The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.23.13

August 23rd, 2013 // 420 Comments

Welcome to an unusually large Friday edition of The Crap We Missed. Normally, by the end of the week, my crippling alcholism basically consumes my every waking minute therefore tanking any productivity there isn’t a ton of stuff for TCWM and this gallery is a little light. Well, consider today the exception to that rule, and by exception I of course mean Cesar Milan AND Milla Jovovich each lovingly caressing two totally different sculptural elephant trunks as though they were penises. That’s right. Separately, 1,817 miles from each other (You’re goddamn right I Google-mapped that shit.), they independently decided to stick their faces next to an elephant trunk, because huge dicks are hilarious. I feel like I can finally explain to people what it is I do for a living.

“Ok, yes it’s mostly tits and that part’s key. But, you know how sometimes something will look like a dick, so you pretend to suck it while someone takes a picture? I put all that together and post it to the Internet.” (Hi Mom and Dad!)

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesse! We need to cook meth.

  2. Eminem Orgasm Face Onstage Stade De France Paris
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Slane girl not seen in photo.

  3. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    john
    Commented on this photo:

    I literally just came on my screen

  4. Claudia Romani Butt Thong Love Your Curves Shirt
    john
    Commented on this photo:

    I literally just came on my screen

  5. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    A human balloon animal.

  6. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Even her beautiful smile can’t save Nick Cage’s latest flop.

  7. Cesar Milan Hugging Elephant Trunk
    Commented on this photo:

    The dogs on an elephant whisperer.

  8. Milla Jovovich Kissing Elephant Trunk Liverpool Fashion Fest Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Totally biting Cesar’s style.

  9. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    Viagra deal.

  10. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was Courtney Stodden.

  11. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    So, Drake really is gay. (Get it? Cause when he shot his load all over her, the colors of the rainbow came out. Jeez.)

  12. Ben Kingsley Turban Dark Beard Learning To Drive Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Learning to Drive a VBIED.

  13. Lady Gaga Hoding Crystal Penis Posing With Fans
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters after she gets possessed.

    Although I don’t remember the glass dildo part.

  14. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s going to drop her off at Wal-Mart.

  15. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    David Spade is banging Geordi LaForge?

  16. John Cusack Menacing Look Elizabeth Banks Smiling
    Commented on this photo:

    The gaydar is strong in this one.

  17. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe the technical term for those is “teef.”

  18. Kirsten Dunst Cleavage Nipples Huge Boobs Sweaty Workout Clothes
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG! She bought herself some titties! :)

  19. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Skylar…Get out of the pool!!!

  20. Milla Jovovich Kissing Elephant Trunk Liverpool Fashion Fest Tour
    pffff
    Commented on this photo:

    “hey guys, you want to see this disappear?”

  21. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    Sigh.

  22. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a man completely satisfied with his life choices…

  23. Cuba Gooding Jr Holding Caricature Sardis
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    They put this on a special wall under the heading…

    “Do Not Accept Checks From This Man.”

  24. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    This one’s easy folks: either lady gaga or Richard Simmons jizzed on her.

  25. Michele McLaughlin Cooper Hefner Kara Monaco Playboy Mansion
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Rich Man’s Corey Feldman.

  26. Christina Milian Butt Tight Skirt BeautyCon Opening Day
    pff
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, not the fist. But this two finger fit very well.”

  27. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    “You told me there would be free fudge pops at this thing.”
    “And I didn’t lie, Jesse. Shake my hand for the cameras and I’ll give you all the fudge pops you want. Deal?”
    “Ok but it better be for real this time”

  28. Milla Jovovich Kissing Elephant Trunk Liverpool Fashion Fest Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn. I was hoping to see some camel toe.

  29. Robert Sheehan The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    sdf
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s unbelieveble I know, but I’ve seen doucher things on this website.

  30. Snooki Scared On Rollercoaster
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    You’d think she’d be used to being put in a car seat by now.

  31. Ben Kingsley Turban Dark Beard Learning To Drive Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Learning to drive a VBED

  32. Ben Kingsley Turban Dark Beard Learning To Drive Set
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    On his way to wardrobe before going to hair and makeup.

  33. Robin Williams Sarah Michelle Gellar The Crazy Ones Set
    Hefarted
    Commented on this photo:

    “oh oh girls, you better hold your breath. I did it again.”

  34. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    “Told you one of yours would end up in jail first—that’ll be $50.”

  35. Juvenile Gold Grill BMI R&B/Hip-Hop Awards
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Really? THAT shirt?

  36. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Earl Scheib will bukkake any girl, for only $99.95

  37. Harry Dean Stanton Smoking Cigarette Drinking Whiskey Portrait Session
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    The artist had better paint fast.

  38. Rihanna Nipples No Bra Pot Leaf Purse
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are those people so happy to see her? What’s with everybody?

  39. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Skirt Ziyi Zhang Extra
    whatanass
    Commented on this photo:

    “Believe me Mauia, In China women aue this flat.”

  40. Christina Milian Butt Tight Skirt BeautyCon Opening Day
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t lie… Snooki’s ass looks amazing.

  41. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Dick Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    You already killed Kurt , Do you really have to take Walter White as well .

  42. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    “You SEEEE, you put the cheddar chEEEEze in the chili BOwl! Then you got the ONIONS, and you get them in there!”

  43. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Bikini Body Paint Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Paintball – epic failure.

  44. Miss Butt Brazil Model Andressa Urach Bikini Sexy Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, we got the winner instead of the runner-up this time. Way to go, Photo Boy!

    Either that, or Fish increased your budget. Either way, well done!

  45. Jesse Jackson Bill Cosby Shaking Hands Bens Chili Bowl 55th Anniversary
    Commented on this photo:

    Something tells me there was lots of spittle involved in this conversation.

  46. Jamie Campbell Bower The Mortal Instruments City Of Bones Madrid Premiere
    Kris Jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    I could have sworn that was Peter Puffer

  47. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she still behind me?

  48. Courtney Love Taking Off Blouse Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Performing what?

  49. Jerry Ferrara Pissed Off Screaming
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit! Everywhere I go, Turtle this! Turtle that! I’d like to finally be known as someone other than that idiotic character on that idiotic show.

    Umm… I just asked what time it was.

  50. David Spade Kmart Hat Random Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice effort, Douchebag.

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