The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.16.13

August 16th, 2013 // 399 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that hopefully doesn’t sound too wasted since I accidentally polished off the six-pack of Zima I was gonna bring to this post‘s house. But it’s just about the weekend and 1DERECTIONFAN69 has some Snapchatting to do, so here’s today’s selections. We’ve got Luke Wilson about to experience the passionate thrill of that time your great aunt slipped you the tongue at Thanksgiving, Jonah Hill‘s BFFL, Val Kilmer about to pound some Cunth, and Kevin Smith dying of heatstroke.

“We just wanted to warn her about talking to strangers online,” Fish and I will one day say in a deposition,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Richard Greico Abstract Emotionalism Paintings Show
    Commented on this photo:

    When they referred to Grieco as a painter, I thought they meant houses.

  2. Val Kilmer Getting Out Of Porsche With Young Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Does a new Porsche come with the jailbait standard or is it optional?

  3. Helen Hunt Kissing Luke Wilson Ride Set
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Close your eyes and think of someone younger, close your eyes and think of someone younger…

  4. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Cleavage Jason Statham Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the Derp Olympics is in full swing.

  5. Kevin Smith Hugely Overweight Sweating Walking Tiny Dog
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    “There’s a fat man in the bathtub with the blue…..”

    Check out his tiny Little Feat!

  6. Kevin Smith Hugely Overweight Sweating Walking Tiny Dog
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That thing about people looking like their dogs? Yea, not so much.

  7. Helen Hunt Kissing Luke Wilson Ride Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom! Dad! Gross.”

  8. Val Kilmer Getting Out Of Porsche With Young Woman
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Hurry Robin, to the Fat Cave! We’ve gotta’ get this food in the Fatfridge before it spoils!

  9. Hilaria Baldwin Huge Pregnant Cleavage Belly Button Sheer Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alec honey, if you wont come out, at least slide your credit card under the door so I can go out and enjoy our marriage”

  10. Matt Bomer French Bulldog Looking At Crotch White Collar Set
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Heh, that dog looks funny…he’s got no nose…

  11. Leonardo DiCaprio Playing Tennis In Blue Slippers
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says “proficient at tennis” than a pair of slip-on shoes.

  12. Gwyneth Paltrow Bikini Stella McCartney Instagram
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Her flesh overcoat is peeling away and revealing the serpentine skin beneath! See girls, this is what happens when you don’t do a weekly juice cleanse detox!!

  13. Melanie Griffith Saggy Butt Tight Leather Pants Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking so lifelike

  14. Ashley Greene Butt Daisy Dukes Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Boner

  15. Beyonce Legs Short Shorts Gold Headband
    Commented on this photo:

    And the Mary J. Blige era has officially begun.

  16. Courtney Love Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Boner gone

  17. Richard Greico Abstract Emotionalism Paintings Show
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    In Hollywood its called ‘abstract emotionalism painting’ but everywhere else its called ‘unemployment’.

  18. Kevin Smith Hugely Overweight Sweating Walking Tiny Dog
    Commented on this photo:

    Love this caption

  19. Sharon Osbourne Ozzy Osbourne Bewildered Look On Face
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Ozzie! The car’s this way!

    hazza freega blorgmaframa

  20. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Licking Lolipop
    Commented on this photo:

    Subtle

  21. Richard Greico Abstract Emotionalism Paintings Show
    Qmak
    Commented on this photo:

    21 Chump Street

  22. Cee Lo Green Paint Stained Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    Where do rotund midgets buy clothes?

  23. Hilaria Baldwin Huge Pregnant Cleavage Belly Button Sheer Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a couple of more months and her retirement planning will be complete.

  24. Val Kilmer Getting Out Of Porsche With Young Woman
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey mister, don’t steal that! Its my lunch!”
    “Uhm . . . I’m Batman?”

  25. Tim McGraw Skinny Torso Duracell Quantum Heroes Video Series Launch FDNY Firehouse Engine 33
    Commented on this photo:

    We still know your bald.

  26. Alexa Ray Joel Bikini Christie Brinkley Boat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    People assume that Christie Brinkley’s daughter was just going to be beautiful, forgetting she had to overcome Billy Joel’s mole man genetics.

