The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.23.13

August 23rd, 2013 // 420 Comments

Welcome to an unusually large Friday edition of The Crap We Missed. Normally, by the end of the week, my crippling alcholism basically consumes my every waking minute therefore tanking any productivity there isn’t a ton of stuff for TCWM and this gallery is a little light. Well, consider today the exception to that rule, and by exception I of course mean Cesar Milan AND Milla Jovovich each lovingly caressing two totally different sculptural elephant trunks as though they were penises. That’s right. Separately, 1,817 miles from each other (You’re goddamn right I Google-mapped that shit.), they independently decided to stick their faces next to an elephant trunk, because huge dicks are hilarious. I feel like I can finally explain to people what it is I do for a living.

“Ok, yes it’s mostly tits and that part’s key. But, you know how sometimes something will look like a dick, so you pretend to suck it while someone takes a picture? I put all that together and post it to the Internet.” (Hi Mom and Dad!)

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Birdman Lil Wayne BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Ina Bigbush
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m hoping Birdman was a passed out victim of an asshole with a sharpie.

  2. Lady Gaga Hoding Crystal Penis Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry GaGa, even if that crystal is magic, it won’t turn a Skeksis into a Gelfling.

  3. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    LLBL
    Commented on this photo:

    Did you guys notice he is wearing a Kmart hat? He’s just on his way to work.

  4. Kirsten Dunst Cleavage Nipples Huge Boobs Sweaty Workout Clothes
    LLBL
    Commented on this photo:

    One girl, one cup.

  5. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He took a whole bunch of ugly flowery sundresses from the 70′s and made a suit out of them. As for the flipflops, maybe some LSD was left on the fabric. He sure looks…happy.

  6. Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I read the books. Or one of them. There’s some douchebaggery going on with these jackasses.

  7. Julianne Hough Butt Yoga Pants
    LLBL
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gosh you guys, why is the parking robot asleep?”l

  8. Birdman Lil Wayne BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    LLBL
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sheet, I’m high as a mothafucka right now dog.”

  9. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Skirt Ziyi Zhang Extra
    LLBL
    Commented on this photo:

    …Count It!

  10. Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    potato pancake
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see Ellen Degeneres lost some weight.

  11. Cesar Milan Hugging Elephant Trunk
    Commented on this photo:

    I would fuck Cesar so hard a vacuum would form in his balls.

    Oh, and his name has two Ls.

  12. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    I get feeling John could eat a peach for hours.

  13. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s already sick of her shit.

  14. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    So she plays a 50 year old suburban cougar, and he plays a golem?

  15. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    I think her water broke.

  16. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “How much to make her walk a few feet closer to me?”

  17. Milla Jovovich Kissing Elephant Trunk Liverpool Fashion Fest Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, y’gotta open a lot wider than that…”

  18. Lady Gaga Hoding Crystal Penis Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Gaga walking around with a glass replica of my penis in her hands?

  19. Snooki Scared On Rollercoaster
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was gym equipment at first, and was wholly unfazed by the idea that she would make this face whilst using it.

  20. Kirsten Dunst Cleavage Nipples Huge Boobs Sweaty Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember those tits from the Spider-Man movies. I think they fought the Green Goblin at some point.

  21. Claudia Romani Butt Thong Love Your Curves Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a great body, but it’s unfortunate for her ass that she has a face like Ray Romano.

  22. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Unless it’s a map of Hyrule, it’s unacceptable for an outfit pattern to be this busy.

  23. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s every little girl’s dream to grow up to become “Miss Butt”.

  24. Julianne Hough Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    That ass is beautiful.

  25. Snooki Scared On Rollercoaster
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  26. Christina Milian Butt Tight Skirt BeautyCon Opening Day
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking beautiful. So damn sexy.

  27. Claudia Romani Butt Thong Love Your Curves Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    The shirt says it all.

  28. Robin Williams Sarah Michelle Gellar The Crazy Ones Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Sarah is still beautiful.

  29. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Gives new meaning to the phrase: “What is wrong with this picture”.

  30. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Skirt Ziyi Zhang Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Ziyi is aging gracefully. She still looks like she did in Crouching Tiger. @Maria: Dat ass!

  31. Robin Williams Sarah Michelle Gellar The Crazy Ones Set
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take the hot brunette on the right.

  32. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Farrah Abraham was “Miss Butt”?

  33. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    The women are not bad, but I would rather have the car. Then I could have my choice of hot gold diggers.

  34. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    This is actually really smart. You want that meth-mouth look and this is more cost efficient than developing a habit.

  35. Kirsten Dunst Cleavage Nipples Huge Boobs Sweaty Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Such a great rack for such an average everything else.

  36. David Beckham Riding Carousel With His Kids Disneyland
    Commented on this photo:

    “Daddy, why won’t you take our picture? And what is a “bloody fit fanny on that bird”? If mommy sees the pictures again is she gonna get more surgeries?”

  37. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    I'mHUNGRYagain
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t say ‘fat’ … don’t say ‘fat’ … don’t say ‘fat….

  38. Ben Kingsley Turban Dark Beard Learning To Drive Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess Gandhi said “fuck dis starving chit, I am going to clean up and get a job.”

  39. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Meth mouf be da bomb, yo!”

  40. Kirsten Dunst Cleavage Nipples Huge Boobs Sweaty Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Much as I don’t like unnecessary augmentation, fer chrissake woman, throw some collagen in what remains of those lips before they vanish forever!

  41. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    Ina Bigbush
    Commented on this photo:

    October must be Mr. Butt’s time to shine.

  42. Snooki Scared On Rollercoaster
    Commented on this photo:

    “You mean that baby stays with me till it grows all the way UP?

  43. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s bad enough you wore that shirt, wrinkled I might add, with those shoes, but you left the house with NO accessories. We’re not savages.”

  44. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice.

  45. Robin Williams Sarah Michelle Gellar The Crazy Ones Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Carmen Sandiego ponders the fact that Sarah Michelle Gellar just stole her fucking hat and coat.

  46. Snooki Scared On Rollercoaster
    Commented on this photo:

    In a pinch they take her to the top and use her new teeth to guide ships in during bad weather.

  47. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    You know this one’s a keeper because Spade’s actually an inch taller than his girlfriend for a change. But just an inch, so he’s going to keep wearing hats to compensate.

  48. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Steve
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesse Jackson taken the slap hand game very serious… look at that poker face.

  49. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    Steve
    Commented on this photo:

    the price you pay for losing weight.. no longer jolly.

  50. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Steve
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF Prince? First twitter now this…

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