The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.30.13

August 30th, 2013 // 382 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which fittingly caps the week with the flat, white-girl ass that twerked the Internet into seizures. For the record, Miley, you weren’t and will never even be close to doing this. Shut that shit down. We can all stop obsessing about that now and get back to our normal, civilized Internet behavior which yes, of course, means tearing apart these people for anything we can think of at all. There’s Beyonce with her poor people bat Aunt GOOP made for Blue Ivy (Goddamnit, I hate even typing that.), Jared Leto and his asshole’s silent cry for help, and Willie Geist who apparently is a sick sonofabitch. “Hey Brooke, you know how you’re mentally unbalanced? Take a look at how pretty you used to be.”

See you Tuesday,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    “All the women make this face and form a line!”

  2. Corey Feldman Intermix Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Shaun White looks horrible in this pic.

  3. Tia Mowry Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Meaty.

  4. Lady Gaga Bodysuit Crotch Wedgie Black Tight Veil
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady Gag.

  5. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    “this is how robots walk”

  6. Brooke Shields Willie Geist Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Willie:
    Remember when you thought of yourself as a Journalist?
    Looks like you’re aspiring to be Mario Lopez more than Walter Cronkite.

  7. Bill Clinton Hamptons
    Cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    “So this is what Thomas Jefferson felt like. That man was a visionary.”

  8. Beyonce Cleavage Dollar Bill Covered Bat Music Video
    Commented on this photo:

    The video is set in 1984 New Jersey at the State’s Annual “Tacky Fair”.

  9. Shailene Woodley Short Hair Mountain Spring Water Mason Jar Sandwich The Fault In Our Stars Set
    Commented on this photo:

    And nothing makes the spring water more perfect than topping it off with a fine layer of one’s own farts. Snnnnnnnnifffffffffffffff!

  10. Parker Posey
    Commented on this photo:

    What the.. why? What have you done with brunette Elisabeth Banks???

  11. Nicolas Cage Panama Hat Sunglasses Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    How would it be if I stood THIS close?

  12. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Coworkers, do not ask me to get up…

  13. Brooke Shields Willie Geist Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what show they are on. If only there were some coffee mugs with giant logos all over the set to let us know.

  14. Corey Feldman Intermix Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see, so that makes this girl about 5’2″ I’d say.

  15. Bill Clinton Hamptons
    Michael_D
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright alright alright…”

  16. Simon Cowell Lauren Silverman Makeout
    Commented on this photo:

    Getting knocked up by Simon Cowell is like winning Powerball — but with moobs.

  17. Brooke Shields Willie Geist Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish I was still this hot…..

  18. Kelly Clarkson Cleavage Fat Jowls Maroon 5 Show
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s really no need to make fun of her weight when there’s so much to say about the ’80s prom dress.

  19. Parker Posey
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet, a new Christopher Guest movie is coming out.

  20. Nicolas Cage Panama Hat Sunglasses Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Mistah Jones! Mistah Jones!

  21. Shailene Woodley Short Hair Mountain Spring Water Mason Jar Sandwich The Fault In Our Stars Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks more like moonshine and a rice krispies treat to me.

  22. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage Squeezing Boobs Together
    Commented on this photo:

    No restrooms in London, I guess….

  23. Helen Hunt Wrinkly Old Lady Mouth Ride Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure why Christians get so freaked out about skulls and skeletons. I mean, we all have one inside us, as you can clearly tell in this photo of Helen Hunt.

  24. Bill Clinton Hamptons
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s ok! He was the first black president…..

  25. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I get the feeling that the final five photos are up for bid, sort of like on Shipping Wars. And today, there just weren’t that many people bidding.

  26. Alicia Keys Wide Hips Pink Pants GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    When the hips get bigger so should the hair.

  27. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    Is a side effect of boob jobs a lazy eye?

  28. Jessica Biel Butt Clingy Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Must….not…finger!

  29. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    “Whoa, whoa, whoa! So, what you’re saying is, that putting a weiner in a bun is what you people do for a LIVING?”

  30. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    and thing, she was all like “I might have aids!”

  31. Simon Cowell Lauren Silverman Makeout
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your life and the baby are mine

  32. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Swingali
    Commented on this photo:

    The world first animatronic Real Doll! Now $99.95 at Walmart.

  33. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing jorts and a…j-bra? What a fashion plate.

  34. Nicolas Cage Panama Hat Sunglasses Venice International Film Festival
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    Seems like Mickey Rourke lost weight….

  35. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    Unflattering.

  36. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage Squeezing Boobs Together
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    If it weren’t for the Kardashians, she’d be known as the talentless woman who coasted further than any other reality show “star.” She was robbed.

  37. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    boof
    Commented on this photo:

    Look ma no hands
    *shakes penis back and forth*

  38. Gillian Jacob Bra See Through Dress Bad Milo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Marry me!!!
    Huh. That sounded much more droll and seductive in my head…

  39. Beyonce Cleavage Dollar Bill Covered Bat Music Video
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “I only use dildos that have been shellacked with Benjamins! Who run the world?!?”

  40. Lady Gaga Bodysuit Crotch Wedgie Black Tight Veil
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Dolphins get caught in fishing nets all the time, and even the ugly ones deserve our sympathy.

  41. Parker Posey
    Commented on this photo:

    needs a whole passel of cats.

  42. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    “I promise to send each and everyone of you this many dong selfies.”

  43. Kelly Clarkson Cleavage Fat Jowls Maroon 5 Show
    Commented on this photo:

    She just got finished performing at the Buffet 5.

  44. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Having volley balls implanted does not turn a mug like that into a 10….

  45. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Campaigns take a lot of money. Where on earth is he getting his at this point in the hopeless “elect Weiner for public office” game?

    • Does instagram have a connected PAC?

    • Weiner had already accrued a war chest of $4.3 million in the years prior to his Congressional resignation—money that he had to spend on a campaign by the end of this year or he’d lose access to. His campaign also gets about $1.5 million in matching funds from the NYC Campaign Finance Board if he adheres to set spending limits—which is about $6.4 million. So really, he didn’t have to raise all that much more for this campaign than he already had.

  46. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    Hugh Jazz
    Commented on this photo:

    Twunked – (v) past tense of twerk, to have twerked so much as to have sprained your tweek. “She was so twunked she had to walk bow-legged.”

  47. Alicia Keys Wide Hips Pink Pants GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    THESE HIPS ARE MUCH BROADER!

  48. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty rare to see that outfit outside of a trailer park.

  49. Simon Cowell Lauren Silverman Makeout
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Darling, I love you so much….for now.

  50. Nicolas Cage Panama Hat Sunglasses Venice International Film Festival
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh shit, looks like one wiseass is on the express train to getting CAGED!

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