The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.14.12

September 14th, 2012 // 673 Comments

“Apple proudly unveils the new iRRELEVANT.”

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that contains what could be my last Jon Hamm‘s humongous penis reference. (It absolutely won’t be.) But first, we’ve got Selma Blair giving attachment parenting a whirl, using Mayim Bialik‘s new homeopathic and sustainable baby wash product, Maternamist,™ as well as Verne Troyer at [Insert short stack joke here], which brings me right back around to the aforementioned Dong Draper *tips cap,* which apparently the Boston Red Sox liked enough to toss up on the jumbotron, prompting Bill Cosby to reply, “On you missed it? It was exactly like this.”

*Grabs cane, tap dances off stage,*

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Dominica Westling Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just going to put these comments back on track. Tits.

  2. Jared Leto Scruffy Beard Sunglasses
    donkylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Jared Leto making the most honest to god best attempt to lure in Kim K that a white man has ever attempted, I’ll bet you he even put down urine sent.

  3. Paul Rudd
    donkylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s to say that smoking a ton of weed doesn’t lead you places…. tangible places.

  4. Jeff Bridges Sally Field
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    I just realized someone I know, and don’t like, resembles Sally Field except her hair’s lighter and, unfortunately, she’s not about to be pissed on…

  5. Madonna Butt Fishnets Cheerleader Costume
    katie
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how NOT to age gracefully.

  6. Heather Locklear Butt Tight Jeans Tank Top
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she borrowed some old lady’s arms for the event.

  7. Paul Rudd
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardinal
    Commented on this photo:

    Nerdy… in a hot way.

    Nerds are hot.

  8. Jared Leto Scruffy Beard Sunglasses
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s looking a little more “Gunnar” from Project Runway.

  9. Prince William Kate Middleton Gardens By The Bay Singapore
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Will’s turn. Whip out the royal dong!

  10. Madonna Butt Fishnets Cheerleader Costume
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardinal
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait. When she stands up, how far down will the end of her ass go?

  11. Diane Kruger Skinny Legs
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    I see vertebrae where there should be none…

  12. Madonna Butt Fishnets Cheerleader Costume
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Bend at the knees, grandma. Bend at the knees.

  13. Amy Childs Cleavage
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    Her attempt at blending in with the red carpet has clearly failed…

  14. Emile Hirsch Beard TIFF Born Twice Premiere
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    jack Black joke.

  15. Tia Carrera Cleavage
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooof.

  16. Verne Troyer Playing Poker
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Little person joke.

  17. Bill Cosby Baseball Bat Red Sox Game
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Well thanks you for the honorary Doctorate of Baseball.

    Did you know that just last week, I received a Doctorate of Irrelevance?

  18. Shawn Johnson Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    The football players always win.

  19. Diane Kruger Skinny Legs
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Freddie Kruger.

  20. Selma Blair But Legs Daisy Dukes
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Arthur.. Your parents are assholes. It is 2012.. ARTHUR?? They should have just called you Apple, or Moses or Bluebell Madonna.

  21. Prince William Kate Middleton Gardens By The Bay Singapore
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    HAG

  22. Tia Carrera Cleavage
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Camera one. Camera two. Camera one…okay, enough with camera one.

  23. Dominica Westling Bikini
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    All I see is Kendra…

  24. Dominica Westling Bikini
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Shockingly, it’s another girl who could afford to buy a boob job and a bottle of bleach. Next!

  25. Maria Menounos Butt Legs Tight Skirt
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Soupie Sales is my Publicist. He suggests smashing pies in faces to promote everything. He also shits his pants and drools.

  26. Jared Leto Scruffy Beard Sunglasses
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    GOOF

  27. Candice Swanepoel Butt See Through Dress
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    (((((BOING)))))

  28. Bill Cosby Baseball Bat Red Sox Game
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now you will get ready for the zim zam and the babbidy bibidy. And you will take off your clothes like VOOO-VOOOM! And get ready for the most splendiforous pudding pop you have ever seen.”

  29. Selma Blair But Legs Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    “You can search all you want, but Mommy thinks you won’t find any tuna.”

  30. Selma Blair But Legs Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Son, get out of Mommy’s way…she’s practicing for a Riverdance audition.”

  31. Prince William Kate Middleton Gardens By The Bay Singapore
    Commented on this photo:

    “Listen, my darling, when I make a sign like this it means you should excuse yourself, go up to our room, get naked, and get in the Chinese Love Swing. Then I’ll be there within 5 minutes.”

  32. Russell Brand Talking To Homeless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tally Ho, short man. My name is Russell Brand and I believe I’m your brother…or maybe your sister.”

  33. Geri Halliwell Miniskirt Panty Lines
    Commented on this photo:

    How sad. This had the potential of being quite a stimulating photo.

  34. Tia Carrera Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Plain sight, indeed.

  35. Jeff Bridges Sally Field
    Commented on this photo:

    “…so the clown says, ‘That’s not my wife. That’s my monkey!’ Hahaha…his monkey…is that funny or what?…hahahaha… Omigod, I can’t stand it…Hey, wait. Don’t you get it?”

  36. Maria Menounos Butt Legs Tight Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and THAT’S what you get for pinching my ass, you jerk!”

  37. Jared Leto Scruffy Beard Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    I saw him in a movie last week and it pains me to announce that he was pretty damn good in it. Of course, he was playing a psychotic, murderous prick, so no big stretch. And I still can’t stand him.

  38. Candice Swanepoel Butt See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She is super-model-scrawny. But I love her to death!

  39. Paul Rudd
    Commented on this photo:

    One funny motherfucker!

  40. Madonna Butt Fishnets Cheerleader Costume
    Commented on this photo:

    OHHH FUCK MEEEE… I fucking looked. Someone call 9-1-1. Medic! I need a Medic!

  41. Emma Watson Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll bet she tastes like honeydew melon…yummmmmmm

  42. Emile Hirsch Beard TIFF Born Twice Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s still catatonic from getting to kiss Elisha Cuthbert in “The Girl Next Door.” The rat bastard!

  43. Dakota Fanning Butt Side Boob Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fucking GREAT! I wonder if she would like another grandpa…

  44. Shawn Johnson Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll have that, fries, and a Diet Pepsi!

  45. Shawn Johnson Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s so inspiring watching her work out…

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/15/shawn-johnson-1024×648-340_215.jpg[/img]

  46. Shawn Johnson Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    Commented on this photo:

    let’s try this one more time…It’s so inspiring watching her work out…

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/15/shawn-johnson-1024×648-1-340_215.jpg[/img]

  47. Geri Halliwell Miniskirt Panty Lines
    Commented on this photo:

    It was nice of her to give that car accident victim an emergency blood transfusion right from a vein in her leg.

  48. Amy Childs Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Mouth perfect for cocksucking. The rest is a fucking mess!

  49. Sarah Jessica Parker Baby Bump
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how Matthew disposes of her “road apples.”

Leave A Comment