“No captain, she said she won’t board until we change it to S.S. Buttsex.”
Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where Sara Jean Underwood absolutely owns Adrianne Curry at Comic-Con, Mick Jagger answers approximately how many more farewell tours The Stones are planning, and Elizabeth Berkley just remembered she forgot something. Probably left the stove on. And exactly how much can a fart smell like man-goo?
Only Edward Cullen knows the answer,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
She looks like she was raped in the parking lot. By the way, has anyone seen Daniel Tosh?
Yes. He also was raped in the parking lot
That’s in his contract.
WTF? Is Jerry Sandusky on work release already?
Hide yo’ kids, Hide you’ wife ’cause they rapin’ everybody up in here!
When that ‘O’ turns into the Eye of Sauron, you should see those kiddies run.
Okay, we get it, you are an enlightened, nurturing fellow…move on.
Lautner’s thinking, “I wonder if I can eat cardboard”
I thought it was “Cannot…emote…with…shirt…on.”
He somewhat has a shirt on. He needs a gold chain though.
Marky Mark’s evil twin plots his own parallel, sinister film career.
Ummm, editor fell asleep at the wheel I see.
What kind of fucking gay ass hipster shoes is he wearing?
He is wearing the new Darth Vader kicks.
But can he out run my bullet?
“I will break you…and also ask for a $20 autograph fee.”
His publicist told him to take that baby EVERYWHERE.
Wait, what? There’s another one of these fucking movies?!!!
Hang on….I think it’s almost over.
And then the three 50 Shades of Grey movies take over. Yay?
No. Not yay.
I am waiting for the Magic Mike sequel.
You know when you’re watching a movie and it dawns on you that it is actually a gay porn? That’s this scene.
That’s actually happened to you before?
very hot
Aunt Jemima’s updated her look.
Pancakes? Yes we can!
She must have the same “skin condition” that MJ did to turn her white.
From the worried look on her face I would say she has a monkey on her back, or perhaps a small red dragon.
I was going to ask how she managed to age 10 years in the last six months…but then I saw the Disney logo. Disney does that to you.
I worry she might have contracted Old Crone’s Disease from Kutcher.
alcohol isnt doing her any favors, she needs to quit sleeping on her face
Being Ukrainian does that to you.
Screwing Ashton does this to you.
Daddy is going to show you how to pick up boys!
“Wait. You have a hat? I don’t have a hat.”
Why is he hanging out with Hetty from NCIS LA?
I don’t remember Daenerys accessorizing her dragins with nunchuk dildos, but I’m all in favor of Season 3 spoilers.
I missed the last couple flicks… Did Luke Skywalker get AIDS?
No, but he did eat Wedge.
and type 2 diabetes
“I’ll be damned, Lautner CAN close his mouth. I owe you $5″
What the fuck is she wearing?
Something comfy that will cover up a multitude of problems.
I’m pretty sure it’s my grandmother’s quilt.
dutch shower curtain?
She’s hitch hiking to comic-con
Disney’s doing Oz’s now? Maybe I can get just a nickle bag or something.
In fairness, vampires can’t see themselves in mirrors.
Mixed race whores, uniting America through depression.
I know you’d expect me to take a couple of cheap shots at some low hanging fruit here, but I actually like her show, so…free pass.
Is she playing an Olsen Twin? Spot on!
I can count to potato!
That outfit is horrible, I would have to rip it off of her immediately.
Nice fucking shoes, Maria.
Looks as though The Force fucked off.
“…because daddy played The Punisher once, long before he played a gay prostitute, that’s why we’re here”
His face clearly shows what he thinks of Lautner’s acting and he is correct.
Didn’t she used to be black?
What is she now? An Irish genie?
She looks like my China.
Okay I have to ask, did you name your dinnerware China or are you actually talking about the country?
Insert Fry meme, “not sure if you are serious”
Ask him to interview a professional wrestler and watch that smile disappear.
Wait. Did Leia make a baby with Jabba while she was held captive? God damn Lucas revisions!
He’s 9/10ths of the way to being an exhibit at Body Worlds.
He is definitely daring the guy to say something about the shoes.
I’d make a joke but after seeing an interview with him I think he is certifiably retarded. I’m glad to see he got dressed all by himself today.
The room service maître d’ wants his jacket back though.
Awww… He cut his own hair…
all that Star Wars money & ya can’t buy moisturiser or fuckin shampoo?
“Use the FORCE Luke…not FORK! sigh…at least there’s another Skywalker. wait..she what??? dammit!!!”
to be honest, I have that same shirt. Picked it up at Costco in Cabo San Lucas.
You can get a black T-shirt anywhere
See what i did there ?
Not very good was it ?
I believe I’d be happy to wake up beside her.
She must be a vampire. As soon as I saw her, all the blood drained out of my penis.
have tits. will travel.
Is this a Just for Men ad?
Is it hard to get in to Comic-Con? I’d love to chase them around and rob their iPhones
That’s just the “black” in “blackandwhiteminstrel” talking…
HOW DARE YOU GAZE UPON THE DAUGHTER OF THE SON OF ODIN?
Shoes??? Just said fuck it or did he forget them in the bathroom when he was with his last john?
Edna Mode asking him how the super-suit she made fits the baby.