  27. Beyonce Legs Short Shorts Gold Headband
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    If she’s really naming herself after Bran, I see why she’s going around with a portable toilet seat.

  28. Angelina Jolie Nipples New Breast Implants Son Maddox
    Commented on this photo:

    Maddox has the movie star pout down pat. ACTIVATE: BLUE STEEL!

    Now…when are Maddox and Jaden Smith going to get together to make that summer blockbuster we’ve all been waiting for: Butch and Sundance: The Middle School Years?

  29. Cuba Gooding Jr Dipping Lara Spencer GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    She was laughing until she realized that the downturn in Cuba’s career had led to his selling white women to the Russian mafia for sexual slavery.

  30. Val Kilmer Getting Out Of Porsche With Young Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Val’s looking thinner…that new cleansing diet he’s on it working. Six more months and he’ll be back to fighting trim.

    Say what you will, this man is a very good actor.

  31. Matt Bomer French Bulldog Looking At Crotch White Collar Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Matt Bomer is gay.

    Which proves there is no God. None. We are alone in this desolate, deity-forsaken universe.

    And if I’m wrong, and there *is* a God: screw you, Supreme Deity. Why did you have to make this one gay?

  32. Melanie Griffith Saggy Butt Tight Leather Pants Jimmy Kimmel Live
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Still Do-Able, Barely……

  33. Tim McGraw Skinny Torso Duracell Quantum Heroes Video Series Launch FDNY Firehouse Engine 33
    Commented on this photo:

    Spray tanning and teeth whitening was an important part of the original cowboys lifestyle.

  34. Alexa Ray Joel Bikini Christie Brinkley Boat Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Alexa Ray is beautiful. Most movie stars are not “conventionally beautiful”–conventional and perfect is boring. Look at the biggest movie stars of the past 75 years and they all had flaws.

  35. Sharon Osbourne Ozzy Osbourne Bewildered Look On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t do drugs, kids.

  36. Cee Lo Green Paint Stained Hoodie
    Qmak
    Commented on this photo:

    No wonder she’s driving around town with another guy.

  37. Tim McGraw Skinny Torso Duracell Quantum Heroes Video Series Launch FDNY Firehouse Engine 33
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not a hat, it’s a guacamole dip bowl being badly misused.

  38. Nikki Lund Cleavage Richie Sambora Business Partner
    Commented on this photo:

    She is his partner in the Richie Sambora short-term wiener storage business.

  39. Courtney Love Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    The Botox is fresh with this one.

  40. Cee Lo Green Paint Stained Hoodie
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    seems to paint facades is his best work….

  41. Cee Lo Green Paint Stained Hoodie
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “To save young black men in this hood, I just went in that store and ate all the Skittles. Dawg.”

  42. Werner Hertzog 66th Locarno Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Werner doing his impersonation of “Elderly Man Working the Drive-Thru at McDonald’s”.

    Seriously, check out his documentary on texting while driving. Riveting and unforgettable.

    I’m texting this while driving by the way, but no worries, I’m an excellent dri–

  43. Gwyneth Paltrow Bikini Stella McCartney Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I, for one, like this picture. Mostly because I’m pretending she jumped out of a 3 story building and this shot was taken the moment before impact.

  44. Kevin Smith Hugely Overweight Sweating Walking Tiny Dog
    Commented on this photo:

    Kevin out doing his weekly 10 meter marathon.

    Just kidding. He only does Dr. Who Marathons.

    (You guys do realize he’s the original inspiration for Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons, right?)

  45. Kelly Brook Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Correct!

  46. Val Kilmer Getting Out Of Porsche With Young Woman
    tombstone rocks
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m your huckleberry” Love him…the girl deal IS creepy though

  47. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Licking Lolipop
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Stranger with unmarked van who owns an isolated rural cabin.

  48. Richard Greico Abstract Emotionalism Paintings Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Street magic really is the lowest form of entertainment.

  49. Gwyneth Paltrow Bikini Stella McCartney Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I love hr tight body. Her personality is her only drawback imo.

  50. Nikki Lund Cleavage Richie Sambora Business Partner
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Sambora and Lund really do have a fashion line for aging rockers, with built in corsets to hide the tummy, and absorbent padding to soak up middle-aged flop sweat when up on stage.

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