The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.22.14

August 22nd, 2014 // Leave a Comment

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which I’m slapping together as fast as humanly possible while we’re still up until Sandy Brown and The Yawning Clam inevitably roll us under again. So here’s Joe Jonas at a churrascaria, a place where you shove an unending supply of meat into your face until you beg them to stop bringing it, so heaven, he’s in heaven. Then there’s Josh Brolin responding to the question “How’d you think Oldboy came out?” and jesus christ another vagina flash?! *watches smoke pour out of USB ports*

Tell my family I love them and if you guys tell them exactly what “digital publishing” I was involved with I swear I’ll haunt you so hard,

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

superficial

  1. Jennette McCurdy Cleavage See Through Tank Top
    FarrahAbrahamsDaughter
    Commented on this photo:

    New use for Tupperware: Airtight dildo storage.

  2. Tulisa Contostavlos Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Kim Kardashian if you subtracted 90 pounds and added one human soul.

  3. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she does literally nothing else with her time. And I think the entire world is just fine with that.

  4. Lady Gaga Butt Fishnets Being Held Up By Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Drunk, fat and stupid is no way to go thru life, lady.”

  5. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Unicorn Instaram
    FarrahAbrahamsDaughter
    Commented on this photo:

    Please support your local ASPCA as they fight to end horse humiliation.

  6. Irina Shayk Side Boob Hercules European Premiere Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    Quality sideboob.

  7. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Unicorn Instaram
    Don Draper's Dad
    Commented on this photo:

    so THAT’S how they keep Hef alive!

  8. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Unicorn Instaram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure she’d rather fuck that horse than her “husband.”

  9. Nicki Minaj Spider Woman Buttcrack String Thong Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    the torso is the most realistic part of this photo.

  10. Kate Moss Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    How much would it cost for the paparazzi to NOT take her photograph?

  11. Hayley Hasselhoff OK! TV Pre Awards Party Honoring Emmy Nominees
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s looks like a very stable and sensible person.

  12. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Kanye Shirt
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, nice try. You still look crazy as fuck.

  13. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    I love Tom Cruise (of course not in “his” way)
    But dude really needs a bra for those man-boobs.

  14. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    Ink like that is his way of announcing to the world: “I’m a gigantic douchebag and have never technically been convicted of rape.”

  15. Lady Gaga Butt Fishnets Being Held Up By Fans
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a photo-op, or did they just pick her up off the sidewalk?

  16. Kate Moss Bikini
    FarrahAbrahamsDaughter
    Commented on this photo:

    With that gut, I think she’ll finally be able to float.

  17. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    ah, young innocent love. Such natural, unstaged affection and coitus.

    Or two sculpted gay people with the same agent.

  18. Hayley Hasselhoff OK! TV Pre Awards Party Honoring Emmy Nominees
    FarrahAbrahamsDaughter
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move Patricia Arquette!

  19. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess, he’ll be hanging from somewhere, run like a stabbed rat, and he’ll be betrayed by someone at some point.

  20. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Kieth
    Commented on this photo:

    Pec implants.

  21. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    Those Lewin are always 100% better without a boyfriend/husband/whatever-that-guy is around.

  22. Maitland Ward Cleavage Foam Chainsaw Sharknado 2 The Second One LA Premiere
    Rico Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I keep asking this question every time I see her. Why does she keep getting invited to events? She is barely D-List and she hasn’t worked in like 6-7 years.

    • Tits.

      This has been another episode of Easy Answers to Stupid Questions.

      See you tomorrow.

    • Jimmy

      Do you see those cans? If you have a premiere, you need a big-titted woman to pose in front the promo curtain so the promotion gets published on The Superficial and elsewhere. This chick apparently will show up and pose for free. Win/win. No one is going to see that backdrop if there some hairy producer posing in front of it.

    • FarrahAbrahamsDaughter

      Maybe because the event organizers are just the right age to think of her on Boy Meets World.

  23. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Kanye Shirt
    On the other hand
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a good shirt for a fat guy. Don’t know why. Much netter than that open Hawaiian fat guy look.

  24. Maitland Ward Cleavage Foam Chainsaw Sharknado 2 The Second One LA Premiere
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    I would use that chainsaw to chop her head off and take the rest home.

