The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.23.13

August 23rd, 2013 // 420 Comments

Welcome to an unusually large Friday edition of The Crap We Missed. Normally, by the end of the week, my crippling alcholism basically consumes my every waking minute therefore tanking any productivity there isn’t a ton of stuff for TCWM and this gallery is a little light. Well, consider today the exception to that rule, and by exception I of course mean Cesar Milan AND Milla Jovovich each lovingly caressing two totally different sculptural elephant trunks as though they were penises. That’s right. Separately, 1,817 miles from each other (You’re goddamn right I Google-mapped that shit.), they independently decided to stick their faces next to an elephant trunk, because huge dicks are hilarious. I feel like I can finally explain to people what it is I do for a living.

“Ok, yes it’s mostly tits and that part’s key. But, you know how sometimes something will look like a dick, so you pretend to suck it while someone takes a picture? I put all that together and post it to the Internet.” (Hi Mom and Dad!)

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    Commented on this photo:

    If he can hold out 4 more months, he is #1 on my 2014 dead pool.

  2. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm. This photo doesn’t really showcase her butt at all.

  3. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuckin clown. If you screwed her, big chunks of plastic and saline bags would just start falling off everywhere.

  4. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    Commented on this photo:

    this looks EXACTLY like what I expect any street corner in West Hollywood to look like.

  5. Cuba Gooding Jr Holding Caricature Sardis
    Commented on this photo:

    so what, you sit down for a caricature and the guy draws what you’d look like with better facial hair?

  6. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t get too far away, Brian. We wouldn’t want to set the ankle stunners off again, now would we?

  7. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    Both had a long career making people laugh.

  8. Milla Jovovich Kissing Elephant Trunk Liverpool Fashion Fest Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    “And this is how I transitioned from modeling to acting.”

  9. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    She is omnipresent and overrated

  10. Birdman Lil Wayne BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d make a crack about “poor ghetto trash” but they’re worth over $300 million between the two of them, so instead I’ll just say “May I get either of you gentlemen a drink?”

  11. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, is this dial-a-slut? Yeah, it’s Spade. I’m going to need another replacement.

  12. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Trek Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture grosses me out for some reason. Blech…

  13. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    If you drop acid, this is what burning curry and incense LOOKS like.

  14. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Madonna looks weird. I wonder if that grill messes with her accent.

  15. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF…sandles???

  16. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    ididnotdodat
    Commented on this photo:

    #Teef
    #Dead……………..

  17. Kirsten Dunst Cleavage Nipples Huge Boobs Sweaty Workout Clothes
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    We’ll always have Melancholia …

  18. Birdman Lil Wayne BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    These two have more money than I could make in ten lifetimes. THESE two. Slavery guilt is officially over with now.

  19. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Class buys gold commodities.

    Trash buys gold grills.

  20. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    Commented on this photo:

    The life of a repo man is always intense.

  21. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    am I the only one that sees the penis necklace?

  22. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey i’m 46 looking to tap the undiscerning youth market. I’m Juvenile!

  23. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s looked the same for 87 years.

  24. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    The audience was handing her more clothes to put on.

  25. Kirsten Dunst Cleavage Nipples Huge Boobs Sweaty Workout Clothes
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    “I need $10 million and I’ll be in your movie”

    “We’ll give you a Slushie and a sandwich from craft services.”

    “I’ll see you on set!”

  26. Cuba Gooding Jr Holding Caricature Sardis
    ididnotdodat
    Commented on this photo:

    hahahahahahahahahah

    on the floor cannot get up from laughing

    hahahahahaha

    pure phuckery at its finest

  27. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen modeling the regimen that has kept him looking so young these past 156 years

  28. Birdman Lil Wayne BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    Lil Wayne is moonlighting as an orderly.

  29. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I would say he’s looking rough, but he’s looked like that since he was in his 20′s.

  30. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t want to know what is going on with her backside to cause the expression on that fellow behind her . . . I just don’t want to know.

  31. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    ididnotdodat
    Commented on this photo:

    grandma called,

    She wants her tablecloth and drapes back pronto buddy!!!!

  32. Ben Kingsley Turban Dark Beard Learning To Drive Set
    Commented on this photo:

    You bunch of racists. I bet next one of you will say that he and 4 guys that looked just like him raped the white girl in the sunglasses to death right after this was taken. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

  33. Cuba Gooding Jr Holding Caricature Sardis
    Commented on this photo:

    Show me the Monet!

  34. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Andthenthebitchsaystome”wedon’tservebrunchafter12″andI’malllike”doyouyouknowwhoIamhoney”?

  35. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    ididnotdodat
    Commented on this photo:

    #hoesbewinning……………………..

  36. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    What comes after Z-list?

  37. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh good, I’m glad they mention that they have an article on Aula de Historia on the cover. Because that’s what is going to convince me to buy this magazine. That.

  38. Snooki Scared On Rollercoaster
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironically, that’s the exact same look I had on my face when I tried to watch Jersey Shore.

  39. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Title of portrait: Breakfast of Champions

  40. Cuba Gooding Jr Holding Caricature Sardis
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, where are you hanging it?”

    “The alley.”

  41. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Brian, remember that joke diaphragm I got from Spencer’s? What a riot!.”

    “Yeah. Hardy-fuckin’-har.”

  42. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s pronounced ‘keenwa’, thank you very much!”

  43. Birdman Lil Wayne BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I love it when they debate the contradictions between Einstein’s classic physics model vs. the string theory of modern quantum physics. You just learn so much just from listening to them, you know?

  44. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Will never understand the amount of ass this clowndick has pulled in his day. Then again I’ve always been anonymous and poor.

  45. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the bastard that stole my rug!!! Hey, asshole, I need that back! It really tied the room together.

  46. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    Its so refreshing to see women love a man for who he is, not what he has.

    http://abcnews.go.com/entertainment/t/blogEntry?id=15971428

    Oh, never mind.

  47. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    Nic! Hey Nic! Hey smile for the camera Ni…oops.

  48. Robin Williams Sarah Michelle Gellar The Crazy Ones Set
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor girls thought he was just ACTING crazy on set.

  49. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the wig attached to the hat, or does that hat just sit up on top of the wig?

  50. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the look of “I’m heading to my trailer to masturbate.”

Leave A Comment