Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where I give you the gift of this Helen Hunt pic, so you can now tell that annoying friend who keeps trying to get you into yoga to fuck off, Brooke Shields and Molly Shannon have a crazy old lady face-off (Spoiler Alert: Brooke wins.), and Joey Lawrence really needs to learn how to use his dryer. And mirrors. And a thermometer.
You ordered the random Italian bikini chick for today’s Final Five, right? Thought so,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Girl: “This is you: a-DUUUUUHHHHH!”
Zach: “I beg your pardon?”
Boy: “Yeah totally! She’s got you down to a ‘T’!”
Mother: “The kids are right, Zach.”
Zach: (I gotta start doing some fucking dramas…)
“Insanity laughs under pressure…”
Time to dye the hair again, Dame Edna.
He doesn’t seem to age. He always looks exactly the same. Hey, good for him. :-)
He’d better slow down, lay off the booze, and get some rest.
He’s starting to look like DiCaprio!
She must be a giant pain in the ass, because is Lou Diamond Phillips can pull that, there’s something wrong.
Hello wench.
Nip slip or not? Vote below.
Yes
Can’t vote yes
No
Can’t vote no
I don’t think the areola counts as part of the nipple, so I’m gonna vote ‘no’.
Nice tits, though.
unless the whole thing is hanging out, it is a no.
The only reason he got his picture taken was he was walking out of a Chick-fil-A.
Love her, and her white, creamy orbs…
She’s adorable and he looks 75.
One of those rare cases where real hair is worse than a wig.
It’s not really his natural hair. Early on in his career he was yo-yo dieting got real sick and lost all his hair. It’s what got him started on healthy diets and exercise. He had hair plugs done before he was famous. Since he had no hair left on his head they took it from cough..cough.. somewhere else on his body. Yep, thats a full head of Pubes.
The real question is: Is he wearing panty hose?
Thank you for making my point.
You really believe those are all pubes?
Dude, I’m having a hard time believing the existence of this motherfucker – why would I balk on the “headful of crotch lint” minutia?
so wait, the carpet matches the…drapes are carpet…wait. Im so confused
Can’t wait for ‘Lovesick’ to come out on ‘Sraight-to-BluRay’.
So I can laugh, and not rent it.
Man! You always make me laugh out loud!
Thanks, BC…
BTW, your ‘handle’, as it were: “Bionic Crouton”, never ceases to make me chuckle…
“Keep in up and I’ll eat that last one, too.”
If there two more of them, would it be called a ‘murder’.
Now THAT’S the Bar we all know and love!
That self-pic the other day was harsh…
Proof that yoga really does make you look relaxed, fresh and youthful…
No look is complete without the KNC* for this guy!
(*Knitted Douche Cap)
KDC?
Thanks catastrophe. Acronyms make my brain hurt.
But let’s make KDC a part of the common lexicon, shall we?
There are far too many hipsters wearing these year ’round…
Oh shit, I was about to ask if that spray-on hair shit was making a comeback. I didn’t realize it was a KDC. The question is what’s worse?
The KDC, hands down, every time.
It’s even worse than using a ‘Flow-Bee’, man!
“No, these clothes do not come in adult sizes. Why do you ask?”
This is the guy who went after the tabloids and sued them years ago when they claimed he was gay.
Do they get their money back now?
I’d assume that gay guys would find this just as creepy as the rest of us. There are some lines you don’t cross.
I disagree. I think gay guys would find this just FAB-U-LOUS!
False. It’s… unpleasant.
No offense if you’re batting for the other team.
That ass makes those behind her weep.
*sheds tear
Basted Turkey.
What? No stupid hipster look? She actually looks pretty good here.
If a picture paints a thousand words at least 998 of these would be “bitch”
It’s gonna be the next Olympic sport. Foreheading.
“OMG! You’re Joaquin Phoenix!”
It’s Montaro from Mortal Kombat!
this is the best ive seen her look in awhile. normal clothes…im in shock…
She’s finally starting to get weird
Ermagherd! I pers tha bertox!
Oh my, my. She just gets better and better with age. Love her.
I would much prefer Hill Street Blues Jennifer Tilly or The Getaway Jennifer Tilly. Or even Bullets Over Broadway Jennifer Tilly—but she has to do that thing she mentioned where she picks a quarter up off the floor without using her hands.
The first time I ever saw her was on Hill Street Blues and I haven’t slept a wink since.
The Getaway Jennifer Tilly for me.
If anyone can name one right thing in this whole picture i’ll eat my own hat
I see a hand, leg, ear, eye….
The greenery looks well maintained and verdant.
Ketchup?
It’s definitely his color!
“What do you mean no fortune cookie?”
“What kind of Chinese joint is this with no fortune cookies with a name like Mr. Chow?”
“I am the motherfucking Fortune Cookie patrol!”
The under-served celebrity pulley-porn market is finally getting it’s due. I was getting tired of jerking it to old episodes of Mr. Wizard.
looks like she just had sex with a Marvel comics artist.
Insert black microphone joke here:_________________
Go Yankees!!!
I like her but this isn’t her best look.
And this is just his yard work outfit.
She’s hott!
“ERMAGHERRRRD!!!!!! ZALAFANAKIIIUUUUS!!!!!!!!!!”
She looks much better here…i’m diggin the natural look. very refreshing.
I bet if I had an Affleck hate-fucking one kid after another into me, I’d have this look on my face too.
How does one apply for that job? I am asking for a friend.
Cute, but that top is not right for the skirt
I’ve seen less crow’s feet in a murder.
Murder might be an accurate description of what’s going on here.
Brooke is laughing because only she know where the bodies are buried.
Alice Cooper: The Early Years
Before I enlarged it I thought it was Ozzy.
so now we will be saying he is so awesome he will be shitting out rainbows and Lady Gaga’s
I don’t care how old she is. I would still love to see those cans.
why? as soon as they’re freed from that dress they’d sag down to her bellybutton. but hey if that’s what you’re into…
1. I believe we have another Nostradamus here.
2. Aren’t you a bit young to be this cynical?
3. “… they’d sag down to her bellybutton.”
Who gives a shit? It’s fucking Jennifer Tilly, ya bozo!
This isn’t your mother dirtypillows. It’s Jennifer Tilly.
Ugh those pants! They looks so tight and awkward…why do men wear skinny jeans, its so GAY. He does have a nice upper body.
showcased by his baby gap tee.