  25. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Kanye Shirt
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    Jonah smash car!… by sitting on it, in it, leaning on it, looking at it.

  26. Jennette McCurdy Cleavage See Through Tank Top
    Rico Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Great example of how leaked cell phone pics can increase awareness. I had never heard of her prior to her leaked pics. Since the release of the pics I have googled her, listened to her on the nerdist podcast and even watched an episode of her show. I look forward to seeing those tits in a movie or on hbo in a few years.

  27. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Commented on this photo:

    “These pecs aren’t bad, but can I get a Bruce Jenner instead?”

  28. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    All I can think about is Idiocracy.

  29. Joe Jonas At Brazillian Steakhouse With Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t wait to get your meat in my mouth– I mean, *THIS* meat!”

  30. Maitland Ward Cleavage Foam Chainsaw Sharknado 2 The Second One LA Premiere
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Maitland is wearing me down…
    Till now I’ve just looked the other way
    but damn, she looks good in this dress.

  31. Coco Butt Thong String Bikini Squat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she just walk around like that? I don’t think I’ve seen her *not* squat in a photo.

  32. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    I should be running…

  33. Tom Cruise Sweaty Confused Look Mission Impossible 5 Set Vienna
    Commented on this photo:

    His sweat says he’s been running, but his eyes say the gay thoughts caught up

  34. Coco Butt Thong String Bikini Squat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    …yes, i will be photoshopping my smiling face directly under those magnificent cheeks …hold all my calls.

  35. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Unicorn Instaram
    Commented on this photo:

    Tanya Tate and a unicorn. I’d buy that for a dollar.

  36. Dwayne The Rock Johnson Riding Chariot Hercules European Premiere Berlin
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

  37. Dwayne The Rock Johnson Riding Chariot Hercules European Premiere Berlin
    Art Crow
    Commented on this photo:

    Ellen wears a dress for once and the Rock is shocked.

  38. Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Vagina Flash Upskirt Cleavage Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    …meow. (said with an english accent)

  39. Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Vagina Flash Upskirt Cleavage Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see her Horgan

  40. Emily Ratajkowski Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    …is it just me, or, does she sometimes look like an alien-human hybrid? (not that it’s a bad thing)

  41. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Hi my name is Joe….and I do Alpha Male Shit.

  42. Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Vagina Flash Upskirt Cleavage Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Ryan Seacrest work up the courage to touch another vagina?

  43. Michelle Lewin Bikini Humping Dude In Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    “Care for a glass of Klingon blood?”

  44. Hayley Hasselhoff OK! TV Pre Awards Party Honoring Emmy Nominees
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t wanna look like a weirdo. I’ll just go with the muumuu.”

  45. Maitland Ward Cleavage Foam Chainsaw Sharknado 2 The Second One LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s my favorite butterface. slamming body, but if you put a bag over her head it would look like you supersized an order of french fries.

  46. Maitland Ward Cleavage Foam Chainsaw Sharknado 2 The Second One LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    …i don’t wanna hear anymore shit about my love of Coco from any of you fuckers who lose your shit day after day over this homely, boney, greasy-faced fame-whore with bad bolt-ons. (by the way; that “look” you keep interpreting as crazy, it’s not crazy, it’s vapid …which i guess would also work to serve your purposes)

    • Marketing Mike

      Maitland may be a “crazy bitch” but those
      are the best looking bolt-ons I’ve ever seen.
      It’s not like CoCo isn’t wearing a set too.
      I’ve seen pictures before the surgery.

    • Yeah but Coco is gross though. Like really gross. Like puke blood out your asshole gross. This girl might be a bit gross, but she doesn’t look like she’s stuffed with well-fed Amazon River leeches wrapped in bacon, as Coco does.

  47. Jeremy Renner Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    “…picket fence, barbed wire fence, chain link fence… that’s about it”

  48. Goldie Hawn Nipples Cleavage See Through Tank Top Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    …still better than maitland ward.

  49. Lady Gaga Butt Fishnets Being Held Up By Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    …i’ll say it again; she’s got a great ass.

  50. Lady Gaga Butt Fishnets Being Held Up By Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    You wouldn’t be blamed for thinking it was Lindsay Lohan, but the lack of a slimy trail behind her puts that to rest.

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