The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.1.14

August 1st, 2014 // 354 Comments

On account of Fish and I bailing to go see a matinee of Guardians of the Galaxy like two strong, straight, sports-loving American men are wont to do, here’s your insanely early and hastily tossed together The Crap We Missed, because if I know one thing, it’s that I need to get the large pretzel bites, because I’ll ask him if he’s going to have any, he’ll say no, but then when I get the small, next thing I know half of them are gone and I’ll say “Why didn’t you just get your own?” and he’ll be all “You can just say I’m fat, I know that’s what you’re thinking.” and he’ll post a “feeling depressed” status with no message explaining it to his FB page and just sulk for the entire movie you guys get totally pissed if you have to wait a whole weekend to find out Seal‘s new lady is into assplay.

Catch you on Monday, real jobbers,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Kenny Rogers Pointing To Picture Of Michael Jackson And Bubbles Dan Rather The Country Music Hall Of Fame And Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure there is a riveting story behind Kenny Rogers and that photo. With any luck, and perhaps if we pay him extra, Dan Rather will keep it to himself.

  2. JWoww Cleavage Fucked Up Face Holding Bottled Water And Iced Coffee
    Commented on this photo:

    Well that escalated quickly

  3. Chris Brown Checking Out Waitress On Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    If 2Pac were alive I think Chris Brown would be dead.

  4. Dolph Lundgren Foot Up On Railing At Outdoor Restaurant
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Richard Lewis found himself mesmerized once again by the amazing stories that flowed forth from the simple question “Can you tell me about that movie you shot in Bulgaria?”

  5. Vas J Morgan See Through Shirt Lindsay Lohan Saggy Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Aww that’s cute, they wear each others clothes.

  6. Bryan Singer Smiling LAX
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone better check the bathroom for a crying boy.

  7. Kendall Jenner Butt Tight White Jeans Heels LAX
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone better warn her that Bryan Singer is in the airport too, and he has a thing for 10-year-old boys.

  8. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I think in lieu of makeup today, I’ll just put my face in front of a sandblaster for a few minutes.

  9. Kim Kardashian Bra See Through Shirt LAX
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Her confused clone is following behind her. “I know you don’t understand language yet, since you’re just out of the vat. But your job is to do the really shitty appearances that even I won’t stoop to. And also a bunch of sex tapes with lower-tier rappers.”

  10. Dolph Lundgren Foot Up On Railing At Outdoor Restaurant
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    So I remember when you used to go down on Cousin Larry…

  11. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that ceremonial first pitch is the second most embarrassing thing 50 Cent has done.

  12. Jena Malone Lingerie For Love And Lemons Annual SKIVVIES Pparty
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The one in the pink in the background is intriguing.

  13. Jack Osbourne Man Boobs Tank Top Fedora
    Commented on this photo:

    Still trying to kick that food addiction.

  14. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Ozzy is looking good.

  15. Karina Jelinek Butt Thong Bikini Paz Cornu
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear God… that ass is so perfect. So beautiful. So… so… so tounge-punchable!!

    I’m sorry. I have a problem.

    • cc

      If being a guy is ‘a problem’ I have it too.

      Seriously, you’d be hard pressed to find a guy who doesn’t look at that picture and immediately think something similar.

  16. Kenny Rogers Pointing To Picture Of Michael Jackson And Bubbles Dan Rather The Country Music Hall Of Fame And Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    “Michael Jackson was high when he gave this to me. Also, that monkey bit me after I accused him of cheating at cards.”

  17. Hank Baskett About To Caress John Lucianos Face
    Commented on this photo:

    “I told you to go that way.”
    “…but I want to come with you.”
    “that’s what the he/she said.”
    *mutual laughter*

  18. Jack Osbourne Man Boobs Tank Top Fedora
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks so strong.

  19. Seal Bending Over For New Girlfriend Yacht Sardinia
    Commented on this photo:

    “Baby, why do you call me Justin when we make love?”

  20. Dolph Lundgren Foot Up On Railing At Outdoor Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    “So Seal was leaning over the railing and I started cupping his balls like this…”

  21. Chris Brown Checking Out Waitress On Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    Many people will hit on the wait staff. Only Chris Brown will leave bruises.

  22. Vas J Morgan See Through Shirt Lindsay Lohan Saggy Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    So she employs him to exhibit her court-ordered warning label?

