The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.1.14

August 1st, 2014 // 354 Comments

On account of Fish and I bailing to go see a matinee of Guardians of the Galaxy like two strong, straight, sports-loving American men are wont to do, here’s your insanely early and hastily tossed together The Crap We Missed, because if I know one thing, it’s that I need to get the large pretzel bites, because I’ll ask him if he’s going to have any, he’ll say no, but then when I get the small, next thing I know half of them are gone and I’ll say “Why didn’t you just get your own?” and he’ll be all “You can just say I’m fat, I know that’s what you’re thinking.” and he’ll post a “feeling depressed” status with no message explaining it to his FB page and just sulk for the entire movie you guys get totally pissed if you have to wait a whole weekend to find out Seal‘s new lady is into assplay.

Catch you on Monday, real jobbers,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Something wrong here. Never has a bad hair day or a mismatched outfit day. A little *too* perfect if you know what I mean.

  2. Kendra Wilkinson Hugging Jessica Hall Butt Cheek Romper
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘You put skank in my golddigging whore!’
    ‘You put golddigging whore int my skank!’
    ‘Let’s be friends’
    ‘Okay’

  3. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Tight Minidress
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you will she manages to always look really out together.

  4. Chrissy Teigen Stomach Shirt Lifting Up Throwing Baseball
    Commented on this photo:

    She throws like a girl.

  5. Joe Simpson Vaping LAX
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    In an effort to curb this vaping thing, I am filling as many as I can with Mr. Clean.

  6. Seal Bending Over For New Girlfriend Yacht Sardinia
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, Kilmerbieber…yeah….right there….

  7. JWoww Cleavage Fucked Up Face Holding Bottled Water And Iced Coffee
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    No honey, having a 1,000 calorie drink and a zero calorie drink doesn’t average out to 500 calories.

  8. Jena Malone Lingerie For Love And Lemons Annual SKIVVIES Pparty
    Commented on this photo:

    Brittany Murphy’s corpse looks pretty good.

  9. Kenny Rogers Pointing To Picture Of Michael Jackson And Bubbles Dan Rather The Country Music Hall Of Fame And Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    “The thing about monkeys is that you got to know when to hold em.”

  10. Kendra Wilkinson Hugging Jessica Hall Butt Cheek Romper
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope this is the start of a new sextape.

  11. Joe Simpson Vaping LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “Vape me….Vape me, my friend…”

  12. Jack Osbourne Man Boobs Tank Top Fedora
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those Tootsie Rolls in his pockets or is he happy to see someone? Nah, they’re Tootsie Rolls.

  13. Hilaria Baldwin Cleavage Bikini Yoga Pose Pool Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it possible to choke to death on narcissism? I hope so.

  14. Alec Baldwin Chiltern Firehouse
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Alec Baldwin and Val Kilmer at a gay bar in London.

  15. Diane Kruger Butt Daisy Dukes Joshua Jackson Panama Hat
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s no way to carry a baby.

  16. Dolph Lundgren Foot Up On Railing At Outdoor Restaurant
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    So I said to Sly, ‘Kiss my fucking foot and I’ll be in your movie’ and he did.

  17. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Instagram accepts daguerreotypes now?

  18. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s firing on all cylinders these days. It’s too bad she’s batshit crazy or I might have just fallen for that trap.

    • Jack Hoff

      Let me get this straight; you’re okay with doing Lindsay™ and/or herpes Hilton, but not this nutter.

      *SMH*
      Don, you really do need some help.

      • Taylor Swift crazy is a special kind of crazy. She’s the clingy, write an entire album about you, buy the house next to yours so she can stalk you up close kind of crazy.

        Paris and Lindsay would most likely give you some pussy and forget your name the next day because they’re so strung out., or they’re already fucking someone else. Which is great for me because I’m not looking for a relationship from them.

      • Nor are they from you.

      • I love the suggestion that you would have an icecube’s chance in a blast furnace of scoring with ANY of those women…

      • Let me have my delusions please. They’re all I’ve got.

  19. Chris Brown Checking Out Waitress On Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing beats a nice drink on a hot day…

  20. Bryan Singer Smiling LAX
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy behind him looks a little light in the loafers.

  21. Kendall Jenner Butt Tight White Jeans Heels LAX
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the embargo on Malaysian Airlines flights still in effect?

  22. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    No honey, the reflection you see in the side of that van really DOES look like you.

  23. Chrissy Teigen Stomach Shirt Lifting Up Throwing Baseball
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Her pants look just about ready to fall off. *prays*

  24. Kendall Jenner Butt Tight White Jeans Heels LAX
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we agree to never post her photos? End the cycle now.

  25. Chris Brown Checking Out Waitress On Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m gonna beat dat white ass. Wait, that’s not a good pickup line? Where you going?”

  26. Vas J Morgan See Through Shirt Lindsay Lohan Saggy Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody’s regretting their choice of bottom bitch.

  27. Chrissy Teigen Stomach Shirt Lifting Up Throwing Baseball
    Joe Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    The Ringer starrring Chrissy Teigen

  28. Karina Jelinek Butt Thong Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    OH. MY. GOD.

  29. Karina Jelinek Butt Thong Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy behind her is about to capture the greatest photobomb of all time.

