The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.22.14

August 22nd, 2014 // Leave a Comment

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which I’m slapping together as fast as humanly possible while we’re still up until Sandy Brown and The Yawning Clam inevitably roll us under again. So here’s Joe Jonas at a churrascaria, a place where you shove an unending supply of meat into your face until you beg them to stop bringing it, so heaven, he’s in heaven. Then there’s Josh Brolin responding to the question “How’d you think Oldboy came out?” and jesus christ another vagina flash?! *watches smoke pour out of USB ports*

Tell my family I love them and if you guys tell them exactly what “digital publishing” I was involved with I swear I’ll haunt you so hard,

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

superficial

  1. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Eejut
    Commented on this photo:

    Mission Impossible 5: Vagina

  2. Jennette McCurdy Cleavage See Through Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    …the door is open, sweetie …i cleared a drawer for you in my dresser.

  3. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Commented on this photo:

    Brucer Jenner has better tits than this bitch…

  4. Ali Larter Cleavage Baby Bump Pampers Celebrates Fun Morning Moments Event
    Commented on this photo:

    …possibly the hottest pregnant chick ever.

  5. Hayley Hasselhoff OK! TV Pre Awards Party Honoring Emmy Nominees
    Commented on this photo:

    …would.

  6. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    “so we both have dicks and fake boobs… what should we do now?

  7. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    “tribal tattoos will never go out of style” – This Guy in 2004

    • Michael Buble

      I see them on people who actually have tribal heritage e.g. Maoris, Polynesians, but even still, this looks like bargain-bin quality compared to the ones I see.

  8. Coco Butt Thong String Bikini Squat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    How does she keep her shit in always squatting like that?

  9. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    …one of the first things they teach strippers is to never tell customers you have a boyfriend, it ruins the illusion you’re “available” …stupid lewin.

  10. Lady Gaga Butt Fishnets Being Held Up By Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    You know it’s time for a diet when yer pantyhoes start splitting right off yer ass..,.

  11. Hayley Hasselhoff OK! TV Pre Awards Party Honoring Emmy Nominees
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the dumb hat?

  12. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    photoshop — image — crop selection

  13. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy looks like he’s got smelly knees…

  14. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Commented on this photo:

    Mission Impossible 5
    Heterosexuality 0

  15. Maitland Ward Cleavage Foam Chainsaw Sharknado 2 The Second One LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    … why am I suddenly thinking about “Heathers”???

  16. Lady Gaga Butt Fishnets Being Held Up By Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Punk rock’s not dead.

  17. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is just it me, or do I taste some Joe Jonas?”

  18. Nicki Minaj Spider Woman Buttcrack String Thong Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuck the both of them.

  19. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Director: So Tom, in this next scene you will be climbing the top of the highest building in the world with nothing but fishing wire as a safety.

    Tom: Jesus Christ, how much more of this crap do I have to put up with until I reach Level 19 and can leave this shithole with Xenu.

  20. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Obviously that’s not right. She also has time to photoshop all the pics she takes. Now THAT is what takes up the majority of her time.

  21. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says “nice guy” like being “all roided up”
    and showcasing a tribal “porn-star” tattoo
    running from your elbow to your ear.

    • Marketing Mike

      Dating a guy that’s this “roided up”
      is like having a tattoo on your forehead
      that says “PLEASE HIT ME, AGAIN!”.

      • Steroids

        …stallone, the rock, arnie, vin, mickey, ferrigno, and hogan have all used me extensively and have zero incidents of beating women, or anyone for that matter …i’m sick of all the abuse i’m subjected to in these comments …you’re all just a bunch of anti-ergogenites!

  22. Coco Butt Thong String Bikini Squat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    This has definitely been the assiest week in Superficial history. In other words, it was the best week ever!

  23. Coco Butt Thong String Bikini Squat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to see Coco and Nicki Minaj go ass to ass “Requiem for a Dream” style.

  24. Josh Brolin Screaming Daughter Eden Sin City A Dame To Kill For Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    Seeing a grown man being bitch slapped by his daughter in public was embarrassing for all involved.

  25. Kate Moss Bikini
    boobooloo
    Commented on this photo:

    And this kids, is why we stay on heroin.

  26. Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Vagina Flash Upskirt Cleavage Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    I spy with my little eye some vag.

  27. Emily Ratajkowski Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Every inch of her is perfect.

  28. Maitland Ward Cleavage Foam Chainsaw Sharknado 2 The Second One LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t give a fuck, I’d get in dat ass.

  29. Josh Brolin Screaming Daughter Eden Sin City A Dame To Kill For Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m just kidding! Shia’s not the father.”

  30. Irina Shayk Side Boob Hercules European Premiere Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s actually rather cool of her.

  31. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Kanye Shirt
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Stalking Leo did not work out so he has moved on to Kanye now?

  32. Tulisa Contostavlos Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Her blowjob tape was fucking awesome.

  33. Jeremy Renner Derpface
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    “Joe Jonas won’t be able to escape this time”

  34. Kate Moss Bikini
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Still trying to figure out how this chick was ever a supermodel at any point in her life?

  35. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking sexy. I would.

  36. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Roids, it’s what’s for dinner or for lunch this time.

  37. Coco Butt Thong String Bikini Squat Instagram
    Meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    #fatkini

  38. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Unicorn Instaram
    Commented on this photo:

    That was sweet of SJP to go as her date!

  39. Jennette McCurdy Cleavage See Through Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking sexy. If those lingerie pics, didn’t convince you, nothing will. Her body is fucking tight.

  40. Nicki Minaj Spider Woman Buttcrack String Thong Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like a penis…both ends.

  41. Josh Brolin Screaming Daughter Eden Sin City A Dame To Kill For Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dad? DAD! No, you are not Thanos, that’s just a character you were hired to play!”

  42. Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Vagina Flash Upskirt Cleavage Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see her balls.

  43. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Kanye Shirt
    Willeeee
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Beverly Hills is in Jonah Hill.

  44. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Unicorn Instaram
    Commented on this photo:

    One of these is fake as fuck…the other is a unicorn.

  45. Kate Moss Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking more like Kate Mold.

  46. Ali Larter Cleavage Baby Bump Pampers Celebrates Fun Morning Moments Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, a celebrity that got bigger tits the natural way.

  47. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    DoubleD
    Commented on this photo:

    Can a kneecap get syphilis?

  48. Hayley Hasselhoff OK! TV Pre Awards Party Honoring Emmy Nominees
    Commented on this photo:

    Umm…Xenu cosplay?

  49. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know you love pink protein, I love pink protein too”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N60utqXf5HQ

  50. Coco Butt Thong String Bikini Squat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d rather hear about famous babies vaping than have to look at this cartoon character every day.

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