pissed on…
This is how NOT to age gracefully.
Looks like she borrowed some old lady’s arms for the event.
Nerdy… in a hot way.
Nerds are hot.
He’s looking a little more “Gunnar” from Project Runway.
It’s Will’s turn. Whip out the royal dong!
Wait. When she stands up, how far down will the end of her ass go?
I see vertebrae where there should be none…
Bend at the knees, grandma. Bend at the knees.
Her attempt at blending in with the red carpet has clearly failed…
jack Black joke.
Ooof.
Little person joke.
Well thanks you for the honorary Doctorate of Baseball.
Did you know that just last week, I received a Doctorate of Irrelevance?
The football players always win.
More like Freddie Kruger.
Arthur.. Your parents are assholes. It is 2012.. ARTHUR?? They should have just called you Apple, or Moses or Bluebell Madonna.
HAG
Camera one. Camera two. Camera one…okay, enough with camera one.
All I see is Kendra…
Shockingly, it’s another girl who could afford to buy a boob job and a bottle of bleach. Next!
Yeah, but it’s natural bleach!
Soupie Sales is my Publicist. He suggests smashing pies in faces to promote everything. He also shits his pants and drools.
That’s an old reference. I’m not sure most people will get it.
GOOF
(((((BOING)))))
“Now you will get ready for the zim zam and the babbidy bibidy. And you will take off your clothes like VOOO-VOOOM! And get ready for the most splendiforous pudding pop you have ever seen.”
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/pc/Jocelyn+Wildenstein+aka+Cat+Woman+gives+forced+kxB6mb6l6b2l.jpg
Why would you do that without warning us first?
Payback for all that cheek filler up there.
That is how you virtually kick someone in the balls!
“You can search all you want, but Mommy thinks you won’t find any tuna.”
“Son, get out of Mommy’s way…she’s practicing for a Riverdance audition.”
“Listen, my darling, when I make a sign like this it means you should excuse yourself, go up to our room, get naked, and get in the Chinese Love Swing. Then I’ll be there within 5 minutes.”
“Tally Ho, short man. My name is Russell Brand and I believe I’m your brother…or maybe your sister.”
How sad. This had the potential of being quite a stimulating photo.
Plain sight, indeed.
“…so the clown says, ‘That’s not my wife. That’s my monkey!’ Hahaha…his monkey…is that funny or what?…hahahaha… Omigod, I can’t stand it…Hey, wait. Don’t you get it?”
“…and THAT’S what you get for pinching my ass, you jerk!”
I saw him in a movie last week and it pains me to announce that he was pretty damn good in it. Of course, he was playing a psychotic, murderous prick, so no big stretch. And I still can’t stand him.
She is super-model-scrawny. But I love her to death!
One funny motherfucker!
OHHH FUCK MEEEE… I fucking looked. Someone call 9-1-1. Medic! I need a Medic!
I’ll bet she tastes like honeydew melon…yummmmmmm
He’s still catatonic from getting to kiss Elisha Cuthbert in “The Girl Next Door.” The rat bastard!
She looks fucking GREAT! I wonder if she would like another grandpa…
I’ll have that, fries, and a Diet Pepsi!
It’s so inspiring watching her work out…
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/15/shawn-johnson-1024×648-340_215.jpg[/img]
let’s try this one more time…It’s so inspiring watching her work out…
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/15/shawn-johnson-1024×648-1-340_215.jpg[/img]
http://watchurmouth.com/2012/08/03/2012-olympics-sexiest-female-gymnasts/shawn-johnson/
It was nice of her to give that car accident victim an emergency blood transfusion right from a vein in her leg.
Mouth perfect for cocksucking. The rest is a fucking mess!
I wonder how Matthew disposes of her “road apples.”