The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.23.13

August 23rd, 2013 // 420 Comments

Welcome to an unusually large Friday edition of The Crap We Missed. Normally, by the end of the week, my crippling alcholism basically consumes my every waking minute therefore tanking any productivity there isn’t a ton of stuff for TCWM and this gallery is a little light. Well, consider today the exception to that rule, and by exception I of course mean Cesar Milan AND Milla Jovovich each lovingly caressing two totally different sculptural elephant trunks as though they were penises. That’s right. Separately, 1,817 miles from each other (You’re goddamn right I Google-mapped that shit.), they independently decided to stick their faces next to an elephant trunk, because huge dicks are hilarious. I feel like I can finally explain to people what it is I do for a living.

“Ok, yes it’s mostly tits and that part’s key. But, you know how sometimes something will look like a dick, so you pretend to suck it while someone takes a picture? I put all that together and post it to the Internet.” (Hi Mom and Dad!)

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s up Madonna?

  2. Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he play David Bowie in the movie too?

  3. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time he lies on the floor, he really ties the room together.

  4. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was an old production still from Barfly.

  5. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    That car gets more miles-per-gallon than their collective IQ.

  6. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere in a galaxy far, far, away C3PO is in a bar telling a story about how he got the best blowjob of his life while on holiday in New York.

  7. Robin Williams Sarah Michelle Gellar The Crazy Ones Set
    Commented on this photo:

    At least they got the name right.

  8. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    The son looks like just as big a douche as his dad.

  9. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone couldn’t play nice in finger-paint time today and is going to spend storytime in the time-out chair.

  10. Milla Jovovich Kissing Elephant Trunk Liverpool Fashion Fest Tour
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck, man. That Jonah Hill just gets all the breaks these days.

  11. Cuba Gooding Jr Holding Caricature Sardis
    Commented on this photo:

    Great picture, if he was a Saudi prince.

  12. Eminem Orgasm Face Onstage Stade De France Paris
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Will the real Slim Shady please read my kid a bedtime story and tell her daddy will be home as soon as he finishes his tour?

  13. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s trying to beat gaga at her own game.

  14. Cesar Milan Hugging Elephant Trunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy crap, I can see my condo in the back.

  15. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Ricky Schroder in the back is mortified.

  16. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll see your Nick Cage covered cubicle and raise you one John Cusack.

  17. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    I was wrong. I thought she would bleed gravy.

  18. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Hotterthenhell
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s hot and she thinks he’s going to stay with her looking like the rag she looks like now? I don’t care if your pregnant, you HAVE to look good for your man! Cara Brotman fb

  19. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    dennis
    Commented on this photo:

    Same suit Pedobear wears when he is hiding in plain sight in hotel hallways.

  20. Robin Williams Sarah Michelle Gellar The Crazy Ones Set
    dennis
    Commented on this photo:

    Same face I make when Robin Williams goes of on one of his comedy tangents filled with different voice impersonations that no one recognizes anymore.

  21. Cesar Milan Hugging Elephant Trunk
    Commented on this photo:

    I doubt this is the only shaft Cesar’s ever had his hands around.

  22. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    That bitch looks fucking scary. Fake assed cunt.

  23. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Skirt Ziyi Zhang Extra
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    The young man in the Dodgers shirt silently cursed his Red Party Grandfather for defecting to America while looking on at what might have been his, if only for the fair price of 1 million per night.

  24. Lady Gaga Hoding Crystal Penis Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like one of the more normal outfits you’ve seen her in until you get to the enormous glass cock. You’ve outdone yourself, Gaga.

  25. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason I want to see a picture of him with Keith Richards and Courtney Stodden.

  26. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    sweetdickwillie
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck. Just. Plain. Fuck. (from a guy writing snarky remarks from the basement of his mom’s house).

  27. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I get the feeling he can see me through the picture?

  28. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I would do nasty things to this young lady.

  29. Cesar Milan Hugging Elephant Trunk
    Karl Rove
    Commented on this photo:

    FAP FAP FAP

  30. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    why is her ass so big?

  31. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am starting to think that’s not a tumor at ALL”

  32. Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    I see they shortened the movie title. It used to end with “City of Bones, and not a Vaj in Sight.”

  33. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Jesse lost a bet…probably about whether Obama would fuck it up or not.

  34. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Skirt Ziyi Zhang Extra
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not racist when you mock your own.

  35. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi tech support? Yeah, I put the virtual reality goggles on her like the instruction said, but she can still tell it’s me. I don’t think the George Clooney profile is loading properly”

  36. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    So is this is Nicolas Cage biopic?

  37. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks frightened, like the movie Misery level frightened.

  38. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Joy
    Commented on this photo:

    John’s looking rough.

  39. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Douchbag, wig and girlfriend/gold digger/long term prostitute.

  40. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    popwilleatitself
    Commented on this photo:

    Unwashed up.

  41. Lady Gaga Hoding Crystal Penis Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere there is a unicorn missing a penis.

  42. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, no, this is awful.

  43. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Joy
    Commented on this photo:

    ♫ So happy together ♫……

  44. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    popwilleatitself
    Commented on this photo:

    Dantana’s, I presume.

  45. Rihanna Nipples No Bra Pot Leaf Purse
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she join a convent? That is the most amount of clothes and the least amount of marijuana paraphernalia that I’ve seen on her.

  46. Julianne Hough Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    One fine piece of work there.

  47. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, this dude is still alive?

  48. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    Commented on this photo:

    “Goddamnit, for the last time, I am not Jonah Hill, he is a serious actor, that knows serious people”.

  49. Snooki Scared On Rollercoaster
    Commented on this photo:

    You know we are all secretly hoping the harness would come loose and she would be ejected.

  50. Christina Milian Butt Tight Skirt BeautyCon Opening Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, I will do you at least two times.

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