  23. Hilaria Baldwin Cleavage Bikini Yoga Pose Pool Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Downward Piggy

  24. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Tight Minidress
    freaknuts
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait… Why is the inside of her left knee all pointy? And the outside of her right thigh all jacked up? IS SHE FINALLY DISSOLVING??

  25. Bryan Singer Smiling LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s gonna piss someone off, and the shit he’s been accused of is going to catch up with him. Give it maybe a year or two…right after the media coverage of him slows down.

    Bam. Problem solved.

  26. Karina Jelinek Butt Thong Bikini Paz Cornu
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Have no idea who these two are, but their perfectly-formed asses make up for those crap-ass pics of Kardashian/Jenner sluts!

  27. Bryan Singer Smiling LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    If Bryan Singer hadn’t become a famous director, I’d imagine he’d be the drama teacher at a high school in the San Fernando Valley who always wants the boys to hang out with him afterwards in the theatre props room.

  28. Jena Malone Lingerie For Love And Lemons Annual SKIVVIES Pparty
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jena, you sound so damn good, just keep right on yodeling while I go back there and bang your friend in the pink lingerie.”

  29. Kenny Rogers Pointing To Picture Of Michael Jackson And Bubbles Dan Rather The Country Music Hall Of Fame And Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    “This right there is Michael holding me when I was just a little boy.”

  30. Hank Baskett About To Caress John Lucianos Face
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t fucking want it, dude. It came out of your nose.”

  31. Kendra Wilkinson Hugging Jessica Hall Butt Cheek Romper
    Commented on this photo:

    I am always impressed by Kendra’s butt, but other than that, this photo is a waste of pixels.

  32. Vas J Morgan See Through Shirt Lindsay Lohan Saggy Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    When he asked for flapjacks to go, he should have been more specific.

  33. Dolph Lundgren Foot Up On Railing At Outdoor Restaurant
    Alfred E. Newman
    Commented on this photo:

    I must break wind

  34. Jack Osbourne Man Boobs Tank Top Fedora
    Commented on this photo:

    “I just got a call from Rob Kardashian. He needs my help, one reality-show-unwanted-overweight-brother to another. On my way – this is me, running to the Fatmobile.”

  35. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, I confess. I think she’s a total doll and I’d love explore some of our various erogenous zones with her. I bet her pussy tastes just like sarsaparilla.

  36. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    Alecsandr Hungwell
    Commented on this photo:

    Sam Kinneson lost some weight!!!

  37. JWoww Cleavage Fucked Up Face Holding Bottled Water And Iced Coffee
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucking doofus…cute in a totally abstract, Pablo Picasso-esque way, but a doofus nonetheless.

  38. Vas J Morgan See Through Shirt Lindsay Lohan Saggy Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Were there any reports of Lindsay Lohan being found dead today? I figured the labelling on his shirt is a warning of what comes out of his dick.

  39. Kendall Jenner Butt Tight White Jeans Heels LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice! Says my dick. Run away says my brain.

  40. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I loved him in Ironman 2.

  41. Hilaria Baldwin Cleavage Bikini Yoga Pose Pool Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to wonder what the problem is…I think she’s hot.

  42. Dita Von Teese Cleavage Maternity Line Bras
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG, she’s pregnant???

  43. Kenny Rogers Pointing To Picture Of Michael Jackson And Bubbles Dan Rather The Country Music Hall Of Fame And Museum
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright, show me on the monkey where the monkey’s owner touched you.”

  44. Chris Brown Checking Out Waitress On Yacht
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo waitress, can I get one of those drinks? What’s it called?”
    “It’s a Bloody Mary.”
    “….nevermind.”

  45. Bryan Singer Smiling LAX
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s imagining that those self-service kiosks had little boys inside that would pop out and…do stuff…while you check in

  46. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Tight Minidress
    oops
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a rare photo for which a “sharp knees” comment might actually make sense. Egads.

  47. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Tight Minidress
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Barbie Pole.

  48. Joe Simpson Vaping LAX
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Joe Simson was “done” a long time ago.

  49. Karina Jelinek Butt Thong Bikini Paz Cornu
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I could grow accustomed to that face.

  50. Chrissy Teigen Stomach Shirt Lifting Up Throwing Baseball
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve had ENOUGH of these implants!

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