  30. Hilaria Baldwin Cleavage Bikini Yoga Pose Pool Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    So fucking sexy.

  31. Joe Simpson Vaping LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear to all fucking things holy, use of the term “vaping” will be the thing that finally gets me to leave this site once and for all. I’ll put up with the famous babies (god I hate those babies), I’ll deal with Coco’s funhouse mirror body, I’ll even put up with Kanye’s smug face pouting about all the rape he has to put up with.

    but I will NOT put up with the word “vaping” entering the common lexicon. I’m pissed off that I’ve even had to type “vaping” three times now.

    • You forgot half-windsor ties.

    • I thought “vaping” was a marijuana thing. Like the vapor lounge at the BCMP office in Vancouver. Which you should go to BTW.

      I thought that thing was one of these e-cig gadgets.

      • Jimmy

        It’s both. If you vape oils, it’s nicotine. If it’s a dry vape, it’s weed. Oil vapes are easier to manufacture, cheaper and available everywhere. Don’t know where you are, but get used to the term – it’s rapidly replacing cigarettes. No second hand smoke, just vape clouds.

        Portable dry vapes like the Pax are $200. http://www.ploom.com/pax . Great for concerts or smoking in places where smoking a joint will get you in trouble.

      • Yes those e-cig things are all the rage in MN. Shops that sell that shit and bananaberry strawberry shortcake nicotine juice are popping up all over the place. I’ve never heard it referred to as vaping though. I dunno, usually like “smoking an e-cig” I’ve always heard vaping used specifically for weed or THC concentrates.

        I actually have a pax. It’s sort of a pain in the ass. Gums up all the time.

      • that’s the part that baffles me.

        People use vaporizers to smoke weed and think they’re being discreet…like nobody can tell they’re smoking weed. but EVERYONE can tell.

    • What about “Zalooging?”

    • Too Late! It is already part of the common Lexicon. I was listening to the radio while driving a rather long distance the other day, was trying to find a NPR station to hear the news, and heard a Vaping commercial on (wait for it) Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh is a Vapor, of all people.

  32. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Always was and still is a gorgeous woman.

  33. Kendall Jenner Butt Tight White Jeans Heels LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever.

  34. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    Iim
    Commented on this photo:

    dat gap

  35. Kenny Rogers Pointing To Picture Of Michael Jackson And Bubbles Dan Rather The Country Music Hall Of Fame And Museum
    Commented on this photo:

    “And that’s why Blanket always keeps his face covered.”

  36. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says sexy like being so fucking in love with yourself that you’re constantly taking selfies of your fake tits and tacky photoshopping. Yeah! Not.

    • Jimmy

      Nothing says sexy likely have sex with a sexy woman. If it bothers you that she’s in love with herself, maybe sex isn’t your thing.

  37. Chelsea Handler No Make Up Cellulite Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Holt shit. Aileen Wuornos is still alive! Does the government know about this?

  38. Chris Brown Checking Out Waitress On Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    “Quit bringing me Cranberry Juice, Bitch! My UTI has totally cleared up.”

  39. Jack Osbourne Man Boobs Tank Top Fedora
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll never understand wealthy people with cheap, low quality tattoos.

    but then I’ll never understand poor people with cheap, low quality tattoos. If you can’t afford to mark your body permanently without looking like you did time in prison, maybe just stick with drawing on yourself with a sharpie.

  40. Diane Kruger Butt Daisy Dukes Joshua Jackson Panama Hat
    Hank Bass
    Commented on this photo:

    I expected to be more aroused, given that I think she is beautiful. Probably all the porn I’m exposed to

  41. Diane Kruger Butt Daisy Dukes Joshua Jackson Panama Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    He was struck by lighting wearing that hat. true story.

  42. Vas J Morgan See Through Shirt Lindsay Lohan Saggy Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Does you mind if we dance wif yo dates?”

  43. Dita Von Teese Cleavage Maternity Line Bras
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone with no children selling a maternity line?

  44. Vas J Morgan See Through Shirt Lindsay Lohan Saggy Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Still bloated … and braless.

  45. Jack Osbourne Man Boobs Tank Top Fedora
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s sad because he just found out that Sharnado 2 was just a movie, and his sister didn’t really get her head bitten off. Oops…spoiler alert.

  46. Chrissy Teigen Stomach Shirt Lifting Up Throwing Baseball
    Commented on this photo:

    apparently I have a fetish for “spastic”. ziiiip…

  47. Dita Von Teese Cleavage Maternity Line Bras
    Commented on this photo:

    Still as beautiful as ever.

  48. Alec Baldwin Chiltern Firehouse
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh no! Just like in Star Trek where Captain Kirk’s masculine side and feminine side got separated!

  49. Dolph Lundgren Foot Up On Railing At Outdoor Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re damned right that you can see right up my pant leg. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll just keep looking!”

  50. Karina Jelinek Butt Thong Bikini Paz Cornu
    Commented on this photo:

    Here, let me brush that off for you (ziiiiip….)

Leave A Comment